perfect

^^^What she said!

if anyone was perfect, there would be no need at all to "imply" rude things about other people, namely their figure or their decision in what to wear and/or post.

I am all for support, giving and receiving help and/or words of encouragement. I might act silly at times, might correct some grammar and spelling, maybe even snarky for fun, but never in a million years would I ever insult another user's appearance or weight (bigger or smaller).

People who do that have a complex and only feel bigger and better about themselves by making others feel small. Should that happen to you, do not let it derail your goals. Instead, use it to meet/exceed your goals. You are in control of you. You've got this!

and here is one of the many reasons why you are so amazing and supportive.
You rock
xoxo
-B :flowerforyou:

if anyone was perfect, there would be no need at all to "imply" rude things about other people, namely their figure or their decision in what to wear and/or post.

I am all for support, giving and receiving help and/or words of encouragement. I might act silly at times, might correct some grammar and spelling, maybe even snarky for fun, but never in a million years would I ever insult another user's appearance or weight (bigger or smaller).

People who do that have a complex and only feel bigger and better about themselves by making others feel small. Should that happen to you, do not let it derail your goals. Instead, use it to meet/exceed your goals. You are in control of you. You've got this!

Those are encouraging words, but you must see that although you are not criticizing someone based on their appearance, that being snarky and correcting spelling and grammar is also a tool used to make someone feel better about themselves by making someone else feel inadequate or less educated. Don't you?

So glad you are my friend!!! :bigsmile:

You're a lovely human being!!!!!!

Instead, use it to meet/exceed your goals. You are in control of you. You've got this!

Agreed, or alternatively don't let it bother you.

My viewpoint is that if I have been respectful, thoughtful and polite to a person and they are rude to me then the problem is not mine, it is theirs. Don't take ownership or responsibility for someone else's issues. If someone doesn't really know you then they do not have the power to make a judgment on you. How can they? Therefore give it any kind of importance isn't really worth it.

People have been rude to me countless times on here. Does it matter? Nah.

if anyone was perfect, there would be no need at all to "imply" rude things about other people, namely their figure or their decision in what to wear and/or post.

I am all for support, giving and receiving help and/or words of encouragement. I might act silly at times, might correct some grammar and spelling, maybe even snarky for fun, but never in a million years would I ever insult another user's appearance or weight (bigger or smaller).

People who do that have a complex and only feel bigger and better about themselves by making others feel small. Should that happen to you, do not let it derail your goals. Instead, use it to meet/exceed your goals. You are in control of you. You've got this!

Those are encouraging words, but you must see that although you are not criticizing someone based on their appearance, that being snarky and correcting spelling and grammar is also a tool used to make someone feel better about themselves by making someone else feel inadequate or less educated. Don't you?

I do it in jest, Brian, not to intentionally hurt others. Generally, it is my own friends, who know I am joking with them. I do no go trolling the interwebs to find innocent, random people to pray on, so try again. Oh, and at least I'm honest.

Prey and that is "interwebz"!

I love you, Bry.

Yes, there is fun to be had with sarcasm etc. on here. But personal attacks are not good whatsoever. I've been called a hypocrite on here before for saying this exact thing. I love to eff off on this site for fun, make some people laugh (and some people hate me ha) but it's all in fun, but personal attacks cross a line.

if anyone was perfect, there would be no need at all to "imply" rude things about other people, namely their figure or their decision in what to wear and/or post.

I am all for support, giving and receiving help and/or words of encouragement. I might act silly at times, might correct some grammar and spelling, maybe even snarky for fun, but never in a million years would I ever insult another user's appearance or weight (bigger or smaller).

People who do that have a complex and only feel bigger and better about themselves by making others feel small. Should that happen to you, do not let it derail your goals. Instead, use it to meet/exceed your goals. You are in control of you. You've got this!

I've seen your activity on the forum, and I know you to be a strong person.

Here is something you might consider trying. Give up the idea of stating other people's motives. Let go of the reaction to other people that spawns criticizing their character, motives, etc. Let them be. We don't truly know motives anyway. So saying "People who do _________ are only trying to make themselves feel better" is just a guess. And it doesn't really matter.

Try letting that bit go. See what it feels like. It's very freeing. I'm not advocating being a doormat. By all means, people should be held accountable. If someone wrongs you and you want to call them on it, do so honestly and without malice. But notice the difference between calling out someone's behavior and implying *why* they did it. One feels a lot cleaner.

Ultimately, if someone wrongs me, that's the issue. Why is immaterial, unless that person wants to explain and there is some context that might justify/explain their action. Me guessing at why is usually a way for me to get another jab in. And then it's not clean.

Anyway... free advice. Use if you wish.

^^^ This guy right here^^^

You make me smile every day I am glad your my MFP friend!! Carry On Sexi xoxo

if anyone was perfect, there would be no need at all to "imply" rude things about other people, namely their figure or their decision in what to wear and/or post.

I am all for support, giving and receiving help and/or words of encouragement. I might act silly at times, might correct some grammar and spelling, maybe even snarky for fun, but never in a million years would I ever insult another user's appearance or weight (bigger or smaller).

People who do that have a complex and only feel bigger and better about themselves by making others feel small. Should that happen to you, do not let it derail your goals. Instead, use it to meet/exceed your goals. You are in control of you. You've got this!

I've seen your activity on the forum, and I know you to be a strong person.

Here is something you might consider trying. Give up the idea of stating other people's motives. Let go of the reaction to other people that spawns criticizing their character, motives, etc. Let them be. We don't truly know motives anyway. So saying "People who do _________ are only trying to make themselves feel better" is just a guess. And it doesn't really matter.

Try letting that bit go. See what it feels like. It's very freeing. I'm not advocating being a doormat. By all means, people should be held accountable. If someone wrongs you and you want to call them on it, do so honestly and without malice. But notice the difference between calling out someone's behavior and implying *why* they did it. One feels a lot cleaner.

Ultimately, if someone wrongs me, that's the issue. Why is immaterial, unless that person wants to explain and there is some context that might justify/explain their action. Me guessing at why is usually a way for me to get another jab in. And then it's not clean.

Anyway... free advice. Use if you wish.

So I love the advice of not imputing motives. But personalities are wired to react the way that they do. @kenneth you reminded me of the Myers Briggs type indicator (which you may be well aware of). It is a popular Jungian personality indicator. The basic differences in people's personality that are explained by the indicator are:

How they focus their attention or get their energy (extraversion or introversion)
How they perceive or take in information (sensing or intuition)
How they prefer to make decisions (thinking or feeling)
How they orient themselves to the external world (judgment or perception)

@kenneth you are focusing on the last one (judgment or perception).

When a perceiver views actions of others, often they try to understand what possibly could motivate someone to make those choices, and then give them the benefit of the doubt. They find a plausible scenario that could be a legitimate motive for an action. They are not interested in right or wrong, based upon their own motivations, rather they are interested in learning or growing by understanding how the other people are motivated, because they are curious. Lots of GRAY in this approach.

When a judger views the actions of others, often they view it in the context of how they would react given the same set of circumstances, what they would have done, and then conclude what the best decision would be by comparing the other's decision vs their own decision, usually based upon the outcome and/or consequences of the decision. Very black and white.

Here is the comparison:

Judgers: approach life in a structured way, creating plans and organizing their world to achieve their goals and desired results in a predictable way.
They get their sense of control by taking charge of their environment and making choices early.
They are self-disciplined and decisive, and seek closure in decisions. When they ask for things they are specific and expect others to do as they say. They enjoy being experts.
At work, they decide quickly and clearly and work to get the job done.
Perceivers may see them as rigid and opinionated.

Perceivers: perceive structure as being more limiting than enabling. They prefer to keep their choices open so they can cope with many problems that the know life will put in their way.
They get their sense of control by keeping their options open and making choices only when they are necessary.
They are generally curious and like to expand their knowledge, which they will freely acknowledge as being incomplete. They are tolerant of other people's differences and will adapt to fit into whatever the situation requires.
At work, they tend to avoid or put off decisions and like most the exploration of problems and situations.
Judgers may see them as aimless drifters.