So, why are you here again, and why will this be the last time?

Yes, @Elphaba1313! That's what I'm talking about! Well done for being SO brave and writing that down. I'm sure it must have been hard to put that into words, but you've identified what is sabotaging your weight and knowledge is power. You've taken the power back. I really hope you find the right professional to help support you through your feelings, so you can break the cycle and get your weight permanently under control.

@Samitogordito The more you learn about your own body, the better. No one ever gets this weight loss journey completely right, the key thing is to find your motivation and hold onto it. Wanting to lessen the strain on your body is a solid reason - hold onto that for all the difficult times. You're doing this for your health.

@Diatonic12 I totally agree, believing there is an end has got me before. When I get to my goal this time, I'm not going to get complacent and start ignoring MFP. I've started to see this like an addiction and take it more seriously. An alcoholic never stops being an alcoholic, they just become a recovering alcoholic who has their *kitten* together. When I hit goal, I need to remember I can't live 'normally', I have to be mindful of all my triggers and avoid them for the rest of my life. It will be a small price to pay.

@Pogostickers Preach - I'd love the extra energy that not carrying around the extra weight will bring!

@Xiaolongbao But why do you always lose, maintain and gain? Does something set you off? Do you get bored/complacent and have the weight drift back up? We don't put the weight back on for no reason - there's always a reason. I believe if we can reflect on what that truth is - it could be something big, it could be something seemingly trivial, but it's our individual truth - and find our real motivation - and it doesn't have to be noble, it could be really petty - we are setting ourselves up for success.

There are always going to be bumps along the road, life isn't perfect. But I do think we can make life a lot easier for ourselves by understanding why we end up being pulled back into this circle each time. For example, I know I'm quite calm externally and people always think I have it together, but I eat my feelings. I'm prepared to come across as less together and to admit more when I'm struggling emotionally as I think bottling things up has not been good for my weight.

@nanamerriman2020 Complacency is such a kicker. I agree - if we were good at knowing how many calories were in portions, we wouldn't have put on weight in the first place. Logging is something we'll have to make our peace with - it's not just a tool for weight loss, it's a tool to retaining that weight loss. My mother will tell me I'm fat and then in the same breath offer me lots of calorie-laden food - I can say no. Food isn't love. I don't need to be fed to know I am loved.

Yes @CM_73! This is so simple and so genius - I hope everyone has read your words and really thought about them. It's so easy to let one slip up derail everything, but you're prepared not to let a slip up send you into a spiral. I think that's so amazing, well done you.

@hollybod I'm so sorry you're in that place right now, it doesn't sound fun. Honestly, from personal experience, I think you need to bin off the issue of how your husband feels about your weight. Whatever happens to your marriage, your weight won't save/destroy it. Separately, you don't feel quite right and you don't feel confident - you need to work on your weight for you. It will have the side effect of working for your husband, but that can't be the main reason for doing this. If we put pressure on ourselves to look good for other people, it can be really hard to stay motivated - I mean, every time you have a fight, you put yourself at risk of binging to punish them. And the person who really suffers in that scenario is you, because it's your body.

If you don't feel confident, getting back in shape will be great for that. Think about how hitting your goal weight will feel - you'll have more energy, your clothes will fit better, you'll feel more attractive. Make that your motivation.

@crispaholicshaz Preach - sometimes it can feel like everything is against us. That's why it's so important to be our own cheerleaders, because we know we can always support ourselves, even if the universe doesn't want to play ball. I hear your struggles, I hear how tough it is. But you can do this anyway, you can ignore all the things holding you back and you can do this for yourself. I promise, you're tougher than that you think.