Feeling discouraged

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cbreck77
cbreck77 Posts: 13 Member
in Motivation and Support
I’ve been trying to lose these 10-15 pounds (that have crept back now that I’m 43) for many years. My normal stuff is not working. I’m even studying to be a health coach so I feel like a fraud. It’s hard to feel like you’re trying, and trying new things, and still not making any progress. So today, even though I don’t like it, I decided to track my food on here because I know in the past that has worked even though I rebel against it for some reason. I want to drop at least 12 pounds. I’m willing to put in the work. Very determined but just discouraged at the moment.

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  • MidlifeCrisisFitness
    MidlifeCrisisFitness Posts: 1,106 Member
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    You can do it. Adjust your focus to a longer term goal. Monitor weekly calorie targets and weekly weight.
  • cbreck77
    cbreck77 Posts: 13 Member
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    Thanks, KHMcG. Time to fine tune some things, for sure.
  • thelastnightingale
    thelastnightingale Posts: 725 Member
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    cbreck77 wrote: »
    I’ve been trying to lose these 10-15 pounds (that have crept back now that I’m 43) for many years. My normal stuff is not working. I’m even studying to be a health coach so I feel like a fraud. It’s hard to feel like you’re trying, and trying new things, and still not making any progress. So today, even though I don’t like it, I decided to track my food on here because I know in the past that has worked even though I rebel against it for some reason. I want to drop at least 12 pounds. I’m willing to put in the work. Very determined but just discouraged at the moment.

    Imposter syndrome is awful, so I sympathise.

    But, listen, you're not a health coach. You're studying to be one. That means you're still learning, so you can't be expected to have all the answers yet, so if you do actually need to drop 12lb, the fact that you haven't done that yet isn't a reflection on your training. You're a work-in-progress.

    It's always hard to tell from profile only shots, but you don't actually look overweight, so I can only assume that you're just trying to get to a lower point in the healthy weight band. If that's the case, your clients aren't going to see you have 12lb too many, they're just going to see someone who looks good, and who talks with confidence due to all her training, and who can help them.

    You could be an Olympian and still have insecurities about how you look. The trick is to recognise the irrational ones and not to let them stand in the way of your dreams. Speaking as a straight woman and therefore not someone hitting on you, you look beautiful. So take those insecurities and squash them. Life is too short to waste worrying on issues that aren't even real.

    When you shake the 12lb, that will be great. But you're also great now, and you are not a fraud.

    You can do this, so you will do this. Go follow your passions.
  • deeshiloh
    deeshiloh Posts: 24 Member
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    Long-term success comes from long-term goals. Also, it's important to have a strong "why" for why you want to do it. You've said you're training to be a health coach. Perhaps spend some time really examining what it is you think will be better at a lower weight. What is it you actually want? Is it 12 less pounds of weight on your body, or is it a lower body fat percentage? Look into ways to achieve your actual goal, things you can do that you find sustainable long-term rather than just a temporary fix.

    Since you're training to become a coach, you've likely heard of SMART goals - the most important things I've learned recently about SMART goals are that 1) they have to be an action you DO rather than an outcome you get by doing other actions and 2) they have to be something you're 90%+ sure you CAN do, or else they're not reasonable. So keep that in mind when planning out your goals.

    So focus on the actions, not on the results; it's easy to feel discouraged when results aren't what were expected, so if you put your focus on healthy actions, you can be encouraged that you are doing things to better yourself, whether that's eating a higher proportion of high-nutrient foods than low-nutrient foods, or whether it's going to the gym regularly, or building your strength and stamina as you exercise. Then you'll have good things that you can remind yourself that you've done, to counteract the disappointment.
  • Safari_Gal_
    Safari_Gal_ Posts: 1,461 Member
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    Sometimes when I’m stuck - it helps me to think of the present moment as a reboot. Clear the air, think of the steps to progress and jump in again.
    Just because you haven’t lost those 10 lbs before doesn’t mean you won’t this time. This is a new opportunity to make it happen.
    🌻
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
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    cbreck77 wrote: »
    I’ve been trying to lose these 10-15 pounds (that have crept back now that I’m 43) for many years. My normal stuff is not working. I’m even studying to be a health coach so I feel like a fraud. It’s hard to feel like you’re trying, and trying new things, and still not making any progress. So today, even though I don’t like it, I decided to track my food on here because I know in the past that has worked even though I rebel against it for some reason. I want to drop at least 12 pounds. I’m willing to put in the work. Very determined but just discouraged at the moment.


    The people you will eventually coach will appreciate that you have struggled. It will make you more honest, less stubborn, more relatable, and a hopeful example. Think about it. What do you want to hear right now? Do you want to hear how someone sailed through easily or would you rather hear from real people who also struggled but overcame?

    There is a problem though. If you dislike calorie counting then you may not invest the time into learning how to do it correctly and at your stage of loss it would only take a few small errors to erase your entire deficit. I am not saying that with a judgmental tone. I am more concerned about you wasting time.

    What calorie counting does for me is it erases doubt. The numbers don't lie. If I am in a calorie deficit the fat loss will eventually show up both in appearance and scale results. When the scale is not moving for a long period of time or going the wrong way I can trust the process and numbers because they always prove themselves out.

    If you want to try calorie counting we will support you in any way we can. I would suggest you view it as "Getting to count calories" instead of "Forced to count calories". It might help - a little.
  • krussell0123
    krussell0123 Posts: 3 Member
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    I hear you. Trying to lose 10 as well and just hasnt happened. Have been putting the work in for months. You are probably aware, and I have been told recently stress is a key contributor to not loosing the weight so see if that is a factor for you.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
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    krussell0123 wrote: »
    I hear you. Trying to lose 10 as well and just hasnt happened. Have been putting the work in for months. You are probably aware, and I have been told recently stress is a key contributor to not loosing the weight so see if that is a factor for you.

    To drill down on this... stress increases cortisol which increases water retention and overall weight. It does not actually keep you from losing fat weight it just masks it. In other words you can lose fat but just not see it on the scale until the water weight comes back down.
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 7,427 Member
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    If you just started today, you can hardly be discouraged already. Start with an open mind and a good attitude. Isn’t that what you’d want your clients to do?

    Read up here, learn how the system operates. It’s really very little trouble, once you get in the swing of it.

    I breath a sigh of thanks to my RD almost every day for suggesting MFP. I sincerely hope you can profit from your time here and will pass it along to others.
  • Melly045
    Melly045 Posts: 65 Member
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    I think the experience of being sooo close to your goal and struggling to reach it will ultimately make you a better health coach! It will give you real life insight and teach you what works and what doesn’t. So look at this struggle as a learning opportunity. When it’s all said and done you’re going to be a walking living testament not a fraud!
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,070 Member
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    Everyone else has gave the same advice I would have, that it will help you overall to be a health coach because you've experienced it for yourself.

    Try out the MFP, don't rebel haha, what you're doing at the moment has clearly brought you only so far, it could just be a plateau from what you were originally doing. So trying with MFP might just switch it up and help you get them last lbs gone!

    I found the most frustrating thing was when you first start and you have to search/scan for all your foods. But once you've been on a couple of weeks, most of it is already in your saved items so its much easier to log, with only having to add a couple of things every now and then.
  • butterfli7o
    butterfli7o Posts: 1,319 Member
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    I totally hear you. I feel like I've been trying to lose 10-15 pounds forever. I'll be 43 in a few months as well. I'm totally frustrated with myself and my lack of will power. It really does not feel like it is THAT much weight to lose, but it is so hard. The only thing that works for me is consistent calorie tracking, so I'm back to it. I'm trying to make healthier habits a part of my lifestyle.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,464 Member
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    Wondering what’s your resistance to calorie counting? It’s usually 1 or 2 things.

    It’s a pain in the neck. Or people kick themselves for doing it because they think they “should” be able to lose without it. But should according to who? I had lost 60+ lbs before I started tracking on Weight Watchers.
    What I had learned losing 60 lbs was no help at all getting beyond that. Wish I had started tracking sooner. We just have to do what we have to do.

    A good teacher remembers being a learner. And there’s a significant calorie counting learning curve that doesn’t get much discussion. Why do you think that is? Folks start counting calories and throw up their hands and walk away at the first misstep. Why? No one was born counting calories. We have to learn it.
  • bdelaney33
    bdelaney33 Posts: 150 Member
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    cbreck77 wrote: »
    I’ve been trying to lose these 10-15 pounds (that have crept back now that I’m 43) for many years. My normal stuff is not working. I’m even studying to be a health coach so I feel like a fraud. It’s hard to feel like you’re trying, and trying new things, and still not making any progress. So today, even though I don’t like it, I decided to track my food on here because I know in the past that has worked even though I rebel against it for some reason. I want to drop at least 12 pounds. I’m willing to put in the work. Very determined but just discouraged at the moment.

    It's never easy; and gets a little harder as we get older! I have found tracking food is working quite well! good luck!

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