So, why are you here again, and why will this be the last time?
thelastnightingale
Posts: 725 Member
What the title says, really.
For me, food has the following associations:
- a treat (something to celebrate)
- a crutch (something I eat if I am unhappy or stressed)
- a barrier (if I'm fatter, people will leave me alone)
- something to do (if I'm bored, I can eat mindlessly)
I recognise all the above. Now, I'm OK with food being a treat, as everything in moderation is fine, and I'm trying to be much more aware of my body, so I only eat if I'm hungry, not if I'm bored. However, the other two are bigger things I know I need to work on to break the yo yo cycle - I can't eat my feelings anymore. These are things I know I have to tackle and I am finally being honest about that.
What about you? What brought you back here, and what are you doing to avoid staying caught in an endless loop of lose, maintain, gain?
Maybe if we write down our truths we can hold ourselves accountable and make this our last rodeo.
Your turn.
For me, food has the following associations:
- a treat (something to celebrate)
- a crutch (something I eat if I am unhappy or stressed)
- a barrier (if I'm fatter, people will leave me alone)
- something to do (if I'm bored, I can eat mindlessly)
I recognise all the above. Now, I'm OK with food being a treat, as everything in moderation is fine, and I'm trying to be much more aware of my body, so I only eat if I'm hungry, not if I'm bored. However, the other two are bigger things I know I need to work on to break the yo yo cycle - I can't eat my feelings anymore. These are things I know I have to tackle and I am finally being honest about that.
What about you? What brought you back here, and what are you doing to avoid staying caught in an endless loop of lose, maintain, gain?
Maybe if we write down our truths we can hold ourselves accountable and make this our last rodeo.
Your turn.
6
Replies
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I joined again this morning because I am finally sick enough of the health problems that are caused by being this heavy and realizing that I am going to have a miserable life in old age if I don't do something.11
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I joined again this morning because I am finally sick enough of the health problems that are caused by being this heavy and realizing that I am going to have a miserable life in old age if I don't do something.
Deciding to take your health more seriously is a really powerful reason - welcome back, and well done on finding your motivation.3 -
Lost 2.5stone last time, but got overly confident guessing portions, stopped logging, slowly my portions grew & then stuck in Lockdown Homeschooling, were not getting much time to do anything else. So I am back to where I was 4yrs ago... Now weigh 13 stone, but I am only 5'3" so I am short and round.... Feel so uncomfortable, my gall bladder is struggling & got indigestion all the time, None of my clothes fit, I am living in PJ's, or sun dresses, Look & feel 9month pregnant..( which I am Not) So starting a fresh today, Trying to motivate myself, Logging isn't easy because my phone broke & 1borrowed from my mum, is only able to make calls or send texts, so log by adding calories with pen & paper then log just how many calories, I've used.. Then mfp has an error, and fails to load... Sometimes feels everything is against ya... Good Luck all..6
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I am here because I am not feeling good in myself I am tired and moody and lack confidence. I came on here 7 years ago and lost 2.5 stone. Since then I have had 2 children and my weight has yo yo every since. I am now back to my stating weight again It’s effecting my relationship with husband as I know he’s not as attracted to me. He has said so that I need to loose weight and he’s right. I am on day 3 again and all I want to do is eat junk. Struggling to stay motivated.9
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What's different for me this time is that I'm preparing to fail.
I will slip up, it's OK to slip up but I will not let it derail me.16 -
I reached maintenance and stayed there a long while.
I'm back because I got lazy/stopped tracking/stopped using MFP. I reached the point where clothes were not fitting. I know (and knew before) that to some extent food tracking will always be a part of my life - but I still let it slide. I make no promises about the future, but am feeling good about my current efforts.
I share my goals with family, friends. I give myself permission to say no thanks to food offers and don't feel obligated to have something just because someone offers it. In this society and in many families: that is NOT easy. I realize this is for me, and I am the one to suffer when I don't take care of myself.5 -
Honestly it probably won’t be the last time. I will probably struggle with my weight the rest of my life. I could pretend that I’ll just stay here forever but that’s unlikely.
So the best scenario is I lose weight. Maintain for a decent amount of time and then when I start to gain again I nip it in the bud and come back BEFORE I do too much damage.
I could live with that.12 -
There's no such thing as the Finish Line. It's the Hit the Pause Button mentality that will get you.
I used to belong to a weight loss club but I'm not really a club member of anything. I didn't want to let the weight loss club define me. I looked at the same people sitting on the same stools ending up exactly where they started after decades of trying to reach their dream weight. I'm not going out like that.
Diets are now a mind warp for me. I joined MFP and left all of that dieting dogma in the dust.
I started fighting for the causes that do define me. I rail against diabetes because it seems so patently unfair in the way it really messes with lives.
I fight for myself, my overall health and wellbeing. I will not be deterred. In the back of mind and deep down in my heart there's a passion for people. I care. I sure do.
I love to decorate and sing as I'm tooling along. Post songs and photos. That's just the way I roll.4 -
Always been in the battle of the bulge but now I feel I've learned a lot about my hunger cues/cravings during this isolation, I'm still not 100% on track with the nutrition but I feel like I'm no longer stumped by it, as for a reason to lose weight, generally to look and feel better and to lessen the strain on my body (both feet are dropped due to GBS at an early age)
Weight I started to get serious about it 280
Currently 218 I'm rooting for me and rooting for you all to meet your goals! ( Still got like 50-60 more lbs to lose)6 -
I have not dealt with the psychological issues of being diagnosed with a chronic illness for which there is no cure. I have coped with my inability to move as much as I used to, by going back to old eating habits and drinking too much wine, with little way to exercise it off. I have regained the 15 kilos I lost to try and get my health under control.
This will be the last time for me because I am going to get help from a professional to deal with my feelings/grief around my diagnosis with ways other than food and alcohol, because if I don't , I will die young. I have a good job and a loving family and so there is no excuse for me to not try and help myself. I am giving up the "victim mentality" I have had for the past year.
This is the first time I have said all of that out loud to anyone except my GP last week. It actually feels liberating.9 -
Yes, @Elphaba1313! That's what I'm talking about! Well done for being SO brave and writing that down. I'm sure it must have been hard to put that into words, but you've identified what is sabotaging your weight and knowledge is power. You've taken the power back. I really hope you find the right professional to help support you through your feelings, so you can break the cycle and get your weight permanently under control.
@Samitogordito The more you learn about your own body, the better. No one ever gets this weight loss journey completely right, the key thing is to find your motivation and hold onto it. Wanting to lessen the strain on your body is a solid reason - hold onto that for all the difficult times. You're doing this for your health.
@Diatonic12 I totally agree, believing there is an end has got me before. When I get to my goal this time, I'm not going to get complacent and start ignoring MFP. I've started to see this like an addiction and take it more seriously. An alcoholic never stops being an alcoholic, they just become a recovering alcoholic who has their *kitten* together. When I hit goal, I need to remember I can't live 'normally', I have to be mindful of all my triggers and avoid them for the rest of my life. It will be a small price to pay.
@Pogostickers Preach - I'd love the extra energy that not carrying around the extra weight will bring!
@Xiaolongbao But why do you always lose, maintain and gain? Does something set you off? Do you get bored/complacent and have the weight drift back up? We don't put the weight back on for no reason - there's always a reason. I believe if we can reflect on what that truth is - it could be something big, it could be something seemingly trivial, but it's our individual truth - and find our real motivation - and it doesn't have to be noble, it could be really petty - we are setting ourselves up for success.
There are always going to be bumps along the road, life isn't perfect. But I do think we can make life a lot easier for ourselves by understanding why we end up being pulled back into this circle each time. For example, I know I'm quite calm externally and people always think I have it together, but I eat my feelings. I'm prepared to come across as less together and to admit more when I'm struggling emotionally as I think bottling things up has not been good for my weight.
@nanamerriman2020 Complacency is such a kicker. I agree - if we were good at knowing how many calories were in portions, we wouldn't have put on weight in the first place. Logging is something we'll have to make our peace with - it's not just a tool for weight loss, it's a tool to retaining that weight loss. My mother will tell me I'm fat and then in the same breath offer me lots of calorie-laden food - I can say no. Food isn't love. I don't need to be fed to know I am loved.
Yes @CM_73! This is so simple and so genius - I hope everyone has read your words and really thought about them. It's so easy to let one slip up derail everything, but you're prepared not to let a slip up send you into a spiral. I think that's so amazing, well done you.
@hollybod I'm so sorry you're in that place right now, it doesn't sound fun. Honestly, from personal experience, I think you need to bin off the issue of how your husband feels about your weight. Whatever happens to your marriage, your weight won't save/destroy it. Separately, you don't feel quite right and you don't feel confident - you need to work on your weight for you. It will have the side effect of working for your husband, but that can't be the main reason for doing this. If we put pressure on ourselves to look good for other people, it can be really hard to stay motivated - I mean, every time you have a fight, you put yourself at risk of binging to punish them. And the person who really suffers in that scenario is you, because it's your body.
If you don't feel confident, getting back in shape will be great for that. Think about how hitting your goal weight will feel - you'll have more energy, your clothes will fit better, you'll feel more attractive. Make that your motivation.
@crispaholicshaz Preach - sometimes it can feel like everything is against us. That's why it's so important to be our own cheerleaders, because we know we can always support ourselves, even if the universe doesn't want to play ball. I hear your struggles, I hear how tough it is. But you can do this anyway, you can ignore all the things holding you back and you can do this for yourself. I promise, you're tougher than that you think.9 -
Why did the mind allow you to eat until you reached the highest weight you've ever been. Why didn't the mind stop you, not one single time during the eating it all back excursion and say, stop and look around. Let's reassess what's going down.
With every passing month and year that goes by the ground grows colder. Why didn't the mind stop you before it allowed rebound weight gain with friends so show right back up on your doorstep.
So many become overconfident once all of the weight releasing is done until they realize how strong the mind and neural pathways really are. Those old grooves in the brain will fight against you. They'll actually encourage you to eat it all back while you're in the unconscious mode on remote control by autopilot.
Why didn't your brain stop you. The brain doesn't really care if you eat it all back. Lack of direction and flying by the seat of your pants won't fix the brain. Your brain needs to implement a strategy you can live with for the rest of your life.
It can't be a plan filled with the Shock and Awe Approach to food. All or Nothing Thinking. It doesn't last and it doesn't work. When was the last time you were at your dream weight. How long were you able to toe that line.
The brain won't quit fighting against you until a couple of years or even 5 years after you've reached your dream weight. It requires focus and direction but not food restriction to find long term stability with your weight.2 -
@Diatonic12 I know for me, watching my weight went from something important to something that didn't really matter (because I'd hit goal). The weight crept back on slowly, and because of that, I didn't take it seriously. The amounts weren't big at all each time, but I didn't keep an eye on the cumulative effect, and that's what really got me. I took my eye off the wheel through complacency. Lesson learnt.
Eventually, my weight was so far down my priorities list I didn't even notice what was going on at all, and when things went wrong in my life, I reverted to using food as a crutch without any part of my brain registering this was a bad idea.
Letting myself autopilot when it comes to food doesn't work for me. I need to be more aware of what I'm doing and retrain myself to pick up the phone and call a friend when I'm sad, rather than reaching for something unhealthy. Rationally, I know I'm there for my friends and they offer repeatedly to repay the favour, so I have to learn to accept more help. Don't bottle up sadness, don't lock away grief - talk it out until the compulsion to stuff my face is gone. Easier said than done, I know. But this thread is all about honesty, and admitting the things that we know we need to change, as writing them down makes us personally more accountable.
I'm always going to need some food restriction in my life because I have no willpower over certain foods and I am physically capable of eating after I'm full and then some. (Worst special talent, ever.) Some restriction isn't bad - I mean, I have allergies, so I'm used to restricting 100% of certain foods to save my life. This is a similar principle - obesity can kill. Removing the triggers that push me towards obesity will benefit me in the long-term.
There are plenty of things I don't need to restrict that mean I can still lead a healthy, varied diet with plenty of enjoyable meals - no doctor is going to get upset about me cutting out certain brand names when I'll still eat other brand names, for example. I just know from experience which things have a hold over me due to childhood associations.
Sleepwalking through weight isn't an option - we have to be more alert, we have to recognise and forgive our own flaws, and we have to live our best lives. I feel like this is the first time I've really understood and believed what it means to change your mindset to change your life. It's not going to happen overnight, no matter how many accountable messages I write, but at least I now know what I'm really working towards. It's not just taking back control of the calories, it's about taking back control of how I deal with negative emotions.
Much love to everyone who has posted so far to admit what they are working to change. I really believe admitting this is the first step to us all conquering our demons. The weight might be the most visible part of our battle but it's not always the main part.3 -
thelastnightingale wrote: »@Xiaolongbao But why do you always lose, maintain and gain? Does something set you off? Do you get bored/complacent and have the weight drift back up? We don't put the weight back on for no reason - there's always a reason. I believe if we can reflect on what that truth is - it could be something big, it could be something seemingly trivial, but it's our individual truth - and find our real motivation - and it doesn't have to be noble, it could be really petty - we are setting ourselves up for success.
Not sure I agree with you here. I think some of us just tend towards being overweight. It's like pets. I'm sure we all know that some pets you can make us much food as you want available. They'll self-regulate and stay a healthy weight. Others you have to closely monitor or they put on weight at every opportunity. I don't think there needs to be some reason for putting weight back on (other than it's my natural tendency). So it takes a lot of work to lose weight and I really have to be able to focus on it. Once I stop making it a focus my weight drifts back up until I am in a place where I have the time/energy to make it a focus.
I guess you could define that as getting bored/complacent but I don't really think that's it.
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Domesticated pets have diseases, too. Diabetes, heart disease, cancer and others. Genetics. Boredom is a big factor for pet obesity. In the wild kingdom you don't see don't see obesity until those critters are placed in a zoo. It's not really fun or natural for an animal to be kept inside of a house without ever seeing the light of day. They do become depressed.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4636368/1 -
It's human nature to go right back to the food protocol that gave you the greatest benefits aka weight loss. Shock and Awe/All or Nothing Approach to food, restricting certain food groups and food triggers. If it didn't last the first go around it's time to implement a strategy that will work.
Why the hows are nice to know you also need to know the whys to find long term weight stability. Gummy bears used to be a food trigger for me but I have learned how to moderate myself with them. I can have some every single day if I want to. Depriving myself of them and restricting them didn't work in the long run.
Doing what we've always done will get us what we've always gotten. Thinking this is going to be my last rodeo and this is my last time will only dig you into a deeper hole with food.
Rebound weight gain with friends. Sux.
There's only choices and consequences. To fall right back into thinking that you must restrict all the things will fall apart at some particular point. You may be able to keep up that vigilance for a couple of years or even five but at some time all of that restriction has diminishing returns.
A recent British study of over 170,000 people found that the chances of achieving even a 5% weight loss were 1 in 7 for severely obese women and 1 in 8 for severely obese men. The chances of attaining a normal weight were 1 in 210 for obese men and 1 in 124 for obese women.
We have to face the hard questions. There is no bandwagon. There is no last rodeo. We have a brand new meal coming around the corner every few hours. If you need a new beginning or clean slate just readjust your dials. Use your new meal to UP your game but don't restrict the things you love.
Track your data points. MFP is subtle. It's not in your face. It doesn't police your food or thoughts.
MFP lets you do everything on your own terms. That's a good fit for me.1 -
I am here again because I simply need to get rid of this excess weight that is bogging me down. I genuinely feel worse with it on my body. I've successfully done this before. Add to the statistic. I gained it all back.
This will be my last time because I need to once and for all take responsibility for my day to day.3 -
I’m here again because I got really far last time then God and life had other plans and I lost focus. I lost my support network in the last year so this will be harder but I’m depending on the kindness - and a kick in the butt! - of strangers!
CW-265
Short term goal: 250 by Sept 1
GW-1453 -
I'm here because I'm not comfortable in my body at all. Have been losing and regaining the same weight over and over but have stuck with things much longer than usual this time around. I'm hopeful some of the changes are starting to stick. 🤞
If anyone wants to be friends I'd be more than happy 🙂4 -
Sdgbta- I’d welcome a friend!0
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I have two yorkies....bother and sister from the same litter.. she is a little piggy.. she even snorts looking around for food...she would eat endlessly if she could and she eats up every single crumb on the floors. My little boy, I have to trick him to eat..he is skinny and I worry about him constantly.. he eats half of his foods and leaves it. Even when he does start eating well.. he stays thin... I have to watch her weight all the time..she's my little chubby girl. This is life...and this is why it is easy for some..and so hard for others.0
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Well, I can’t really say I’m back, because I never left, I suspect I will need to count calories and measure servings forever. Wether I am in lose mode or maintenance mode. I’ve been in both over the last 7 years. I have not made it to my ultimate goal weight yet, but I take maintenance breaks when I need them or want them. Even when. I get to my goal weight I know I will still need to track. I have a HUGE appetite and I can eat an impressive amount of food if I am not tracking. Some days I really wish I could be the “I just can’t eat all my calories” person. Instead I’ll eat all of mine and that person’s lol. So for me logging and tracking is a lifelong tool I will use to stay on track.3
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Hi all!
If any of you would like to try the team approach to getting through this crazy time with a wonderful group of people, take a look at the Fat2Fit Challenge. This group has been running for many years, and the community spirit on the teams is both supportive and effective. There is accountability (weekly weigh-ins, team chats, getting in there to share and help your team), all kinds of fun challenges, and general helpful friendship. There is space on a couple of the teams for some new members, so come check it out!
General info page:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/114605-fat-2-fit-weight-loss-challenge-and-support-group
Registration for July:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10801389/july-2020-f2f-registration-for-new-members#latest
Give it a try if you want some real encouragement and success! The pandemic is a challenge, and we are all in there working through this together.0 -
I am back because my mental heath and physical health will finally let me get back to it. This time around I can workout. Not just count calories. I haven't been happy with my self image for some time now. Its time for a change!2
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I am here again because I want to take control of my health (again). This time around my goal is to help make myself aware of what I am putting into my body instead of simply limiting calories. Calorie counting, while very insightful, can turn food into something taboo - which does not make for a healthy relationship with the energy I need.
Feel free to add me as a friend.
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I am here because I have started a new "diet" or way of eating hundreds of times. Every Monday morning for the last 17 years (since my last baby was born). I failed each time. Usually because I was trying something too restrictive, or I got overconfident and thought "I can do this without tracking. I know how to eat right now (after I'd tracked and ate more veggies for ONE WEEK)." and then it goes south from there. But the difference is, ALL THOSE TIMES I WAS TRYING TO LOSE FOR VANITY REASONS. I WANTED TO LOOK BETTER. Now, I'm wanting to take control of my health. I have two kids (17 and 19) and I shudder to think that if I don't take care of myself I won't be able to be there for my grandchildren someday or worse MY KIDs WILL HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ME. When the thought hit me that I could be a burden to them someday~ it was a huge wake up call. That was a month ago and i'm all in now.
I'm also being MUCH more realistic about how I'm going about this that I did before. I am eating healthier than ever, but I'm also eating treats in moderation. And more protein. I'm so excited about what the future holds.2 -
I'm back again! Was doing really well last year and then stopped logging in November. Covid happened and I have now gained back about 10 pounds. Weight is now back up to 177 pounds....my goal is to reach 150 so back to logging my food and reading through the comments on this site for motivation.0
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I'm really impressed by all your pledges, especially where you've decided you're doing this again for your health, like @avtlove. Trying to get healthier (even if that's just losing the weight, rather than working out) is such a powerful goal. Our bodies will be much happier when they don't have to work so hard from the extra strain of all the extra weight we're carrying.
I had a bit of a wobble today, then reminded myself why I was doing this, and managed to stay on the straight and narrow. We're all capable of eating sensibly and managing our weight, we just have to keep reminding ourselves of that.1
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