Got to get this under control

Some ideas that spring to mind:

1) Do you need to set goals with deadlines? For a lot of people, that approach backfires, as they tend to give up when they don't reach their goal by their deadline.

I don't set weight loss goals for myself with a deadline. I have an end goal, sure, and of course I've selected a specific weight loss rate, but I don't have a deadline at all. As long as I'm progressing, I'm happy.

My goals are related to my activity level (minimum number of steps,...), getting more fit (longer/faster runs,...), sticking to my calorie goal (with some leeway),....

2) Two kids birthdays in 1 month isn't a lot, they shouldn't impact your progress much at all, especially since you can plan for them. Eat a bit less the previous days, for example, or exercise a bit more. Or simply skip breakfast that day. These events will happen after you've reached your goal weight too, you might as well learn how to deal with them now.

3) Both 230 and 220 are very aggressive weight loss goals in one month. Too aggressive in my view, with a very high likelihood of it being unsustainable. Generally, people tend to recommend 2lbs per week at the most (for those with a lot to lose).
How many calories do you plan to eat?
A smaller calorie deficit allows you to lose weight in a more controlled manner, without feeling like you're starving.
My personal motto is 'slow and steady wins the race'. I've been eating all the foods I like in portions that fit within my calories and I've been doing this for a year (44 lbs lost) without feeling like I'm deprived.