Binged this morning- not sure what to do
crossrunner1497
Posts: 19 Member
So my cravings kind of gave in. I end up bingeing this morning. I ate 2300kcal worth of puffed cereal, fruit, and peanut butter sandwiches (I was trying to fill myself up with volume, and then hit the peanut butter)...
Let’s just say that all that food didn’t stay in my stomach for very long, but I know most of the calories are still absorbed. There are multiple things going on in my head right now:
1) should I still eat later today?
2) should I eat and exercise the same tomorrow, or make up for today?
3) why can I not control these cravings?
4) what is the reason for me feeling like I need large quantities of food like this?
5) why can’t I just behave normally for once?
I am really becoming frustrated with this, but having the hardest time controlling it. I probably binge once a week (used to be more, so I am happy about that). Anyone have any advice?
Let’s just say that all that food didn’t stay in my stomach for very long, but I know most of the calories are still absorbed. There are multiple things going on in my head right now:
1) should I still eat later today?
2) should I eat and exercise the same tomorrow, or make up for today?
3) why can I not control these cravings?
4) what is the reason for me feeling like I need large quantities of food like this?
5) why can’t I just behave normally for once?
I am really becoming frustrated with this, but having the hardest time controlling it. I probably binge once a week (used to be more, so I am happy about that). Anyone have any advice?
3
Replies
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1. Yes. Trying to respond to a binge with excessive restriction is usually a recipe for disaster.
2. Yes. Trying to "make up" for a binge is punitive behavior that puts usually puts us at a higher risk for having another binge.
3. No idea. Many people find that binges are more driven by emotion, although we can certainly put ourselves at a high risk of binges through excessive restriction, failing to regularly eat foods we enjoy, or over-exercising. The best insight into why you binged today is you.
4. Are you eating enough each day? Are you getting enough fat, protein, and fiber? Are you depriving yourself of too many foods you enjoy? Are you exercising a lot? All these physical things can contribute to binges. But it could also be emotional -- many of us find that we have to address our thought patterns before we can make meaningful changes in how often we binge.
5. You are behaving normally -- for you. There's nothing inherently wrong with you, you've just got to figure out what is triggering this and what kind of changes you'd like to make to minimize this happening in the future.
I figured out that if I eat a reasonable number of calories and get enough fat, my desires to binge get a lot better. This includes ensuring that I'm eating enough to fuel my activity (so I usually eat more the days after heavy exercise, because that's when I feel the desire for more food). I also make sure not to deprive myself of anything I really want -- so if I want some french fries or chocolate, I'll have a reasonable portion instead of just letting that desire grow and grow. Sleeping enough helps too. There's always going to be the random stress that pops up and makes me want to "fix" it with food, but doing these things consistently has dramatically reduced my binges.10 -
janejellyroll wrote: »1. Yes. Trying to respond to a binge with excessive restriction is usually a recipe for disaster.
2. Yes. Trying to "make up" for a binge is punitive behavior that puts usually puts us at a higher risk for having another binge.
3. No idea. Many people find that binges are more driven by emotion, although we can certainly put ourselves at a high risk of binges through excessive restriction, failing to regularly eat foods we enjoy, or over-exercising. The best insight into why you binged today is you.
4. Are you eating enough each day? Are you getting enough fat, protein, and fiber? Are you depriving yourself of too many foods you enjoy? Are you exercising a lot? All these physical things can contribute to binges. But it could also be emotional -- many of us find that we have to address our thought patterns before we can make meaningful changes in how often we binge.
5. You are behaving normally -- for you. There's nothing inherently wrong with you, you've just got to figure out what is triggering this and what kind of changes you'd like to make to minimize this happening in the future.
I figured out that if I eat a reasonable number of calories and get enough fat, my desires to binge get a lot better. This includes ensuring that I'm eating enough to fuel my activity (so I usually eat more the days after heavy exercise, because that's when I feel the desire for more food). I also make sure not to deprive myself of anything I really want -- so if I want some french fries or chocolate, I'll have a reasonable portion instead of just letting that desire grow and grow. Sleeping enough helps too. There's always going to be the random stress that pops up and makes me want to "fix" it with food, but doing these things consistently has dramatically reduced my binges.
Yesss!!!! 100% this!!!2 -
Thank you for sharing so honestly. I also had a binge last night when I couldn't sleep. I'm tracing back to my triggers to just be curious about it. For me, my triggers were - coming from a calorie deficit mindset (I felt like I couldn't eat anything, that everything was too many calories, and those green beans just didn't cut it as a snack), not drinking all of my water, not "letting" myself have some things, watching TV late at night, worrying about future job stress. I think my main emotion that triggered this was stress. Stress about what to eat or not to eat and stress about life/work.
So...if everything is here to teach us, then I can come at this from a different way today. I can do a guided meditation or journal when stressed. I can move my body or do yoga. I can remember what's happening right here, right now, not in the future. I can drink my water and plan my food so I have more options that taste good but that fill me up in a good way. I can be compassionate to myself.
I think the most important thing is to remember you're not alone or doing anything wrong---our behaviors are just the best way we're learning to cope with something, the best solution we've found so far, but we can rewire it a little bit each day. I'm asking myself today, what do I REALLY need, because it wasn't actually the candy or the cheese and tortilla. It's just indicating that something else was out of balance and needs attention.
Anyway, you're definitely not alone in this and you really helped me by sharing today.5 -
Let’s just say that all that food didn’t stay in my stomach for very long, but I know most of the calories are still absorbed. There are multiple things going on in my head right now:
This isn't going to go away on its own. You've got to sit down with someone, face-to-face and face all of the above.6 -
Please be kind to yourself. You should still eat later today - if you had food planned out for today I would just stick with whatever was in the plan even if breakfast went off the tracks.
You should try to eat on your regular plan again tomorrow. Do not punish yourself by trying to refuse yourself food or excessively work out.
I would truly encourage you to seek out a professional to discuss your eating behaviour and body image. I think you could benefit from someone who can help you understand why you feel and act this way and assist you in implementing healthy strategies long term. I’ve seen several posts from you that make me concerned for you. There are many remote/web/phone resources where you can connect with a healthcare professional even during COVID. In my area there is also a campaign to make the public aware that they can and should still be reaching out to healthcare services with “regular” concerns and not suffer in silence.
Wishing you all the best!5 -
Diatonic12 wrote: »Let’s just say that all that food didn’t stay in my stomach for very long, but I know most of the calories are still absorbed. There are multiple things going on in my head right now:
This isn't going to go away on its own. You've got to sit down with someone, face-to-face and face all of the above.
Yes, OP. I wasn't 100% positive that you were referring to purging, but if you were . . . I'm sure you already know all the risks associated with that (above and beyond the binges). But also know it's something that can get better. You've got a better chance of success if you have someone to help you sort it all out. There's no problem with talking it over with someone with experience helping out with this stuff -- lots of people here (including me) have seen real improvement in quality of life and peace of mind after getting some help sorting out our compulsions/urges/anxiety around food and our bodies.3 -
I think @PAV8888 made mention, by your leg pictures, you look really lean. What is your current body fat? I would state that there is NOTHING wrong with peanut butter, but i have to be careful with it. When I start eating it, it's hard to stop. It can be a very high reward food. Basically, the pleasure center in my brain lights up like a slot machine hitting a Jackpot! It's a natural thing. Our brains are designed to have a preference for high calorie foods.1
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These craving may be more psychologically driven. Have you considered seeing a professional about this? Sometimes I binge eat but I normally can stop myself after 1200 to 1500 calories and it happens only when my depression kicks in. Before I decided to get therapy for it I could binge on 10000 calories and still have room for more1
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RockingWithLJ wrote: »These craving may be more psychologically driven. Have you considered seeing a professional about this? Sometimes I binge eat but I normally can stop myself after 1200 to 1500 calories and it happens only when my depression kicks in. Before I decided to get therapy for it I could binge on 10000 calories and still have room for more
I saw a professional briefly, but it did not seem to help me. I also don’t have the funds to continue it for a prolonged period of time. I am on medication for my depression, so that does lessen the major binges for sure.1 -
psychod787 wrote: »I think @PAV8888 made mention, by your leg pictures, you look really lean. What is your current body fat? I would state that there is NOTHING wrong with peanut butter, but i have to be careful with it. When I start eating it, it's hard to stop. It can be a very high reward food. Basically, the pleasure center in my brain lights up like a slot machine hitting a Jackpot! It's a natural thing. Our brains are designed to have a preference for high calorie foods.
I am definitely not that lean. I carry more fat around my midsection. I would guess I am somewhere around 18-20% BF.
I understand why our brains love the high calorie food, I just don’t understand why my cravings are so extreme is I am above a normal weight and not starving.1 -
crossrunner1497 wrote: »psychod787 wrote: »I think @PAV8888 made mention, by your leg pictures, you look really lean. What is your current body fat? I would state that there is NOTHING wrong with peanut butter, but i have to be careful with it. When I start eating it, it's hard to stop. It can be a very high reward food. Basically, the pleasure center in my brain lights up like a slot machine hitting a Jackpot! It's a natural thing. Our brains are designed to have a preference for high calorie foods.
I am definitely not that lean. I carry more fat around my midsection. I would guess I am somewhere around 18-20% BF.
I understand why our brains love the high calorie food, I just don’t understand why my cravings are so extreme is I am above a normal weight and not starving.
It does not really matter if you are at a healthy weight or not. Those foods still play on the teaching hormone dopamine. Being lean can just make it worse. Are you having cravings for apples? Carrots? Or is it just high reward foods?1 -
How much are you trying to lose per week? Since you are already fairly lean (18-20% is actually quite lean, depending on how you are measuring it) and you are having issues with binging perhaps your deficit is too steep? Maybe a slower rate of loss can help. When I get lean I have to do two to three refeeds per week and take frequent diet breaks where I eat at maintenance to recharge otherwise it can be a real struggle.2
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The OP's profile says she is recovering from an eating disorder, look slim in her picture and then talks here about restricting, binging and purging.
Other posts talk about "saving calories" to have regular binges of many thousands of calories as a deliberate act.
Nuff said surely and can I suggest other posters should now back away with their advice?6 -
The larger the deficit and the leaner you are, the more likely your scenario over and above existing propensities that sound (based on this and previous posts) as if they have already.... existed!
Please note that if your percentages are correct, you're confirming you're already lean. Guys and gals don't operate with the same reserves and the above numbers are lean for gals
Honest opinion. Just, ya know, older guy, around the block, yada yada yada.
It doesn't sound to me that it is currently health enhancing for you to be trying to restrict your food intake and expand your exercise in an attempt to reduce your weight.
Getting a handle on your various eating concerns while trying to more or less maintain your weight may be much more productive long term.
And eating at maintenance may allow you better exercise performance.
It's not the healthiest to be thinking about your eating and exercise in terms of one making up for the other, guilt, expiation and all that jazz.
Easier to separate emotional from physical if you're not confounding them via the application of a deficit ...
I hear ya that you believe that your midsection is not perfect. And it is true that it may, comparatively, not be as lean as your (awesome) legs! But, unless you're dissimilar to the majority of other humans.... your legs sort of set some parameters as to how far less lean the rest of you can possibly be.... and the numbers you discuss above are relatively within the parameters... but your interpretation not as much!
Your major health win right now, from where I'm sitting, is not in getting leaner!
(Have you looked at the uterus thread yet?)2 -
psychod787 wrote: »crossrunner1497 wrote: »psychod787 wrote: »I think @PAV8888 made mention, by your leg pictures, you look really lean. What is your current body fat? I would state that there is NOTHING wrong with peanut butter, but i have to be careful with it. When I start eating it, it's hard to stop. It can be a very high reward food. Basically, the pleasure center in my brain lights up like a slot machine hitting a Jackpot! It's a natural thing. Our brains are designed to have a preference for high calorie foods.
I am definitely not that lean. I carry more fat around my midsection. I would guess I am somewhere around 18-20% BF.
I understand why our brains love the high calorie food, I just don’t understand why my cravings are so extreme is I am above a normal weight and not starving.
It does not really matter if you are at a healthy weight or not. Those foods still play on the teaching hormone dopamine. Being lean can just make it worse. Are you having cravings for apples? Carrots? Or is it just high reward foods?
It’s just high reward foods. I enjoy my apples and carrots, but they don’t fully satisfy me. I am always wanting more sugary and fatty foods, like pancakes, ice cream, peanut butter, pizza, etc.
2 -
How much are you trying to lose per week? Since you are already fairly lean (18-20% is actually quite lean, depending on how you are measuring it) and you are having issues with binging perhaps your deficit is too steep? Maybe a slower rate of loss can help. When I get lean I have to do two to three refeeds per week and take frequent diet breaks where I eat at maintenance to recharge otherwise it can be a real struggle.
I am aiming for a pound a week. I want to drop 20lbs off my frame (I am currently 140lbs). I am eating around 1800-1900kcal a day, and workout about 60-70min a day and walk 10-15k steps. I have not lost an ounce in four weeks, so I don’t think my deficit is too small, even though it does feel like I am in a deficit.
1 -
The OP's profile says she is recovering from an eating disorder, look slim in her picture and then talks here about restricting, binging and purging.
Other posts talk about "saving calories" to have regular binges of many thousands of calories as a deliberate act.
Nuff said surely and can I suggest other posters should now back away with their advice?
I recovered. I am 140lbs at 5’6. I am no where near underweight, and my goal is no longer to be underweight. I am happier not be stick thin anymore. I don’t restrict heavily, but yes, I am cutting some calories to try to lose some of the extra weight. I am doing everything like a normal healthy person would. I understand my history can be worrisome, but I am not engaging in eating disorder behaviors. I do not normally binge and purge, but I did this one time. Everyone has slip ups. I do have extreme cravings though, and I do find it difficult not to binge. I believe that would still mean advice would be helpful, as it is just as any normal person. I am only questioning saving calories as a possible method to offset my cravings so I can do this long term and in a heathy manner. Again, countless of healthy people asked about that too.1 -
The larger the deficit and the leaner you are, the more likely your scenario over and above existing propensities that sound (based on this and previous posts) as if they have already.... existed!
Please note that if your percentages are correct, you're confirming you're already lean. Guys and gals don't operate with the same reserves and the above numbers are lean for gals
Honest opinion. Just, ya know, older guy, around the block, yada yada yada.
It doesn't sound to me that it is currently health enhancing for you to be trying to restrict your food intake and expand your exercise in an attempt to reduce your weight.
Getting a handle on your various eating concerns while trying to more or less maintain your weight may be much more productive long term.
And eating at maintenance may allow you better exercise performance.
It's not the healthiest to be thinking about your eating and exercise in terms of one making up for the other, guilt, expiation and all that jazz.
Easier to separate emotional from physical if you're not confounding them via the application of a deficit ...
I hear ya that you believe that your midsection is not perfect. And it is true that it may, comparatively, not be as lean as your (awesome) legs! But, unless you're dissimilar to the majority of other humans.... your legs sort of set some parameters as to how far less lean the rest of you can possibly be.... and the numbers you discuss above are relatively within the parameters... but your interpretation not as much!
Your major health win right now, from where I'm sitting, is not in getting leaner!
(Have you looked at the uterus thread yet?)
I hate how right your advice sounds. 😅
I am by no means fat, but I do just want to lean up the rest of my body a bit. I honestly don’t care if I stay at 140lbs. The weight was just a measure to see if I am making progress with fat loss. If I stay 140lbs but lean up in my stomach and arm area, then I am happy. I still feel like I should be able to lose some of the fat on my stomach and arms. Most of the fat is there, and it just not look good because of that. I am an athlete, so it should be no issue getting a bit leaner.2 -
DouchetownBrohouse wrote: »Nice legs tho.
Well, thats helpful.
Thank you, I also thought this was helpful.1 -
Ok, so you come from a history of ED? Well, get some help. Nothing I can say will be of much worth. I'm a science guy, not an psychology guy. Best wishes op.2
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A few things to throw at you.
BMI does NOT mean that everyone of a certain height is healthy at EVERY point in the healthy/normal BMI range.
At most it can be interpreted to say that the vast majority of people of a certain height will find their optimum weight, in terms of being healthy, at some random weight level that will be within the normal BMI range.
What this means is that not every single 5ft 6" female is at a healthy weight at BMI 22.6 and not every 5ft 6" female is at a healthy weight for her at BMI 19.4
Various things play in this including muscle mass and body shape.
Your body is clearly signaling, based on what you say, that whatever fat reserves you currently have are far from excessive as far as it is concerned.
So even though on paper your target BMI 19.4 is "healthy", you're neither particularly short, nor of Asian descent, nor under muscled. And yet the above three reasons were major drivers in moving the healthy BMI range to even include sub 20 bmi.
Your food seaking and what you want to eat sound pretty normal to me for someone who has been extensively under eating their current energy requirements
It takes time for bodies to recover and stabilize after "starvation" events. Most of us regain lost weight within less than 2 years. Some of us last between 2-5 years. And only at that point do we pretty much have a fair chance to maintain a loss.
Most people blame simple lack of willpower and commitment for these regains, and fail to recognize that the way they create and apply deficits generate hormonal and neurotransmitter reactions and changes as side effects. And that while many of these side effects are inevitable, some can be, perhaps, finessed a little bit to enhance the probability of long term success.
The above is not in direct reference to your case, it just introduces the concept that it takes time for the body and mind to stabilize and the time horizon is longer than a year or two.
You, to me, sound like you're coming hard upon body limits. And that generates reactions. And in spite of how long ago it may feel to you, given your age, it is a safe bet that you don't have decades of recovery under your belt.
Separate the issues by not applying a deficit
Then tackle the mental issues because that's where most of your long term health win is at.
A skinfold that registers a mm less on a caliper won't make the next 50 years as much better for you as tackling any lingering issues you currently have around food...
... and dieting to lose weight at this point won't increase your chances of being able to tackle any lingering issues.
You are barking at a tree without a squirrel while a family of chipmunks is sitting at the next tree over... or something like that!!!! ♡6 -
crossrunner1497 wrote: »The OP's profile says she is recovering from an eating disorder, look slim in her picture and then talks here about restricting, binging and purging.
Other posts talk about "saving calories" to have regular binges of many thousands of calories as a deliberate act.
Nuff said surely and can I suggest other posters should now back away with their advice?
I recovered. I am 140lbs at 5’6. I am no where near underweight, and my goal is no longer to be underweight. I am happier not be stick thin anymore. I don’t restrict heavily, but yes, I am cutting some calories to try to lose some of the extra weight. I am doing everything like a normal healthy person would. I understand my history can be worrisome, but I am not engaging in eating disorder behaviors. I do not normally binge and purge, but I did this one time. Everyone has slip ups. I do have extreme cravings though, and I do find it difficult not to binge. I believe that would still mean advice would be helpful, as it is just as any normal person. I am only questioning saving calories as a possible method to offset my cravings so I can do this long term and in a heathy manner. Again, countless of healthy people asked about that too.
I just want to say well done for standing up for yourself and well done with your recovery! I had a friend with anorexia and it took a very very long time for her to get better so well done.
There will always be people that have something to say, not necessarily in a bad way, but you may find you always have that stigma.
But the important thing is is that you have recovered, and you are healthy and you've made it very clear you don't want to be underweight. And I'm sure youre very well aware of what sort of things may trigger it or anything
So you shouldn't be judged by your past ED is what I'm trying to say.
(I'm pretty bad at wording things)
Sorry I didn't really have any advice on your original post!
2 -
It’s painful to see how tough on yourself you are.
Living every day with things I found hard to accept was tough too.
Reading these made some lightbulbs go off, and now it’s easier to live with the critical voice in my head:
The Power of Now
The Secret of Happiness
Both by Eckhart Tolle1
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