For those "pro hcg" please don't bother reading.

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kenzietea
kenzietea Posts: 614 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
My best friend just started this diet. Like many who have done hcg (I said many, not all), he has only spoken with doctors and nurses that are endorsing the expensive diet. When he told me he was doing this, I was worried and told him my fears. I gave him my opinion without trying to ostracize him, but apparently I failed or he just didn't want to listen, or maybe a part of him knew I was right. I tried telling him the basics, but his personality type is always looking for a quick fix. Does anyone have advice as to what I can do to mend my current situation? Because as of the last time we spoke (which was this particular conversation about hcg) he hasn't spoken to me since. I am pretty sure he is really mad even though I just told him I was worried and sent him a few articles. Any advice as to what I can say to him? Thanks :)
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Replies

  • Laceylala
    Laceylala Posts: 3,094 Member
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    How about simply telling him that you're sorry you offended him, that wasn't your intentions and after this day you won't mention his choice to HCG again? Simple as that.
  • kenzietea
    kenzietea Posts: 614 Member
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    How about simply telling him that you're sorry you offended him, that wasn't your intentions and after this day you won't mention his choice to HCG again? Simple as that.

    Hah, if only it was that easy. He is kind of like a girl in some ways, he hold grudges and has trouble letting things go. I said that in the very conversation, and it ISN'T as simple as that. Which is exactly why I am asking advice.
  • RedneckWmn
    RedneckWmn Posts: 3,202 Member
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    How about simply telling him that you're sorry you offended him, that wasn't your intentions and after this day you won't mention his choice to HCG again? Simple as that.

    I agree! Just be honest and tell him you are sorry if you offened him but everybody is entitled to their own opinion and you were just worried about him. He shouldn't be that upset with you for just being worried. Tell him you will support and care for him no matter what.
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
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    How about simply telling him that you're sorry you offended him, that wasn't your intentions and after this day you won't mention his choice to HCG again? Simple as that.

    Hah, if only it was that easy. He is kind of like a girl in some ways, he hold grudges and has trouble letting things go. I said that in the very conversation, and it ISN'T as simple as that. Which is exactly why I am asking advice.

    Then there's nothing else you can do. It's not up to you to monitor his tantrum. He'll either come around or he won't. He's an adult, not a child to be coddled.

    Sounds harsh, but it's true.

    You're fine. Just live your life and wait it out.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    I did not know that HCG was for men as well. the drops they give you have pregnancy hormones in them, why would any guy take that, or why would a doctor suggest it (must get paid by the HCG companies).

    To your question, I don't know what to tell you.
  • MissMaryMac33
    MissMaryMac33 Posts: 1,433 Member
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    This is no different really than people telling you carbs are the devil, artificial sweeteners are the devil etc... and linking you articles all day (and in the forums). If someone decides they want to try it --- its unlikely anyone is going to change their mind -- worried or not. You said your peace ---its in his head --- now you just have to wait.

    This reminds me of the many many years people tried to get me to quit smoking....
    Not gonna happen until he's ready to listen -- or finally reads/sees something that gives him an "aha" moment. I'm glad i had one -- but I wish I didn't take 25 years :)

    Hopefully he will not be harmed by this ... (ps I agree with you completely)
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    Honestly, once you apologize, the ball is in his court. If he wants to be a *kitten* after his friend showed concern, and then apologized for hurting his feelings, he's going to find himself full of pregnant lady pee, still fat, and friendless in no time.
  • epj78
    epj78 Posts: 643 Member
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    Sometimes you have to fall on your sword.

    Just tell him you were projecting what works for you onto him, and you realize different things work for different people and you were wrong to try to guilt him into your way. Then tell him that you'll support him anyway possible or never talk of weight loss again - up to him.

    Sure, you may not believe it, but sometimes that is what it takes to mend fences. Or, another way to look at it is that you still think you are right regarding the diet, but realize you shouldn't have told him so.
  • winstonh
    winstonh Posts: 48
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    I'm an old man so trust me that if you felt your original talk was on the level, honest, you conveyed genuine concern and he still is being defensive then there's probably nothing more you can do. Besides, he'll probably figure it out on his own.
  • azlady7
    azlady7 Posts: 471 Member
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    [/quote]

    "Then there's nothing else you can do. It's not up to you to monitor his tantrum. He'll either come around or he won't. He's an adult, not a child to be coddled.

    Sounds harsh, but it's true.

    You're fine. Just live your life and wait it out."
    [/quote]

    i like you :) sounds like something i would say hehe :D
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
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    Then there's nothing else you can do. It's not up to you to monitor his tantrum. He'll either come around or he won't. He's an adult, not a child to be coddled.

    Sounds harsh, but it's true.

    Pretty much. If you apologize and someone is so childish that it's "not good enough" then that's ALL on them. If he can't respect you enough to accept your apology why would you want to kiss his *kitten* to get back in his good graces?
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
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    How about simply telling him that you're sorry you offended him, that wasn't your intentions and after this day you won't mention his choice to HCG again? Simple as that.

    Hah, if only it was that easy. He is kind of like a girl in some ways, he hold grudges and has trouble letting things go. I said that in the very conversation, and it ISN'T as simple as that. Which is exactly why I am asking advice.

    Then there's nothing else you can do. It's not up to you to monitor his tantrum. He'll either come around or he won't. He's an adult, not a child to be coddled.

    Sounds harsh, but it's true.

    You're fine. Just live your life and wait it out.

    I agree, you've already done all you can to make the situation better. If he doesn't want to accept your apology right now that's his problem, not yours.

    I know it's frustrating because you're his friend and your relationship is strained right now. But you've apologized, now you just need to let him come around on his own. If you try to push it by apologizing again or talking about it more chances are he's only going to get more upset.
  • ChantalGG
    ChantalGG Posts: 2,404 Member
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    Just be there for him when he needs an exercise or diet partner the next time.
  • kenzietea
    kenzietea Posts: 614 Member
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    This is no different really than people telling you carbs are the devil, artificial sweeteners are the devil etc... and linking you articles all day (and in the forums). If someone decides they want to try it --- its unlikely anyone is going to change their mind -- worried or not. You said your peace ---its in his head --- now you just have to wait.

    This reminds me of the many many years people tried to get me to quit smoking....
    Not gonna happen until he's ready to listen -- or finally reads/sees something that gives him an "aha" moment. I'm glad i had one -- but I wish I didn't take 25 years :)

    Hopefully he will not be harmed by this ... (ps I agree with you completely)

    You are definitely right, one of my biggest downfalls is not keeping my opinion to myself. I knew he wouldn't listen I should have just said "oh, okay, wish you luck". But I was a fool and blabbed my worries. The silliest part of all of this is that he was losing weight the healthy way and it was consistently coming off. He hits his first plateau after sixty pounds and jumps on the fad diet bandwagon! Aye! But I did apologize, so for those who said the ball is in his court, I suppose you are right. I just hate waiting for someone to come around because I was genuinely sorry. Maybe once he is eating more than 500 calories he won't be so grouchy! lol!
  • ZebraHead
    ZebraHead Posts: 15,207 Member
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    I would walk away. Let him stew in his own juice. But I am an *kitten* and I don't really care about other people anyway. :ohwell:
  • Laceylala
    Laceylala Posts: 3,094 Member
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    I would walk away. Let him stew in his own juice. But I am an *kitten* and I don't really care about other people anyway. :ohwell:
    Liar liar pants on fire !!!

    Only to people you don't know maybe :)
  • ZebraHead
    ZebraHead Posts: 15,207 Member
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    I would walk away. Let him stew in his own juice. But I am an *kitten* and I don't really care about other people anyway. :ohwell:
    Liar liar pants on fire !!!

    Only to people you don't know maybe :)

    Curses foiled again. :laugh:
  • DixiedoesMFP
    DixiedoesMFP Posts: 935 Member
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    If I was only eating 500 calories a day and getting pumped full of pregnancy hormones, I'd probably be in a snit, too! :)

    I think the most important thing is that you be there for him after this fails....without mentioning "I told you so" (and you seem like a mature, caring person so I don't think you would do that) and help him get back on tract the healthy way.
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
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    it's like a cult, I think. HCG'ers seem to isolate themselves from others.

    Their kool-aid is dang scary too.
  • kenzietea
    kenzietea Posts: 614 Member
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    If I was only eating 500 calories a day and getting pumped full of pregnancy hormones, I'd probably be in a snit, too! :)

    I think the most important thing is that you be there for him after this fails....without mentioning "I told you so" (and you seem like a mature, caring person so I don't think you would do that) and help him get back on tract the healthy way.

    Lol I would definitely bite my tongue on the "I told you so" comment. I really DON'T want him to fail!!

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