How do you get motivated?

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chantalnarcisse
chantalnarcisse Posts: 36 Member
edited August 2020 in Motivation and Support
I am overweight, it’s baby weight but I would normally have lost by now. I just feel terrible, I normally love my body my stomach was always firm, flat my thighs never touched I am only 30lbs away from my normal weight but It’s such a huge difference I feel totally unfeminine and ugly(I think other bigger people look fine I just hate what I see on me). None of my clothes fit so I’m stuck in my maternity ones. I don’t like sex anymore. I don’t want to meet up with friends because they last saw me normal, I still can’t focus on shifting the weight even though I hate everything about being this size and it’s affecting my life so much. I don’t understand what’s stopping me. Does anyone else feel this how do you get through it?

Replies

  • Shortgirlrunning
    Shortgirlrunning Posts: 1,020 Member
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    This sounds like you’re possibly experiencing depression. I think you’d really benefit from meeting with a therapist to discuss all of this.

    Also, it’s incredibly *kitten* that your husband won’t allow you to buy clothes that fit you. Having clothes that fit and are flattering can really change how you feel about yourself and your body. No one, no matter what they weigh, feels good/confident in clothes that don’t fit.
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,069 Member
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    chantalnarcisse wrote: »
    I am overweight, it’s baby weight but I would normally have lost by now. I just feel terrible, I normally love my body my stomach was always firm, flat my thighs never touched I am only 30lbs away from my normal weight but It’s such a huge difference I feel totally unfeminine and ugly(I think other bigger people look fine I just hate what I see on me). None of my clothes fit but my husband won’t let me buy bigger clothes so I’m stuck in my maternity ones. I don’t like sex anymore. I don’t want to meet up with friends because they last saw me normal, I still can’t focus on shifting the weight even though I hate everything about being this size and it’s affecting my life so much. I don’t understand what’s stopping me. Does anyone else feel this how do you get through it?

    I know the feeling, how old are your kids? My youngest is 2 and I have a 4 and 6 year old.
    And probably since the first one I've not really lost any baby weight! Out of pure laziness too!!

    First off, sod your husband. He's wrong.
    And I know he's wrong because it was the other way round in our house. I refused to buy bigger clothes so I had no option but to lose weight. But when I wasnt doing that either it was just leaving me uncomfortable. So, we went shopping and ill admit, it was miserable picking the sizes i needed. But oh my god. They felt so comfortable, and they fitted round all the right parts and i actually felt pretty more confident despite my size! I LOOKED good because I had the right size on haha!

    I'm only 40lbs from GW so I agree its not like weve ended up morbidly obese but it just hard to shift!

    I hate to bring it up, but it sounds like you're not enjoying anything right now. Is it all REALLY to do with your weight? Or could it be something else? How are you feeling like emotionally? Its hard to get motivated for anything when you feel like that.

    I usually just sod the motivation and start, once I start it motivates me to carry on x
  • rogerbigham
    rogerbigham Posts: 6 Member
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    Having a good spiritual foundation and always writing down your plans, including meals and exercise is a good way to start. Don’t be too hard on yourself and try to find someone to stand with you on your journey.
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 7,426 Member
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    Could this be postpartum depression?

    Please talk to someone and don’t bottle this up inside. You have your baby, husband, and most of all, yourself to consider. You owe it to yourself to be the best, healthy you you can be.

    Much love and warm wishes.
  • jmakleanaddo
    jmakleanaddo Posts: 101 Member
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    chantalnarcisse wrote: »
    I am overweight, it’s baby weight but I would normally have lost by now. I just feel terrible, I normally love my body my stomach was always firm, flat my thighs never touched I am only 30lbs away from my normal weight but It’s such a huge difference I feel totally unfeminine and ugly(I think other bigger people look fine I just hate what I see on me). None of my clothes fit so I’m stuck in my maternity ones. I don’t like sex anymore. I don’t want to meet up with friends because they last saw me normal, I still can’t focus on shifting the weight even though I hate everything about being this size and it’s affecting my life so much. I don’t understand what’s stopping me. Does anyone else feel this how do you get through it?

    I have been in this exact same place honestly. Self loathing. Not feeling good enough. Feeling Ugly. Honestly i will say one thing. The solution to this is not to isolate yourself from your friends or family. The best thing to do is to rely on these people around you for your support. Your true friends will accept you no matter what you look like and will help and support you through anything you may be feeling now or going through. I went through a pretty devasting break up that had me feeling used and not good enough but the truth is WE ARE! YOU ARE! and you will always be no matter how you may look or feel now. Just make a move to connect with family and friends and tell them about how you are feeling and exactly what you are going through. A good support system is crucial at a time like this. Please take care of yourself and know that you are amazing in every single way! You will get through this and how you are feeling. Set some goals and crush them!

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