Love life...hate how I look

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I am new to the site and have made a commitment to be as open, honest and fair with myself as I possibility can. I am one of those people who have spent a lifetime obsessing about my weight. I have gone from average to heavy, from heavy to obese, from obese to overweight, from overweight to pregnant and so on and so forth. There is no normal for me it seems. I am turning 50 in a few years and don't want to spend the next "half" of my years preoccupied with what I look like, what I can and can't wear and whether or not I am an embarassment to others or ashamed of myself. Like many people who want to take control of their eating and their body issues I have been "committed" to this journey before...many times...and in the long run have fallen off track. There is nothing to say that I am defintely going to stick with this now, except for my current resolve. The one thing I can say for sure is that if I don't follow through with this journey then I will NOT beat myself up, I will NOT criticize myself for being lazy and undiciplined and I will NOT give up. If nothing else, this alone will be a big change for me.
Recently, my 10 year old son said to me "mom, I think you should give me a quarter for everytime you say something mean about yourself, then I'd be rich in no time!" That was yet another wake up call. There is absolutely no reason that my child should be seeing this side of me. I want him to grow up comfortable with women who respect and love themselves, not the opposite.
So, this is my intro diatribe. I hope that I get to meet other like minded people while I am here. I need support as much as I want to offer it.
Cheers to success and strength..
Big Love's girl
:drinker:

Replies

  • sarahrosemun
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    Hello and welcome. It sounds like your finally "ready" to make a change, and put yourself first. I have major body image issues and can really relate. I read that all you have to do is " just start it" ( like the nike logo just do it), thats been a helpful attitude for me, especially with working out. Now i find im loving my work outs, i used to loathe them. Good luck, and add me if u like :bigsmile:
  • Biglovelovesme
    Biglovelovesme Posts: 133 Member
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    Thanks so much for your thoughts and encouragement! I don't wish the body image issues on anyone, but it definitely helps to know I am not alone with this. You are 100% right on the "just start it" thing. I need to jump in head first before my brain can think up a trillion different reason to procrastinate.
    Being new, I am not sure what it means to "add someone"
    (p.s. I have a wonderful cat that could be the brother to the one in your picture. Always been a dog person, never thought I'd want or like having a cat..but this one fell into our lives and he is the best):flowerforyou:
  • bluegirl10
    bluegirl10 Posts: 695 Member
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    Welcome! :) You will love this site and the support... I can relate to loving life, but not my body! Especially when I put on a pair of pants that were once loose, but aren't anymore! :( Take one day at a time and don't give up! Good Luck!.. You can add me, if you want to! :)
  • philOHIO
    philOHIO Posts: 520 Member
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    After 40, and many times of yoyo dieting, my food issues started catching up with me... and some friends/relative that weren't lucky enough to fix the problem. Starting at this site is the first step, I hope you stick with it.
  • ritas
    ritas Posts: 12
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    Welcome...this is day 21 for me of seriously committing to log in my calorie intake and being honest with myself. I just encourage you to not give up and if you stray like I have in the past get back on it. Logging in everyday has helped me to stay focused. Just remember your reasons why you are doing this every time you are tempted to not eat right or not exercise today. I see my reasons why everyday in three bright shiny faces. Good luck!