Feeling Insecure, shy, embarrassed going to the gym.
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_rodrii011
Posts: 6 Member
Any advice on How you guys managed going to the gym without feeling insecure, embarrassed, discouraged from going to the gym? I always feel excited happy on going. But when I’m already at the gym i feel worst. My thoughts and consciousness always judging me and thinking the worst. Sometimes i just don’t want to accomplish a work out. Another reason is i just don’t know how to work out and i can’t afford a trainer. I have friends, but they are not that encouraging or not 100% when it comes to going to the gym. And I’m tired of feeling *kitten*. I have stop talking to a few because they don’t share the same mindset and we’re never fully there when i need them.
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Some gyms offer a free training session to teach you how to use the equipment. If yours doesn’t, maybe you can find one that does and just use the free session? Or pay for just one session of training to get you started. You can also watch YouTube videos to learn how to use the different pieces of equipment and form on different lifts.
Even if your friends aren’t that great maybe having someone there to start with would help. A gym buddy is great for self conscious people.
Always remember, everyone started sometime! Most regulars seeing newbies at the gym either don’t notice them because they are focused on their own workouts, or if they do, they feel happy to see someone trying to get in shape. It’s very unlikely, but even if someone was judging you as you fear, that’s not the end of the world. Keep going and each time it will get easier.1 -
_rodrii011 wrote: »My thoughts and consciousness always judging me and thinking the worst. Sometimes i just don’t want to accompliddsqsh a work out. Another reason is i just don’t know how to work out and i can’t afford a trainer.
Hopefully these links work:
https://youtu.be/9zaZVyUpz94
https://youtu.be/e89e8RK-WBM
This guy is the most amazing exercise trainer and his programme is about learning to use your muscles correctly.
If I'm dealing with pain I do these two then 10 minutes on the impulse bike leaning forward so I have to disengage my trapezius muscles.
For about 4 months this was all I did because I had such bad body posture and I was carrying injuries. Once I started using weights it was low weights and correct techniques - your core needs to support the exercise - so for example if you are doing a pull down you have your gluteus activated and shoulders down and using your lateral muscles not traps.
In terms of the confidence to be there I suspect its about you feeling that you are "just wasting your time". You are describing your Critical Parent ego state and you need to answer back from your Adult ego state with "I am not wasting time, I am doing something to improve my health". At the moment your Child ego state is feeling bad and trying to opt out by expecting the gym to involve going with friends. Instead view it as 'I'm doing a job like brushing teeth" time and don't expect to enjoy it.
I'm amazed because even after 3 years at the same gym there are times that people who see me regularly who don't realise I have a neurological deficit until they meet me outside the gym. It makes me realise people don't actually SEE each other
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There should be someone around to teach you how to use the machine properly. You don't need to pay extra for a PT to get that input - it should be included in your membership price. Did you not have an induction session? If you can't remember it, go back to gym management and ask for another induction. As to feeling embarassed etc for being unfit - imagine in two years time, you at the gym, all toned and energised, when a shy fat person walks in. The only thing you'd think is, "Good for you. I was at your stage not long ago." Anyone who thinks anything judgemental is not worth your consideration.
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Ok, this is my advice as a 65 yr old woman who goes to the gym and doesn't care what anyone thinks of me there (however I am polite and follow the rules). There are machines that are not difficult to figure out--treadmill, rowing, cycles, etc.. Start with those. Walk in and go up to someone who works there and say "Hi, I don't know much about these machines, could you please show me how one or two work?" This is to get you started. Once you are comfortable with two or three machines, and you've been watching what others are doing, go up to another that works there and ask them to show you how another machine works. I'm concentrating on the machines because it's easier to start and get comfortable. You can slowly branch out into weights and other things. Go step-by-step. Do not count on your friends to help you. I'd go when they aren't around. You may become a regular and meet lots of new friends. Luck.5
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One thing I have told myself is when I look around the gym I am not judging others for being there, I am focused on myself. Other people at the gym are the same way they are not judging you they are focusing on themselves.2
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Older dude here...
I'm in the gym 4-5 times a week and have been for the past few years. In my experience, most people are so into their own workouts, no one will pay much attention. When I first started, the gym bros paid exactly zero attention to the old dude struggling to bench press, dead lift, squat, etc. The staff are there to answer questions and will be happy to guide you through the equipment and machines. In terms of programs and training plans, there are quite of few free resources online. I would definitely recommend a structured program - it really depends on what your personal goals are. Check out the Fitness and Exercise Forum:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/categories/fitness-and-exercise
You'll find a ton of helpful info there. The important thing is choosing a program that works for you; and of course consistency. Good luck! You got this!0 -
Don’t talk to friends or family about your program. Not diet. Not exercise. If gym time comes around and your buddies want to go for beers just tell them you can’t. If pressed, tell them you HAVE TO go to the gym. If you get blow back from that, don’t respond. End the conversation. Sorry gotta go, hang up, walk away, whatever. Eventually they will get the message that it’s not open to discussion. If they persist in busting your chops over it, maybe consider the quality of your friends.
Other people in our lives are goiing to have issues with change. Even when we are trying to make changes that benefit us.
Don’t let their anxiety into your head. Work on establishing your program. A sign at a gym I used to belong to-
I’m working-
On myself
By myself
For myself
Accept that there’s a learning curve in anything to do with weight loss and fitness. Also accept that trial and error is the only real teacher and its a slow process.
Accept that a sound program, if properly executed will work. It has to work. It’s the way our bodies are designed. There are no secrets. Whatever your goals, there is a significant body of scientific research on both weight loss and fitness. Do some research. A lot of it. Look on YouTube for athlean-X. It’s a good place to start. But be careful. There is also a lot of misinformation and fitness click bait. But keep studying and testing and experimenting you will get it. I went from an 8 minute session on the stationary bike in my basement to a gym regular. It can be done and you can do it.
The gym takes time and persistence. There’s a lot to be said for just showing up. Go. Make a schedule and go as planned. Walk on the treadmill if that’s the best you can do at first. As others have said, most gyms will give you demonstrations. It’s in their best interest that the machines be used properly.
As others have said, if you are starting resistance training, machines are a good place to start. It helps with form. Bad form on machines always comes with working with weights that are too heavy. Start slow and under control. You can move to free weights with more study and experience.
Most of the other people at the gym are in their own bubble. But there are a lot of pretenders and people who are there to socialize. Look around. In a few weeks you’ll know who’s who. Maybe in a couple of months you’ll get a nod of recognition from a regular. The gym changed my life. You can have the life you want. You can do this.6 -
You have some good advice on this thread. Don't be afraid to ask the gym staff for a little help in how to use each piece of equipment. Take notes.
I like to have a written plan. So it's all on a piece of paper and I can look at what I have to do next and then tick it off. It stops that feeling of not knowing what to do. If another person is using the machine/equipment you need next then you can change the order of your routine. It's just a helpful prop to have - keeps you on plan.1 -
Tell the person at the front desk you think your form might be wrong on some machines and you need a quick refresher. They’ll give you one. If they balk and say you need to pay for a trainer, say you’re new and afraid of hurting yourself and they’ll definitely help you right then for free. Anyway: nobody’s watching you work out. Nobody is interested much in judging you. Once you’ve gone consistently for a month or so, you’ll know your machines and routines and you’re going to get confident.0
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I will add that you should give yourself permission to be a beginner. Sometimes we assume that others are thinking how we feel about ourselves. If you give yourself permission to be a total newbie you may find it easier.
Remember that everyone there had to learn and everyone there was totally lost initially.
If you chip away at it in a very short amount of time you will be proficient enough to be unintentionally making some other newbie feel insecure. It just takes time.2 -
Dude. Nobody and I mean nobody is paying attention to you in the gym. They are doing their own thing. And even if they were, who cares?! Stop caring about what others think and stay hard! To yourself. You owe them nothing! You owe yourself everything!
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I agree with the majority of advise already given. Definitely see if you can get an introduction to the machines, it'll help a lot and the person can give you guidelines on what to do. From there branch out, try something new each day/week. I started on the elliptical but was fascinated and scared of the stair treadmill, I finally decided I wasn't going to be anxious because of a machine and now I do it every time I go to the gym. I was already uncomfortable going to the gym but super nervous about the free weight room as I wasn't familiar with it at all. You become more comfortable with your routine the more you do it, like anything else. A bit thing that helps me is playlists, I have ones for different exercises and put one on when leaving the house and listen to it until I switch to my "cardio" playlist. It gets me fired up for the upcoming workout and helps me focus.1
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It's taken many decades but I'm (finally) learning not to worry about what other people think of me. I only have to reflect on how self-centered I am myself to remember that very few people are even thinking about me at all!1
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You may not even need a gym to get started! some of the most motivational success stories i’ve heard started with a walk everyday (10000 steps or a 3-5 mile walk to begin with) and after a while, you can try out the machines at the gym or practise body weight exercises at home using any of the free workouts on YouTube. just search for beginner workouts. Tune out the naysayers and just show up for your walk each day. Together with a calories in and out approach, you will definitely lose weight 💪1
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I love the gym but have been where you are. Setting up an easy routine with exercises you know and adding in one new machine or new exercise each session eases the awkwardness of trying to read so many directions at the gym. I now feel like a badass at the gym 🕶0
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