My mother - she means well...
raquelle69
Posts: 30 Member
in Chit-Chat
Firstly, I love my mum to bits.
She is stuck in the 70's way of dieting. I remember sitting with her at Weightwatchers (I was about 6 in the 70's), she was "winning" little medals every week for losing weight. The gainers had to sit in the "pig pen". She still talks about this as a proud achievement because all of the women hated her for always winning...messed up huh!? She still has this mentality:
Me yesterday: Mum, I lost 1.5kg!
Her: Oh? How much do you weight now?
Me: Why does it matter?
Her: Why does it matter if I know?
Me: Why does it matter if you don't know?
Her: I don't understand why you don't want to tell me.
Me: Because it's not a competition.
She is also trying to lose weight through a local weight loss group, she is succeeding, but the competition drives her. I am happy for her but I don't see it as a competition. My sister and I have watched her for decades doing this. I am not blaming her for my weight issues but I am conscious of not letting her undermine my efforts or sabotage my success. I'm winning for myself, not for anybody else's benefit. She was a bit miffed that I wouldn't tell her.
Just venting, thanks for listening.
She is stuck in the 70's way of dieting. I remember sitting with her at Weightwatchers (I was about 6 in the 70's), she was "winning" little medals every week for losing weight. The gainers had to sit in the "pig pen". She still talks about this as a proud achievement because all of the women hated her for always winning...messed up huh!? She still has this mentality:
Me yesterday: Mum, I lost 1.5kg!
Her: Oh? How much do you weight now?
Me: Why does it matter?
Her: Why does it matter if I know?
Me: Why does it matter if you don't know?
Her: I don't understand why you don't want to tell me.
Me: Because it's not a competition.
She is also trying to lose weight through a local weight loss group, she is succeeding, but the competition drives her. I am happy for her but I don't see it as a competition. My sister and I have watched her for decades doing this. I am not blaming her for my weight issues but I am conscious of not letting her undermine my efforts or sabotage my success. I'm winning for myself, not for anybody else's benefit. She was a bit miffed that I wouldn't tell her.
Just venting, thanks for listening.
6
Replies
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rainandsilence wrote: »What’s a kg?
Kilogram0 -
rainandsilence wrote: »We don’t understand those
I'm sorry. It's not hard to learn.2 -
rainandsilence wrote: »We don’t understand those
😂3 -
Weight loss competitions are very popular. I hear they even made a tv show on that premise.5
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My mom is different, she isn't losing weight and is convinced it's impossible. Her motto is 'a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips'.
I've lost 30lbs and I'm sure she has noticed, but she's refusing to acknowledge it, since it would mean weight loss isn't actually impossible.
If anything, I feel like she's trying to sabotage me, by pushing me to have dessert. I swear she had a victorious look on her face when I decided to have some dessert last time I visited (it's become a rare occasion since I started my weight loss journey).
It's funny how people react to our weight loss, they all have their own frame of reference. As long as we stick to what works for us
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My mom is different, she isn't losing weight and is convinced it's impossible. Her motto is 'a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips'.
I've lost 30lbs and I'm sure she has noticed, but she's refusing to acknowledge it, since it would mean weight loss isn't actually impossible.
If anything, I feel like she's trying to sabotage me, by pushing me to have dessert. I swear she had a victorious look on her face when I decided to have some dessert last time I visited (it's become a rare occasion since I started my weight loss journey).
It's funny how people react to our weight loss, they all have their own frame of reference. As long as we stick to what works for us
30lb is great! Good for you 😀. My mum tries to feed me sweets also, but she does it out of love, habit and she needs to give me something. I do it to my kids also... try to feed them nice things - because I want to give.0 -
Some people find it motivating and thrive off competitions and challenges.
What does the pig pen consist of?.. they just don’t get acknowledged?1 -
Who is “we”? Uninformed people without access to Google?rainandsilence wrote: »We don’t understand those
I think it’s kinda rude to say “we don’t understand those” instead of taking the three seconds to Google it.
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OP I'm sorry. Maybe don't share your progress with your mom. It's likely she'll continue to make it a competition with you.
I think you are doing great, and any weight loss should be celebrated.1 -
gallicinvasion wrote: »
Who is “we”? Uninformed people without access to Google?rainandsilence wrote: »We don’t understand those
I think it’s kinda rude to say “we don’t understand those” instead of taking the three seconds to Google it.
Would you like to speak to the manager?5 -
You have to do this for yourself @raquelle69 and much as it is nice to share and get positive feedback my experience is to take it when it comes however not to seek positive reinforcement from those who don't understand your goals and methods.
Well done on the 1.5 kg (3.307 lbs) and any other progress you make towards your goals.0 -
_Miss_chievous_ wrote: »gallicinvasion wrote: »
Who is “we”? Uninformed people without access to Google?rainandsilence wrote: »We don’t understand those
I think it’s kinda rude to say “we don’t understand those” instead of taking the three seconds to Google it.
Would you like to speak to the manager?
🤣😂🤣3 -
Maybe the competition is just what motivates her. I don’t like competing with others when it comes to weight loss. We are all so different that it doesn’t make sense to me to do so.
My mom feels weight loss is too difficult so she doesn’t try. She refuses to count calories or anything else. She loves watching Biggest Loser type shows and has unrealistic expectations now. If she loses one or 2 lbs in a week she is discouraged because she didn’t lose 10 lbs in one week like the contestants on the show. I have tried to talk to her about it and she is a nurse and quite smart but she is still influenced by the show.3 -
Ignore her comments. When she is successful tell her she has done a wonderful job. She will eventually get the message.2
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rainandsilence wrote: »This all sounds curiously high strung and Gallic. Or British maybe. Next thing you know we’ll be counting in stones and calculating kilojoules for watercress sandwiches and warm lager.
OP tell us more about this Pig Pen section that you mention in these Weight Watchers meetings popular in your metric homeland...
😄😄 I live in Australia. The pig pen was a child's playpen that they had to sit in - on chairs ... in the 70's. I have a feeling the pigpen wasn't a weight watchers-approved deterant, but something they had initiated at this particular ww group.0 -
TheMrWobbly wrote: »You have to do this for yourself @raquelle69 and much as it is nice to share and get positive feedback my experience is to take it when it comes however not to seek positive reinforcement from those who don't understand your goals and methods.
Well done on the 1.5 kg (3.307 lbs) and any other progress you make towards your goals.
Thanks. It is my first week but I have now lost 2.6 kg (5.7 lb) in 6 days, very happy.0 -
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raquelle69 wrote: »rainandsilence wrote: »This all sounds curiously high strung and Gallic. Or British maybe. Next thing you know we’ll be counting in stones and calculating kilojoules for watercress sandwiches and warm lager.
OP tell us more about this Pig Pen section that you mention in these Weight Watchers meetings popular in your metric homeland...
😄😄 I live in Australia. The pig pen was a child's playpen that they had to sit in - on chairs ... in the 70's. I have a feeling the pigpen wasn't a weight watchers-approved deterant, but something they had initiated at this particular ww group.
I've heard about them being at other meetings too. It was before I ever went to one though. You had to make an oinking noise too if you were a pig that week. Unbelievable.1 -
You know she is going to be a hassle about it. Don't tell her that you lost the weight or at the very least don't start the conversation. You telling her you lost weight is what prompted the how much you weigh question. If you don't want to talk about it with her don't start the conversation. Discuss something else instead.0
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raquelle69 wrote: »rainandsilence wrote: »This all sounds curiously high strung and Gallic. Or British maybe. Next thing you know we’ll be counting in stones and calculating kilojoules for watercress sandwiches and warm lager.
OP tell us more about this Pig Pen section that you mention in these Weight Watchers meetings popular in your metric homeland...
😄😄 I live in Australia. The pig pen was a child's playpen that they had to sit in - on chairs ... in the 70's. I have a feeling the pigpen wasn't a weight watchers-approved deterant, but something they had initiated at this particular ww group.
I've heard about them being at other meetings too. It was before I ever went to one though. You had to make an oinking noise too if you were a pig that week. Unbelievable.
Oh yes! She did mention the oinking!!0 -
You know she is going to be a hassle about it. Don't tell her that you lost the weight or at the very least don't start the conversation. You telling her you lost weight is what prompted the how much you weigh question. If you don't want to talk about it with her don't start the conversation. Discuss something else instead.
True. She will only know when the loss is visible.0
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