So Discouraged 😔

Crimson21
Crimson21 Posts: 148 Member
in Motivation and Support
I’m in need of a bit of a pick me up. Today I was getting onto our large unicorn floaty with my 5 year old niece. She proceeded to yell “I don’t want you to bust it Aunty Sydney!”. She again said the same thing a little bit later when I was on it. I asked her why she thought I would bust it. She very carefully thought of her answer and said “because with you and Nora (my 13 month old) on it, it’s heavier” 😒. Obviously my niece thinks I’m a whale. And since kids are brutally honest, I know what she wanted to say was that I’m too fat for it. It was funny, but at the same time, it also hurt. 💔

Replies

  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    Honest from children might hurt, indeed. Be honest with yourself, and it hurts less.
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,170 Member
    I find, with kids, especially my own, its best just to turn it into a joke.
    Kids aren't malicious (I'm not saying you think that either btw) so you gotta see it as, theyre not being mean, they've just made an observation.

    It might have not even been anything to do with your weight but the mere fact you're an adult? So could you have possibly just felt your own insecurity?

    Dont get me wrong I got offended when my kid said something to me, but she looked so confused when she saw how upset and annoyed I looked, i knew then she didn't even know what she said was bad cause its just what they saw?

    But now, I'll just say, well if my butt's so big maybe I can squish YOU with it! And then chase 'em. With kids, you just gotta own it lol
  • tnh2o
    tnh2o Posts: 161 Member
    Years ago when my son was in second grade part of a school assignment was to write down how much your mother weighed (along with height, favorite color, favorite food, etc) He wrote that I weighed 425 pounds! I was mortified, I weighed around 150 Then I asked him how much he thought his very petite teacher weighed. He said 410. I was good. It's all relative.
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,170 Member
    tnh2o wrote: »
    Years ago when my son was in second grade part of a school assignment was to write down how much your mother weighed (along with height, favorite color, favorite food, etc) He wrote that I weighed 425 pounds! I was mortified, I weighed around 150 Then I asked him how much he thought his very petite teacher weighed. He said 410. I was good. It's all relative.

    Hahah "all relative" 😂
  • gewel321
    gewel321 Posts: 718 Member
    While this is very hurtful for you I am sure that is in no means what she was going for. My son did something similar when he was 5. We were at a local amusement park and I asked him if he wanted to ride a roller coaster. He told me that we couldn't because my belly was too big. He wasn't being mean but just factual in his brain. He didn't want me to be embarrassed. I decided that I would get myself together. There would never be a thing that he wanted to do but couldn't because I was fat. Take it as a motivating factor. Next year jump on that damn unicorn with confidence.
  • Xiaolongbao
    Xiaolongbao Posts: 854 Member
    tnh2o wrote: »
    Years ago when my son was in second grade part of a school assignment was to write down how much your mother weighed (along with height, favorite color, favorite food, etc) He wrote that I weighed 425 pounds! I was mortified, I weighed around 150 Then I asked him how much he thought his very petite teacher weighed. He said 410. I was good. It's all relative.

    One of my students once asked me my age (I teach high school). I thought this wasn't appropriate so I lied and said "20" she believed me. So then I said "I'm sorry I was lying, I thought it would be obvious that I'm not 20, I'm actually 65". She was shocked at said "wow, you're older than my parents". Not a glimmer of doubt seemed to enter her mind about either of these statements.

    I was 35 at the time.

    Point is kids can be pretty clueless about anything to do with adults!

    (and after the whole thing with the student I told her my real age but explained that it's often considered an inappropriate kind of question to ask an adult)
  • suzij27
    suzij27 Posts: 199 Member
    She may have been worried about the unicorn floaty and not wanting anyone “big” on it because something could happen to it. So, not about you, about the unicorn.

    Kids can be brutally honest - they tell it like they see it. But to a 5 year old, everyone is heavy if they are bigger than her. I think her wording was very sweet and tactful. Take it how you will. If you heard “heavier” as “fat”, then it gives you something to work on.
  • anna_lowe
    anna_lowe Posts: 39 Member
    ah, i recall my daughter telling me 'i still love you even though you're ugly'.

    hang in there!
  • lauragreenbaum
    lauragreenbaum Posts: 1,017 Member
    Well this ought to make you feel better- several years ago I was in a park with my dog, and a woman with a 3 year old was playing near us. The woman was visibly pregnant. The little girl said "When are you having your baby?" When I told her I wasn't having a baby she said "Then why is your tummy so big?"
  • nanastaci2020
    nanastaci2020 Posts: 1,072 Member
    edited July 2020
    When my oldest was about 3, he asked me to stop singing...
  • lauragreenbaum
    lauragreenbaum Posts: 1,017 Member
    nanamerriman2020 wrote: »
    When my oldest was about 3, he asked me to stop singing...

    That is hilarious.

  • roserex
    roserex Posts: 90 Member
    When my kids were very little they told me I had a belly like jello - it shook when I laughed. So we started calling it jelly belly - I weighed 165 at 5'7. I wish I was that size again without all this hard work. Dieting leads us to being massively overweight - I am making lifestyle changes this time around so I'll never have 75 more pounds to take off again.
  • ZenDream
    ZenDream Posts: 208 Member
    Things like that are difficult to hear. It's feedback and can be utilized as useful information that propels you toward a different direction if you want to make any changes. As others have said, don't be discouraged and don't be down on yourself. It may be a bell that awakens and promotes change.
  • msapplek
    msapplek Posts: 95 Member
    tnh2o wrote: »
    Years ago when my son was in second grade part of a school assignment was to write down how much your mother weighed (along with height, favorite color, favorite food, etc) He wrote that I weighed 425 pounds! I was mortified, I weighed around 150 Then I asked him how much he thought his very petite teacher weighed. He said 410. I was good. It's all relative.

    @tnh2o - That second grade teacher is evil! What a wack assignment to ask for your mom's weight?!? Yeah, I bet she was a petite woman.

  • thelastnightingale
    thelastnightingale Posts: 725 Member
    My niece used to think I was about 120. Years, not pounds.

    Apparently children see how big you are as how old you are. Like we're tree trunks or something, the wider we are, the older we are! Not terribly flattering...

    Children say all kinds of rubbish. Don't take it personally.
  • tnh2o
    tnh2o Posts: 161 Member
    My son's second grade teacher was wonderful. It was part of Mother's Day project. There were no hurt feelings.
    When his brother was about the same age he made me a mother's day card that said he loved me because I was pathetic. Maybe he meant empathetic? I still laugh until I cry because I knew he he had no idea what the word pathetic meant. Once again no hurt feelings.
  • tnh2o
    tnh2o Posts: 161 Member
    edited July 2020
    nanamerriman2020 wrote: »
    When my oldest was about 3, he asked me to stop singing...

    When my son was a baby he would put his little hand over my mouth to get me to stop singing. In his defense I really can't sing. After decades of practice I can sing Happy Birthday and you MIGHT recognize it. He grew up and got a degree in music. But even then he just knew..... (Once again, no hurt feelings)

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