I'm Bored.. Tell me a story!

Agggh, that thing from Never Ending Story gives me the creeps. So much for going to bed.

All its wants to be is... LOVED!

Tosh the Giant

Not far from where you live, there stands a village. It is not an unusual village. It has houses and shops, and people. The people work, play, argue and laugh, just the same as people in other places do. The village is not the point. It is entirely unremarkable. What is remarkable, is the creature that dwells on the large hill next to the village. A giant.

Tosh the Giant lived in a hut atop a hill beside an unremarkable village. He lived by himself except for his bees and his vegetable garden. He lived a peaceful existence, collecting honey, foraging in the forest and collecting pretty stones that he used to make wind chimes. He was fully self-sufficient. He drank water from the river or made tea using the dried mint he collected. He ate broth made using the herbs and mushrooms from the forest, and bread made from flour he milled himself from wild grains. He had everything he needed and, because he only desired that which was necessary, everything he wanted. He was content.

The village people were suspicious of Tosh, but mostly left him alone. The local children would sometimes try to touch the door of his hut and would watch him from a distance, but would always run away when they knew they had been discovered. There was one incident involving a burning sack on his doorstep, but it only took one time for him to learn not to stamp out the fire so they didn’t try that anymore.

One day, things changed.

People almost never traveled to the village. There was no reason to, so when a worldly traveler happened upon their village, the residents were thrilled. They begged him for news of the world around them and he happily obliged. He regaled them with tales of here and there and this and that and they hung on his every word, mouths agape and thought him a hero. He decided to stay for a while.

Not long after arriving at the village, the worldly traveler decided to explore the surrounding area. Inevitably, he climbed the nearby hill. Tosh’s hill. His first glimpse of Tosh caught him off guard. Tosh was not unpleasant to look at (not at all, in fact) but he was 3 times taller than other people. The traveler was surprised not only to see a giant but that no one in the village had thought it worth mentioning. He spent several hours watching Tosh from behind trees and shrubs and decided he was afraid.

When he returned to the village, he was armed with a plan to eliminate Tosh. He pretended he hadn’t seen the giant, and casually mentioned a different giant from a different village. The story he told was of an evil giant who bided his time living nearby and then, without provocation, attacked the villagers and stole their children. At first the villagers were reluctant to think that their local giant could be capable of such uncivilized behavior, but after talking amongst themselves they managed to convince each other that Tosh was a threat.

Thus, the campaign began. It started on a sunny morning while Tosh was drinking his tea and warming up some bread with honey. The villagers had climbed the hill and stood at the end of his neatly cobblestoned walkway. They demanded he come out. He put down his tea cup and walked to the door to see how he could help. As he opened the door he was pelted with stones and sticks and small pieces of broken glass. Shocked, he immediately closed the door.

“Why?” he asked them. “I have done nothing different. I have lived here for years and never bothered anyone.”

The traveler pushed out his chest, stood as tall as he could and spoke. “You are not welcome here. Leave this place and trouble us no more.”

The giant, confused and afraid, stayed in his hut for the rest of the day.

The next morning, when he opened his door to walk to stream to collect water, again he was assaulted with debris. He went back inside, and there he stayed, still confused and still frightened, until morning.

Day after day it continued. He had no fresh water, nothing to eat and was exhausted. Finally he sighed and sadly said to himself, “Enough.” He looked at his dwindling firewood supply and he looked at his wind chimes made with pretty stones and he got an idea.

When the following dawn arrived, Tosh was ready. He opened the door, just a crack, and saw the troublesome traveler and the rest of the villagers. He pushed the door wide and walked outside. With one hand attempting the shield his eyes from the stones, sticks and glass, and the other behind his back, he slowly approached the mob.
Suddenly, there was stunned silence from the villagers, as the nearest ones were showered with a spray of blood, spittle, teeth and jawbone shards. The traveler lay dead, his face unrecognizable after having been smashed by the makeshift mace Tosh had fashioned by embedding pretty, shiny stones into a piece of firewood.

Tosh looked down at the villagers, scanning all of their faces. He spoke softly. “Please. Please just leave me alone.” They did. One by one, they walked away, without talking and without looking at one another.

When they were gone, the giant picked up a pretty stone that had become dislodged from his weapon because of the force of the blow that had struck the traveler. He wiped the blood and sand from it on his trouser leg and slid it into his pocket.

Things returned to normal after that, only the children never climbed the hill anymore and every so often, Tosh would go to the village and trade his wind chimes for items of luxury, such as a bit of meat for his soup or shortbread cookies to have with his tea.

The End

Moral: There are two morals to this story.

The first is never confuse kindness with weakness. The two rarely exist in the same body.

The second is don’t bother Tosh when he wants to be left alone.

On a night like this, I saw a mushroom emerging from the grown. I saw it, I stepped on it, it withered and passed away. The end.

Wow the queen finally decided to walk amongst the peasants?! To what do I owe the honor?! :P