What I'm going through

So as some of you may know, I am from Pakistan. Over there, it is pretty common to have maids, who cook, clean, and do everything. I had a maid, who was only a couple of years older than me, and had been working for us for over 6 years. She was not a maid to me, but a sister, even more. I don't have many people to talk to, and she was the only one who listened to me. During my weight loss journey, she supported me more than I can say. When I started to cry by frustration, she was the one who calmed me down. Today, what started out as a very common day, her relative came to tell my mom that my maid's mother passed away, due to eating poison. We told our maid that her mother is sick, as we didn't want to shock her. She rushed away to the hospital, and I just hope she has patience regarding the news. Now, I feel like this is the last time I ever got to see her, and that she will never come back. I know I am being extremely selfish, but she was a sister to me, and I just hope to God she will come back. Now to my weight loss, I don't even know how to make an egg... Without her, I feel like my diet can't be carried through. My mom doesn't let me diet properly, forcing me to eat things, and without my maid's support, it feels impossible. I want to put my diet on a hold, but still lose weight. I tracked my calories and planned meals religiously before, but now planning meals is impossible. How does one deal with the loss of a best friend, and what should I do now? Now that I have finished writing, I realise that I shouldn't be ranting on MFP, but it feels like it's the only place I have. I just feel so dead inside and don't feel like doing anything. Thank you for listening to me, I know I am extremely stupid, idky.