Recovering from an ED, Intermediate fasting

Karol__Anne
Karol__Anne Posts: 7 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Okay so my long story short. I am 23 years old. A few years ago I was really sick with an eating disorder among other mental health issues. I've been recovering these last couple years and I went from 108lb to at times over 200lb.. which I can say I dont regret recovering. I will say though that I cry every time I look at my wedding photos where I was over 200lb.

In the past every time I've tried to get my weight under control I've relapsed then gained it all back.

I'm trying really freaking hard to stay on the path of recovery but I need to lose some weight for many reasons.

Diabetes and heart issues run in my family.
I live with daily joint pain.
My limbs tingle and go numb at times.
I feel so unhappy with my appearance that for 3 years I've kept every mirror in my home hidden.

This last week I've been intermediate fasting to try to control my over eating.. and its becoming a struggle to not relapse, but its feast or famine my entire life.. even as a kid I was either given too much food or starved by my care givers.

I could really use some support as I try to reign in my compulsive eating while having encouragement not to relapse. I'm also trying to increase my activity but it's hard with the joint pain and I cant really go to gym.

I'm weirdly obsessed with numbers and it actually helps me to be able to see other peoples food and exercise numbers, when I see someone elses numbers are close to mine it calms my anxiety.

I'm rambling a bit because I'm really nervous to be open here about my issues.

But if anyone else is Intermittent Fasting or just wants to offer their support as friends then I'd greatly appreciate it.

I'm currently around 195lb (my scale is off and I dont weigh very often because its triggering)

I dont know if I'll be met with open arms or not here. But I hope people will not shun me for having dealt with an eating disorder.

Thank you for the time you spent reading this. I truly appreciate it.

Replies

  • josephinebowman
    josephinebowman Posts: 359 Member
    Folks here are just regular friendly types. I have been fat since I was about 7 at which time my mother thought I was too small. I am 62 and the things you fear are with me -- diabetes which links to chol and triglycerides with heart worries and then kidneys and acid reflux. I take dope for all that. I have to live to take care of my kid. I fast from 6 pm through 10 am. I use Weight Watchers (but have tried a whole lot in my life). Down about 25 pounds since mid-January and have 47ish to go. I try to exercise at least 30 mins a day. As I guess you know, we are 'stay at home' now until the country figures out what will happen. It may take people a while to answer but you'll find friends here and block anyone you feel the need to.
  • MarieSquats
    MarieSquats Posts: 47 Member
    Hi, I have BED. I'd love to add you. ❤ I'll send you a request. Hopefully we can support each other.
  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,399 Member
    Karol__Anne wrote: »
    Okay so my long story short. I am 23 years old. A few years ago I was really sick with an eating disorder among other mental health issues. I've been recovering these last couple years and I went from 108lb to at times over 200lb.. which I can say I dont regret recovering. I will say though that I cry every time I look at my wedding photos where I was over 200lb.

    In the past every time I've tried to get my weight under control I've relapsed then gained it all back.

    I'm trying really freaking hard to stay on the path of recovery but I need to lose some weight for many reasons.

    Diabetes and heart issues run in my family.
    I live with daily joint pain.
    My limbs tingle and go numb at times.
    I feel so unhappy with my appearance that for 3 years I've kept every mirror in my home hidden.

    This last week I've been intermediate fasting to try to control my over eating.. and its becoming a struggle to not relapse, but its feast or famine my entire life.. even as a kid I was either given too much food or starved by my care givers.

    I could really use some support as I try to reign in my compulsive eating while having encouragement not to relapse. I'm also trying to increase my activity but it's hard with the joint pain and I cant really go to gym.

    I'm weirdly obsessed with numbers and it actually helps me to be able to see other peoples food and exercise numbers, when I see someone elses numbers are close to mine it calms my anxiety.

    I'm rambling a bit because I'm really nervous to be open here about my issues.

    But if anyone else is Intermittent Fasting or just wants to offer their support as friends then I'd greatly appreciate it.

    I'm currently around 195lb (my scale is off and I dont weigh very often because its triggering)

    I dont know if I'll be met with open arms or not here. But I hope people will not shun me for having dealt with an eating disorder.

    Thank you for the time you spent reading this. I truly appreciate it.


    As for being met with open arms vs people giving you a hard time, MFP wouldn't allow attacks on people in recovery. The idea is to be understanding of those in recovery and help as much as people can. They even have some Eating Disorder Resources available for members/ It's not at all uncommon, and a number of people with disorders have discussed them openly in the forum areas.

    Your numbers obsession could be a good or bad thing depending on how you control it, so I would be mindful of directing that towards the more helpful paths that you take. And though it sounds like this entire thing might well have been started by your caregivers as a child, use this opportunity to realize that YOU now have the ability to correct it.

    Scale anxiety is a real thing for many people, so if that is a trigger by all means measure your progress with other methods. But I would suggest taking photos to help you track, even if you currently don't love your mirrors. Often people losing weight find that others notice it much sooner than they do, and they get caught in a loop of not seeing the results as quickly. Photos helps many let their thoughts catch up with the reality when they do have weight changes.


    There are a lot of supportive people on this site. Find the ones that fit your circumstances and desires the best, reach out to them, and get a support network in place. Best wishes for your success and meeting your goals. :smile:
  • djmiller54
    djmiller54 Posts: 37 Member
    Anyone interested, please friend me and reach out with a PN

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