What do you think has seriously held you back?

Bonchilove21
Bonchilove21 Posts: 2 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi, I'm new my name is Vanessa.

I contemplate on this question after losing 85lbs 10 years ago. I have very slowly gained it back within the last 3 years due to some tragic circumstances. Anyway I'm finally finding myself out of the fog with 65 of those lbs back. I feel miserable but at least I don't feel so lost like I did before and I wonder why I held myself back from losing the additional 25lbs to hit my goal.

Honestly I think I got scared of having it all and that idea perplexes me. Anyway what are your thoughts, I'd love to hear.

Replies

  • FatToFitChaser
    FatToFitChaser Posts: 192 Member
    In my case it was not believing in myself that I can do it and secondly not having a real goal and hunger to achieve it.
  • jlizk
    jlizk Posts: 20 Member
    Probably self sabotage, feeling I don't deserve it
  • krabuck
    krabuck Posts: 42 Member
    Feeling overwhelmed with just how much I’d have to lose. Not believing that I could be strong enough to do it. 12 lbs in to my 95 lb goal. Still feeling overwhelmed, but doing it.
  • Shortgirlrunning
    Shortgirlrunning Posts: 1,020 Member
    I feel like I never really wanted it enough the times I tried before. The second it got hard or uncomfortable I just quit. When it really stuck it was genuinely more important to me than all the times I tried before.

    I was also in so much denial about how heavy I really was. When I look back at my pictures of me at my heaviest I’m still shocked, I did not recognize how big I had gotten and how out of control my weight gain was. I haven’t been perfect on my weight loss journey, I’ve stalled and even gained some back at points but looking back at those pictures I know I never want to let it get to that point again and I know how hard I had to work to get here and I don’t really want to do all that again. Now I weigh myself daily and even the times when I’ve been off the wagon I weigh myself at least once a week so I can’t skip back into that denial.
  • hawksgirl229
    hawksgirl229 Posts: 467 Member
    what held me back in the past was buying into quick fixes, fad diets and not looking at this as a lifestyle but a diet. When i truly buckled down years ago I relaxed and didn't set a time frame. I didn't gain overnight and I wasn't going to lose it overnight. When my weight stalled I keep calm and carried on..Its frustrating but I promise the scale will move. I educated myself about nutrition. I read everything I could find and adjusted my portions, choices and menu's accordingly. What I got in return was a lifestyle I could live with. I wish you all the best in your jouney❤
  • AASlender
    AASlender Posts: 18 Member
    1. Using food as a balm when under stress.
    2. Not getting a better handle on stress.
    3. Boredom.
    4. Not having clear cut goals
    5. Fatigue
    6. Allowing tempting foods in the house

    7. Could use more support and I just don’t have this. But , then again many people don’t and do well so I should not use this as any excuse.
  • threewins
    threewins Posts: 1,455 Member
    Me. I have changed significantly the way I eat food over the decades. It used to be energy needed plus occasional entertainment. Now it's treats plus a bit of energy needed.

    I actually remember buying a packet of chocolate finger biscuits when I was about 18. That's because it was so uncommon. And how I treated myself to TWO 40g bags of salt and vinegar chips when I was about 15. If he saw the way I vacuum up a 150g bag of chips now he would not understand.
  • Viking_Dad
    Viking_Dad Posts: 185 Member
    I like beer. And, not light beer; hearty 250+ calorie IPAs 😐
  • fairy_daisy
    fairy_daisy Posts: 247 Member
    Sounds like you’re going through a really tough time Vanessa, I hope you have a lot of support around you.

    I think I’ve been using my weight as an excuse to put off addressing other issues in my life, telling myself I’ll deal with the weight first and sort everything else out once I get down to my goal. So in some ways I’ve been scared of having to face up to those issues and used my weight to protect me. There’s been a lot of emotional eating! I hope I’m addressing things differently this time, we’ll see.
  • petethegaymer
    petethegaymer Posts: 9 Member
    I am type 2 diabetic hereditary and my weight loss was stalled by people thinking they were professionals giving me wrong advice on what to eat and how to exercise. All changed when I met a specialist dietician via my health clinic who was also a PT. If you ever get stuck just ask your doctor for pro advice. If they don't know the answer they will know someone
  • Geneveremfp
    Geneveremfp Posts: 504 Member
    I saw mentioned in a thread something that really resonated with me - the "good enough" feeling. I'm getting it right now. I'm about 8kg from goal so not very far and I'm not as motivated because I feel pretty good tbh. I know that 8kg will be nice and will be better but it's hard to not just switch to maintenance when you're closer to goal and feeling good.
  • AgnesFerniot
    AgnesFerniot Posts: 62 Member
    I never learned to eat cleanly for my health. When I was young food selections available in grocery stores was not as good as today. Recipes were not so good. It was presented as regular food or boiled. Chips were not known to be so bad. Then for many years tried to learn to eat clean and obviously it never went into my head. To my health detriment.
  • lightningbolt9
    lightningbolt9 Posts: 67 Member
    Fear, because reaching my goals (weight and attitude) would mean changing the way I look at myself, and that's a terrifying proposition. What would happen if I saw myself as good enough, pretty enough, worth enough? My entire understanding and perspective of myself would be different, and I'm so used to the negative thinking that it's become my comfort zone.

    Doubt, because my goal isn't just about weight loss, but cynicism-loss. I have extreme mood swings, but I never feel good. Skepticism, like my low esteem, is my default position. I'm fighting on a physical level for fitness, but the real battle is in my head, and some days I'm too tired for the war.

    Self-sabotage, because I'm desperate to feel in control, and if I stop myself, I feel like I'm controlling something. It's not a conscious effort. I'm a bit rebellious, so whenever I feel a pressure to do something, like work out or stay away from ice cream, the contrarian in me gets riled and pressures and persuades me to do the opposite.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    Anything that gets in our way of reaching our full potential is a problem. Anything that holds us back for part of a lifetime or an entire lifetime needs to be looked at...directly in the eye and faced. When anything consumes everything in a person's life causing that person to focus only on that thing it's a roadblock.

    Letting these things hold us back can lead to a loss. Keep fighting for your health. Don't wait another day. Waiting until many of life's opportunities have passed you by to make the serious changes will result in regret. I'm not going out like that.
  • AgnesFerniot
    AgnesFerniot Posts: 62 Member
    OmarVinden wrote: »
    I need a whole lifestyle change. Living like a large person makes a large person. This would be easier if healthy habits came naturally. I'm trying to make it like that.

    I noticed that myself . That’s what I tell myself - have to seek out the ways, places and means in society that thin people use . Go where thin people go , choose what thin people choose . It’s one world 🌎 but if you tracked a thin life on a map and overlaid the tracks of a fat life , there probably would be minimal overlap .
  • thelastnightingale
    thelastnightingale Posts: 725 Member
    So many reasons.

    They do all boil down to putting myself last though, and not finding the time or energy to really care what I was doing to my body. I've spent so much of my life helping people, but not once did I stop to consider my own needs. I need to be healthy.

    I guess I have lockdown to thank - it made it me stop, and pause. Things weren't right for a very long time, but now I've stopped to notice.

    Yes, I like junk food. Yes, I see food as a reward and as a comfort. But really, I see a takeaway as a reward because it's quick - I don't have to spend my time making it. I see food as a comfort, but it's a quick fix. It's much quicker to eat your feelings than to reflect on why you have them in the first place.

    I just needed to slow down.

    Making time to cook food for myself and plan my calorie intake has been a revelation. I'm definitely worth it, I just forgot somewhere along the way. No more.

    Part of me also saw being fat as a way to protect myself from the male gaze. I guess with age comes wisdom, and I've realised that a large part of what gathered the unwanted attention when I was young and thin was that I was young. Men like chasing youth, and the naivety of young women who don't quite know how to assert their rights yet. I don't need a layer of fat to protect me from men like that, I just need to not be 18, which I haven't been for a long time!

    I'm looking forward to finally changing my life for the better. I've lost weight before, but I put it back on because I never really understood or cared why I wanted or needed to do so. I think if you lose weight on autopilot, without examining your actual feelings, you're doomed to regain, because you haven't had that lightbulb moment where you realise why it's important, and why you deserve it.

    This time round, I know I need to lose the weight for my health, and I know I deserve to be the weight I want to be. I'm doing this for me, and I'm doing it for all the right reasons. I know all my triggers, I understand them, and I refuse to let them define me or sabotage me.

    I'm ready.
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    I come from a fat family and have always been fat. I obsess about food, and I have the palate of a five-year-old child.
  • silverpl2525
    silverpl2525 Posts: 138 Member
    Comfort eating. I snack when bored, sad, anxious, and mad. So....it's just a horrible coping skill. Ideally I want to develop better things to do when feeling bad. Also, I gained A LOT of weight since COVID since I allowed myself to eat junky food to feel better: my job loss and inability to socialize with friends (that normally really keeps my spirits up) as I normally do.

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