Recent breakup & feeling fat (29F)

jessicagrey27
jessicagrey27 Posts: 26 Member
Hey everyone! Last year I started on a keto weight loss journey and lost about 30 pounds. Since the new year I slowly started eating what I wanted and gained back 10 pounds.

Dating someone who wasn’t supportive of my clean eating was really difficult. He was one of those guys who hit the gym and really muscular and fit so he ate what he wanted.

He’s always dated fitness models or personal trainers and I was nowhere near that... I had asked him to take me to the gym with him multiple times over the 2 years we dated (as I don’t know how to lift weights properly) but he would always come up with excuses and tell me I don’t need to work out when clearly I’m not fit.

We recently broke up (due to me not being good enough) and he has been very mean to me calling me fat and all these other horrible things.. making me feel super insecure and disgusting.

I have decided to eat mostly keto, but I do want to incorporate carbs such as oats and occasionally sweet potatoes. Not sure which diet is right for me but I want it to be balanced. I’m doing YouTube workouts for now since all gyms are closed and walking outside.

Right now I just need some support and motivation. Being in quarantine at home feeling depressed and binge eating isn’t helping.

I’m starting back on this fitness/clean eating journey for ME. Learning to love myself and taking time to heal after 2 years of verbal and emotional abuse

Replies

  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    Don't forget gaslighting as part of the psychological *f-kery* (kitten wasn't gonna work here, friends).

    Since the words of others seem to be of import to you, consider surrounding yourself with "champions." People who will objectively cheer you on.

    But even that's best as a temporary measure...until you consistently champion yourself and let the words of others skim off you like water off a duck's back lol

    In the meantime, the forum is great for the support you seek, along with ideas and inspo. And, you're already going with a plan that it seems that you like!
  • that_night_in_paris
    that_night_in_paris Posts: 457 Member
    Good luck on your journey

    I also wish him happiness... for he seems very troubled
  • cdubks88
    cdubks88 Posts: 3,573 Member
    Hey everyone! Last year I started on a keto weight loss journey and lost about 30 pounds. Since the new year I slowly started eating what I wanted and gained back 10 pounds.

    Dating someone who wasn’t supportive of my clean eating was really difficult. He was one of those guys who hit the gym and really muscular and fit so he ate what he wanted.

    He’s always dated fitness models or personal trainers and I was nowhere near that... I had asked him to take me to the gym with him multiple times over the 2 years we dated (as I don’t know how to lift weights properly) but he would always come up with excuses and tell me I don’t need to work out when clearly I’m not fit.

    We recently broke up (due to me not being good enough) and he has been very mean to me calling me fat and all these other horrible things.. making me feel super insecure and disgusting.

    I have decided to eat mostly keto, but I do want to incorporate carbs such as oats and occasionally sweet potatoes. Not sure which diet is right for me but I want it to be balanced. I’m doing YouTube workouts for now since all gyms are closed and walking outside.

    Right now I just need some support and motivation. Being in quarantine at home feeling depressed and binge eating isn’t helping.

    I’m starting back on this fitness/clean eating journey for ME. Learning to love myself and taking time to heal after 2 years of verbal and emotional abuse

    Sorry to hear that happened to you. Sounds like you're preparing yourself and getting things back on track. There is some fantastic support here in the forums and some great people.

    Wish you the best on your journey and as earlier comments suggested, definitely make sure you're taking care of you for you.

    Good luck!
  • e5litre
    e5litre Posts: 191 Member
    Damn, judging solely by your profile pic you are beautiful. They always say that you alone can establish your self worth. But I know how you feel. When you invest yourself into a union, be it a dating relationship or marriage, you judge yourself based on the perception of your significant other. I was in the same boat. My wife of over 14 years decided that I was no longer the one for her and turned her attention to a younger guy. Up until that point, i was very confident, but that changed after that situation. I'm slowly climbing myself back up that ladder of self esteem. I'm sure it's the opinion of all men in this forum that you are beautiful!
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Uh, judging by what you wrote... it sounds to me like you were too good for him. He doesn't deserve you and no one deserves to be treated or talked to like that.

    I know it hurts, but look at it this way: You are finally free to go find someone who values you as a person and that makes you happy.

    A relationship that makes you feel like *kitten* about yourself is not a relationship worth being in. :heart:
  • Unknown
    edited March 2020
    This content has been removed.
  • jessicagrey27
    jessicagrey27 Posts: 26 Member
    Thanks everyone for the support and encouragement! I really appreciate it ❤️
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    He’s not good enough for you. No good guy would put you down and call you names. Don’t feel you are not good enough. Just focus on you, know you deserve great treatment, and don’t settle for anything less than a guy who makes you feel beautiful always.
  • Okillhavecake
    Okillhavecake Posts: 4,855 Member
    Sorry to hear this, the very best of luck to you, you can do this and be happier in yourself... sorry now but he sounds like a Dick.. your better off without that negativity in your life. You were to good for him he’ll learn the hard way but it will be too late for him , everyone on here is so supportive and nice we’ll push and encourage you through this 💪🙌
  • milania2019
    milania2019 Posts: 1 Member
    Hi could you please help me with the keto diet as I’m wanting to start tomorrow and don’t how a good meal plan to loose weight with keto