When is enough enough?

honu18 · September 2011

I finally spilled and told my boyfriend what I've been doing for the last 3 months. He knew that I've gotten into a workout routine and maybe saw a little weight loss but we never really talked about it. The other day, I was concerned I may have a bit of a pre-eating disorder because of my obsession with food, calories, and how it's kind of taken over my life in a way. I feel like I'm always thinking about what I eat, how much, and planning out not to go over in my head. I can't really eat anything bad without guilt, unless I really budget for it. Even when I'm under net 1,200 cals, but ate like 1,450 like today because of exercise, I don't feel good about it.

Anyways, we were talking about that, and my boyfriend told me that I looked great. He said that I looked fine before, but I looked good. He told me I didn't need to lose another ounce, because I was there. I don't think that way though and I don't see that or believe that. Part of me wants to say, YES, ok, and maintain from here. But I still feel like I look a bit fat. I still have a flabby stomach. I'm not sure it will ever go away. I could go down a few more pounds, which is what I think I might do, but at that range, I'll be getting pretty low. I've seen what the loss of 11 lbs looks like on my stomach, and I don't think 3 or 4 is going to get me how I want it to look. If I keep working out and eating healthy, but more towards maintenance cals, do you think the stomach flab will go away eventually? I'm just concerned I'm never going to be satisfied. I just don't know if my body was meant to look like those other girls..

Thanks for any help

nickscutie · September 2011

If you are not already doing strength training you should start. I think it will make a big difference for you in the way you look, at this point you want to tone up so you are not skinny and "soft".

I did this towards the end of my weight loss and it really helped, and it also helped me lose a few pounds more than I was planning to.

I can also relate about the somewhat obsessive nature of this game, I don't have any good advice though. I just try not to let myself get out of hand and when I know I am being ridiculous, just tell myself to stop it already and eat or don't.

Good luck.

sc1572 · September 2011

You sound like me...I feel like good enough is never good enough. Feel free to friend me! But definitely maintain your same workout routine, and add in some strength training.

I try to net 1200 cals but it doesn't always work!

LivLovLrn · September 2011

I am thinking you are probably thinner than you think. I was thin most of my life until I gained weight the past few years. I cannot believe that I could have EVER thought I was fat before (and I did). I have not lost all my weight, but am pretty happy with my size right now, would be satisfied with where I am at to by my maintenance weight. So I am saying you would probably be good staying with maintenance. I am glad you are keeping a watch out for yourself and eating disorders because I think it is a fine line

alaw1119 · September 2011

wow I feel the exact same! I obsess over everything I eat and it has seriously taken over my life. My boyfriend says the same thing but I don't feel like I look that good. I don't know what to do about it. The thought of gaining weight makes me sick. I weigh every morning and get upset if I have even the slightest gain.

infamousmk · September 2011

If you really are worried about how you view food, and you don't think you're ever going to be satisfied, I would suggest seeking counseling. It can really help you develop a healthy view of yourself and food.

Lleldiranne · September 2011

Women naturally have some stomach "flab" ... it's how we're built. If you've had kids, there's more. It's not all fat - a lot of it can be loose skin and even childbearing organs that aren't as tight as they once were. They slowly do go back to normal, but it takes a few years. So losing pounds may not do anything for it.

Have you had body fat % measured? 20-25% is healthy for women, IIRC. That may give you a better indication than just the scales. Same with neck, waist, thigh measurements (among others). I agree that resistance/strength training should be part of your routine.

It does sound like you're getting a touch obsessive. It may not be the start of an eating disorder, but you want to catch it now anyway (admitting it is a good start). Realize that you are never going to have a perfect body - no one does without the aid of photoshop and airbrushing! Even plastic surgery won't give you a perfect body. It's time to love your body now, no matter what it looks like. If there are areas that need work, it's okay to realize that and work on them, but it's still important to love your body and feel happy in your skin. I would start working on that - even telling yourself every day that your body is beautiful and you are doing the right things to be healthy (which you will be, even on maintenance) can start to change your mindset.

hazelnut861 · September 2011

I looked better at 4 months pregnant than I do now because I was pretty toned so strength training really makes an incredible difference. I think most people that are trying to get in better shape somewhat obsess over calories, exercise and planning food. It's what we do lol. As long as it doesn't interfere with your normal activities your okay. Let your main gopictual be healthy and fit and not a mental picture of what you want to look like. Your body might not shape that way. Appreciate the way your body shapes up when it's healthy. If you feel like your calorie counting and stuff is getting out of hand talk to a counsler. And it's okay to eat back the calories you exercise off; how much is up to you.

kacbldmm07 · September 2011

I have done this weight loss thing four times now, losing 90+ lbs each time. (all from having babies) I think in a way you have to have it take over your life to put it into your brain that you are going to be healthy no matter how many cheese burgers come your way. This way you will stand up and say no im taking the salad. My hjsband makes fun of me because if we decide to eat out I will,be standing in line on my phone looking up their website to see what has the least calories. I dont think its a eating disorder. I will in turn look up what my husband orders and sometimes its like 1200 cal in one meal. Its so easy to get out of control, its made him think twice about eating it all. I understand exactly where your coming from with the I still see things wrong with me. Because when I look back before my last baby I always hated the way this or that looked, but right now I would kill to be that size again. (have 34lbs to go, after losing 62lbs this past year) we will never be totally happy as if you were to talk to the "other girls" there,are a few things they would change about them selves. Do what makes you happy. In the end you look at it live it everyday.

kated930 · September 2011

I finally spilled and told my boyfriend what I've been doing for the last 3 months. He knew that I've gotten into a workout routine and maybe saw a little weight loss but we never really talked about it. The other day, I was concerned I may have a bit of a pre-eating disorder because of my obsession with food, calories, and how it's kind of taken over my life in a way. I feel like I'm always thinking about what I eat, how much, and planning out not to go over in my head. I can't really eat anything bad without guilt, unless I really budget for it. Even when I'm under net 1,200 cals, but ate like 1,450 like today because of exercise, I don't feel good about it.

Anyways, we were talking about that, and my boyfriend told me that I looked great. He said that I looked fine before, but I looked good. He told me I didn't need to lose another ounce, because I was there. I don't think that way though and I don't see that or believe that. Part of me wants to say, YES, ok, and maintain from here. But I still feel like I look a bit fat. I still have a flabby stomach. I'm not sure it will ever go away. I could go down a few more pounds, which is what I think I might do, but at that range, I'll be getting pretty low. I've seen what the loss of 11 lbs looks like on my stomach, and I don't think 3 or 4 is going to get me how I want it to look. If I keep working out and eating healthy, but more towards maintenance cals, do you think the stomach flab will go away eventually? I'm just concerned I'm never going to be satisfied. I just don't know if my body was meant to look like those other girls..

Thanks for any help

I am in this boat too, and I decided to do something about it! I was obsessing constantly, and my boyfriend was saying that he feels like we can't go out to dinner anymore because I refuse to eat anything that's on the menu.

I am CONSTANTLY worrying about food and whether I'll be able to eat a "good choice" food if I am anywhere but my own kitchen. I won't eat anything unless I know the nutritional info first, I am BAD. I went away last weekend with friends and I brought my own food and watched them eat pizza like normal people, and eat chips and crackers like it was no big deal! So I decided I wanted to be normal too!

I called a nutrition counselor, told her what was going on, and I've starting reading the book " The Rules of Normal Eating" It is really good. It describes exactly how I'm thinking, and has me practicing normal eating habits like eating food and not being so guilty about it! I recommend this book, and if you feel like you should, talk to a counselor!

Hope this helps

When is enough enough?

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