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Accountability Buddies - Yay or Nay

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Replies

  • Lafinazadventure
    Lafinazadventure Posts: 1 Member
    Hmmmm. Just a couple thoughts....honed athletes rely on coaches ... people who work with you to take it to the next level. People get trainers...for that individual’s expertise. Teams feed off the energy of each other and push each other to be their best. Accountability partners stand in agreement with each other to a common goal. Always...to each their own. But when we change the things around us change. Finally...where there is resistance there’s a reason. Just something to explore.
  • Cerizez
    Cerizez Posts: 155 Member
    gradchica27 wrote: »
    I haven’t had an official “accountability buddy”, but I do have an IRL BFF that I text with about diet related stuff, and another about exercise. The diet BFF and I text every morning with our scale ups and downs when we’re trying to lose. We text throughout the day about being hungry/bored/having someone bring some delicious but not helpful food into the house/etc, and I’ve found telling someone I’m bored and want to eat something or I’m angry and want to rage eat a chocolate egg helps me name what the issue is and not engage in the self defeating behavior. We jokingly remind each other summer is coming and we can’t wear leggings forever, and neither of us really want to try and find new shorts. Having someone to joke about the little struggles with, someone to remind you of the bigger goal, and someone to commiserate about hormonal bloat has definitely made the whole process a bit more enjoyable and less lonely.

    My other friend and I text less frequently, but we check in about how our quarantine exercise is going and share any new PRs or achievements, which is nice. Most people don’t care or realize how long I’ve been working to move up from 20s to 25s on hammer curls, or when I hit a new deadlift PR, but she gets it and I like sharing her wins as wel.

    This!! It's the companionship and support of sharing goals and successes.
  • irishsalt
    irishsalt Posts: 8 Member
    panda4153 wrote: »
    Don’t get me wrong I am all about support, I will cheer you on when you hit your goals, and when you need a pick me up. I will also be honest about what might be holding you back if you ask me. But I am not accountable for your goals, you are.

    This is exactly what I expect from an accountability buddy. For me, if I have no friends on MFP, it's easy for me to quit because no one would know and no one would care. I like the idea of supporting others and seeing their records on my newsfeed helps me feel motivated. I don't expect them to act like a motivational coach or anything, I just like feeling less alone and being able to support others in their journey.

  • Shortgirlrunning
    Shortgirlrunning Posts: 1,020 Member
    I find it helpful for exercise more than diet. If a friend is doing a run with me, I’m a lot less likely to skip the run. It’s not so much that they are accountable for if I do my run or not - if I don’t do it that’s on me - but knowing their expecting me and counting on me to show up makes me want to do better.

    In my perspective, accountability buddies aren’t accountable for me reaching my goals, it’s a person besides myself I’m accountable to.
  • thelastnightingale
    thelastnightingale Posts: 725 Member
    edited May 2020
    To me, an accountability buddy is someone who is going to look at your diary and ask you some pretty nasty-feeling questions. That takes a huge amount of work on their part, and the possible judgement means you're less likely to be honest with yourself about what you're logging.

    There are some days I think I'd like an accountability buddy, there are others when I remember that I don't need another barrier to logging honestly. I need to stop fooling myself if I have any chance of sorting my life out.

    I also don't understand how some people can have so many accountability buddies and get something out of it - I think you need to agree to share more attention than that.

    Separately, I like logging runs on Strava - giving and receiving kudos and comments on that platform is helpful, but doesn't have the same pressure.
  • SnifterPug
    SnifterPug Posts: 746 Member
    Doesn't work for me. I control me, and if I don't that's down to me.

    For a while my husband and I thought it would be good to act as accountability buddies for each other so that we would go to the gym more often (this is before my love affair with the gym started). But it was too easy for one to come up with an excuse and the other would just fall in with that. Now if my husband says he doesn't feel like going I go by myself. I think that approach probably makes him go more often than he would left to his own devices, but I refuse to be the arbiter of his exercise or lack of.

    That said, I employ a PT and have done for some years now. That is to get ideas, have someone to nerd out with on fitness subjects, and to have someone check my form. Not for motivation.
  • threewins
    threewins Posts: 1,455 Member
    I find weight loss a solitary exercise. Everyone is on a different path. I'd like to have a weight loss buddy but there is one little problem. Almost everyone is useless at being a weight loss buddy, in my opinion. I've had at least 15 in the last 3 years. Some don't last 24 hours, I'd say that the average was 1-2 weeks. 2-3 lasted more than 6 weeks. I'm not perfect, I went dark for two buddies.

    I've almost given up on finding one. I agree with OP that accountability buddies aren't really useful, you can't really be accountable to pixels on your phone.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    Lynnsgoals2020 wrote: »
    I've learned I am accountable to nobody but myself.

    That said, it's nice to have MFP and the community to help cheer you on and support you when/if you need it.

    I think getting information/support/cheerleading is different from accountability. I have no use for cheerleading but with so much false facts floating around it is good to have people you can trust to try and give you proper direction.

    Some programs like weight watchers and T.O.P.S. have a weekly weigh-in accountability system but from my experience it seems to lose its impact after a time. Many of the members I know of that have been going for a long time are basically maintenance eaters that gain and lose water weight for years and years. I remember one woman who had been in the program for 25 years and was still trying to finish losing her weight. I guess you could argue that without the program she might have regained a bunch of it but while I do not mind taking it slow I would be quite fatigued if I was mentally trying to lose weight for a quarter century.
  • Fit_Chef_NE
    Fit_Chef_NE Posts: 110 Member
    If you were lying to yourself before, what's going to stop you from lying to your friend? If it works, good for you. I try to have accountability within myself so that I won't have the excuse of other people slacking to keep me from going to the gym. I have heard way too many people use friends as an excuse. ie: "I used to go to the gym three times a week, but Judy had surgery in March and stopped going, so.." It just seems like a new way to come up with rational sounding reasons to skip the work.
  • Fit_Chef_NE
    Fit_Chef_NE Posts: 110 Member
    I should add that there is nothing wrong with having a friend or group to workout with and talk to. But if you rely on them too much, it can become a crutch. Fitness and health is an individual journey and everyone gets there at their own pace. Sometimes comparison can ruin your happiness with your own progress.
  • steph6556
    steph6556 Posts: 575 Member
    Yikes, I’m wayyyy too much of an introvert for accountability buddies, gym mates, meet ups, basically anything involving anyone else I have to deal with for exercise or diet! I know how to control my calories by looking at MFP and adjusting, and when I go up or down, do I really need someone chiming in about more protein, etc? The last thing I want is to have to meet someone for a run bc that’s when I like to tune everyone the hell out! And going to the gym with someone is just a complete distraction since they’ll want to TALK during my workout, which is annoying!! Like I said, introvert! I’m happy that others are encouraged by people commenting on their diaries and going to the gym with buddies so I’m not judging anyone if they like those things. For me it’s just distracting and annoying to have someone to be accountable to for what I eat and how I exercise! Happy day 😏
  • IAMFFL
    IAMFFL Posts: 58 Member
    edited November 2020
    Personally, I prefer to hold myself accountable as no one knows me better than I know myself. As long as I'm honest with myself then it works well towards achieving goals. I also prefer to workout alone. I like to follow specific programs, strict rest periods etc. I also like to get in and get out. Too often the gym becomes a sort of social hour and I don't have that kind of time. Of course if needed it doesn't hurt to have a support system or a gym buddy but you should mainly rely on yourself when working towards your fitness goals.
  • MsCzar
    MsCzar Posts: 1,039 Member
    I'm pretty self-contained and wouldn't want an AB. But I do love reading through the discussions here at MFP. I've used MFP for ages, but have only recently toe-dipped into the community discussions. Learning a lot!

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