Iv spent the past 10 years as a doormat

Mrsindepenant1
Mrsindepenant1 Posts: 196 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi all, I’d love some kind and supportive friends on here.
Iv been in a relo for a good 10 years. It’s been ok but iv gone from independent to a complete doormat. What started out as me being a supportive partner I think has turned into me being expected to drop everything and run around after him. My kind nature and loyalty has been taken advantage of. He’s a good man really, I think iv just maybe been too good to him and let him think it’s ok to walk over me. Iv been putting myself last for far too long. Iv put on 20kg over the 10 years, mostly after having our child. I feel gross.
Anyway I’m here trying to put myself first for a change and get my confidence and my body back, and maybe even get that “revenge body” so if he doesn’t appreciate me someone else will!

Replies

  • harper16
    harper16 Posts: 2,564 Member
    Ditch the weight and the loser that you are with. It's already clear he doesn't appreciate you.
  • aimjolie
    aimjolie Posts: 60 Member
    I am not advocating divorce because only you can decide that. Begin to start treating yourself with kindness like you would treat a best friend. Begin slowly. For example today, I will have a delicious piece of fruit instead of that sugar laden cake. I will take a walk for 20 minutes. I will wear a pretty shade of lipstick today, etc. Take care of your child who needs you. As far as your husband, you don’t have to be constantly running and dong everything for him. Let him see that you are putting yourself first for once. Maybe then he will begin to see that you are not his slave but an attractive woman who he is lucky to have. Remember you are attractive no matter what you weigh! Good luck and remember be kind to yourself. You are beautiful and so worth it!
  • sramsey1957
    sramsey1957 Posts: 1 Member
    From my experience, when I was in a twenty year marriage filled with verbal abuse, building a strong body helped strengthen my mind, increased my self esteem, and gave me power to stand up to my abuser. Physical strength will give you mental clarity. You deserve better. Life is short.
  • Mrsindepenant1
    Mrsindepenant1 Posts: 196 Member
    edited April 2020
    Thanks for the kind words. I’m hoping as my weight loss progresses I’ll become more confident and grow a backbone. I’m 5kg down, 20 to go!

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