Things you wish you knew

JJ1703 · August 2020

So I am the definition of "Serial Starter" when it comes to weight loss. The only time I had any success really losing weight was when I joined Slimming World 9 years ago for my wedding. I lost just over 2st and was happy with how I looked for the first time ever.

Fast forward 9 years, and after 2 children, numerous attempts at losing weight here I am 1st 7lb heavier than when i first joined that slimming world group. I have tried slimming world again, weight watchers and nearly any other diet you can mention but I loss half a stone and then fall right back into bad habits and routines.

I did start to get myself on track to losing weight, joined a local ladies rugby team and loved it, I finally got the courage to get a personal trainer and started cooking meal prep meals.... only for Lockdown to hit (I'm UK based) and everything has gone to pot!

I'm pretty sure I'm depressed, as I'm finding it hard to even get up in the mornings, I can't remember the last time I was enthusiastic about anything and I'm shorted tempered all the time. I know my mental health is linked to my physical health and I've set a start date for my journey this time for the last week of September (26th) as both my children will finally be back in school and I can start getting into a routine and selfishly I know - finally getting some time to myself.

My current BMI is 37.5 and my Waist is 39.5" (I'm 5" 2") - both of which I know are very high and dangerous to my health.

So after that long, long background (sorry about that) - my question is - what advise to you have for me? what do wish you had know when you started? what tips do you to help motivate yourself to keep going on those bad days? I am not expected that this is an overnight fix, I know that this is a long road I have to get to where I want to be (3st 7lb lighter) ... just looking to get the right directions before I start.

Thank you for anyone still here :-)

Dogmom1978 · August 2020

Well, first, stop with the fad diets. They work as you know, until you stop them and return to how you previously ate.

Get a food scale.

Weigh and record all foods.

Validate info in the data base as it’s often wrong.

CICO is ALL that matters. Not how much you exercise.

You can add in exercise for overall health or to allow you to stay within your deficit.

Don’t try to lose too much too fast. You don’t want to be super hungry and then give up right away.

In addition to weighing yourself, check your measurements as you might lose inches (sorry American here) before lbs.

Eat the foods you like; just control portion sizes. If you make yourself eat tofu and chia seeds and you hate both of them, you are destined to fail. If you like those, good for you!

EAT THE FOODS YOU ENJOY! (I know I said that already BUT) I love pizza. It’s really hard to eat pizza and lose weight. I just increase my exercise level if I know I want pizza that week and I bank those extra calories for a couple of slices on a Friday or Saturday night.

JJ1703 · August 2020

Thank you very much. Ill look into a nice food scale and appreciate all the advice x

Carp614 · August 2020

You already know how to knock off a stone. You've done it plenty. But rice cakes suck and eventually you are going to want real food. So learn how to eat and enjoy real food that is healthy.

Take your time, invest in learning healthy things you like to eat. Do that one day at a time and be patient with yourself. Then you can grow into what you seem to want; a new lifestyle.

donidaily · August 2020

There's just one thing I wish I had known (great question!), and it's going to sound embarrassingly obvious: everyone is different. You have to find what works for YOU. That is the only way to form habits that will stick.

I have done WW (and I succeeded there twice, and regained twice), quitting sugar, low-carb (various versions thereof), eating umpteen small meals a day, I could go on. MFP is so simple though: I eat foods I like at times that work for me, and to lose weight I eat those foods in quantities that keep me in a calorie deficit. I actually love rice cakes! Everyone is different and that's so cool. Use these forums to help you stay focused and to learn from others but don't feel you have to be doing exactly what anybody else is doing.

One other practical thing: if you plan to weigh in daily get an app that averages out the number into long term trends. I use Happy Scale but have seen others mentioned here on the forums. It really helps me ride out fluctuations that are natural but can be discouraging.

I wish you the very best @JJ1703!

Nikonana · August 2020

Oh, boy, after reading your post and your comments about being depressed, I realize I am not alone. I am trying MFP again, as I know it works. I need to stop fooling myself that I look okay when I have my makeup on, good clothes, and my jewelry, and I do feel pretty when I do that and don't think about my weight UNTIL I get a glimpse of myself in a mirror or the reflection from a window!

party_lots99 · August 2020

I’ve just cancelled my weight watchers membership after realising that I’d essentially been the same weight for years, gaining and losing the same few pounds over and over. My advice is to scrap any diets that you have to pay for as they are making money from failure. Since switching to calorie counting, I have lost weight much more consistently and I feel in much more control. I don’t feel guilty about eating the chocolate or the crisps or having the wine because I can count them into my day/week and still be in a deficit. I am eating so much more than I was on WW (and have learnt what foods are nutritious and healthy) and I don’t feel deprived at all.
I’d also advice getting a bit active if you can as that gives you more wriggle room and makes me feel so much better. I’ve taken up running over lockdown and can really recommend the c25k programme! It’s made me feel mentally much better as well as physically.
Weigh everything, track everything, keep being honest and you’ll totally do it!

Walkingwithdogs · August 2020

Not so much what I knew but I'd advise you to read the success stories on this site...they will inspire you to keep going...I have (5st total) 4 & 1/2 stone I want to get off...I've already lost 6 3/4 lb since I started here towards the end of July...it's no quick fix, and I know it's going to get frustrating at times...but my inspiration at the moment is....

1 want to be able to post my own success story...

Good luck 😁

Cinder333 · August 2020

I have a history very similar to yours. I have done every diet on the planet. I have joined myfitness pal multiple times, had success for a few weeks only to quit. This time around I am feeling different. I have consistently been tracking for 60 days (for me that is a long time). I started at a higher calorie count, and gradually decreased. When I started I would go way over every day, due to terrible habits. But I kept coming back the next day. After a few weeks it seemed like I was adjusting to less food. I am far from a success story. 60 days in and 5 pounds down. But what I'm doing now seems sustainable. I am consistently riding my bike about 40 minutes a day. My tracking still isn't perfect - I sometimes snack late at night and haven't been accounting for it. So lots of room for improvement.

So my biggest lesson this time around is patience. I am planning right now to track for the rest of my days, and I have it down so it's much quicker. If I make a recipe I try to save it to make it easier to track.

I am also trying to make some changes to my overall daily food. I have lightened up our recipes, and try to eat healthier because I have found I can eat more if it's lower calories. I still do eat food I love though, so I have something to look forward to each day.

I think also trying to focus on non-weight goals has also helped. When I started this my blood pressure was high enough I was about to have to go on meds. Now it is high normal, and I don't think I will need them. My hip, knees and feet hurt all the time because of arthritis (I hope - I was worried it might be bone cancer). Now they have improved a ton.

Hang in there!

HeidiCooksSupper · August 2020

I found it helps to change what meaning of the word "diet" I use. One's diet is what one eats. Some diets are more healthy than others. Some cause weight loss, some cause weight gain. I, when left to my own devices have a disordered diet that results in me weighing twice what I ought. I am trying to correct my diet so that I weigh a healthier amount.

To do this and to approach a more normal weight, I must limit how much I eat in terms of calories. I am simultaneously attempting to avoid high calorie foods that lack nutritional value (cake, candy, white bread, white potatoes, etc.) and limit my fats by weighing a measuring things like butter or replacing it with other flavoring items with fewer calories per tablespoon like grated parmesan.

I am not "on a diet." I am attempting to change my eating habits such that my weight is more normal. My present week off logging and formal exercise is confirming that my old habits die hard. To achieve and maintain a healthy weight and medical health long term I will need to have new habits of a suitable amount of calories in my diet and regular exercise.

(I use a TDEE calculator and other information to set a calorie and macro target. I weigh daily to keep myself honest with myself. I normally log everything and exercise most days but am taking a week off at present. I resume logging on Monday and will do another 90-100 days before taking another logging and exercise break.)

quiksylver296 · August 2020

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

Diatonic12 · August 2020

We are what we repeat.

There's no such thing as the Finish Line. Getting a fresh start isn't the magic button or miracle cure for finding long term weight stability. Starting over and over and over with short term thinking only builds the skill of Hitting the Pause Button. Waiting for the perfect timing or perfect day to start is why it doesn't stick. It's consistency, consistency, consistency over perfectionism for the WIN.

Perfectionism is the mother of procrastination. Life has no pause button. There's no timeout for life.
We don't get to press pause for our job or family. There's no reset or reboot for a job or you will get fired.
Start showing UP for your life the way you show up for your family and job. Give yourself that amount of effort and respect each and ever day. Keep going.

Your next meal is your new beginning. Every few hours is your clean slate and new plate. There's no need to keep starting over and over. If you keep going you will always get something. Don't press pause and adjust the dials. Eating all the things and then dialing it in with another new diet is the recipe for eating it all back.

Over and over and over again.

Jackiefrost1013 · August 2020

In addition to what the others have said I would suggest getting help for the depression. I have struggled with depression for years and only recently was properly diagnosed with bipolar depression and anxiety. After months of trial and error I finally have the right meds and I’m in a great space mentally. Being there has allowed me to better address the physical aspect. I’m 5”1’ and had a starting weight of 298. Current weight is 274 and goal weight is 170. Your mental health is just as important. Your welcome to add me as well for support. Good luck on your journey 💜

eattrainprogress · August 2020

Given that you suspect you may have depression, I would recommend seeing a mental health professional.

Depression can make weight loss substantially more challenging, and more importantly it can make everything else in your life more difficult too.

Best of luck!

gcminton · August 2020

My first tip would definitely be to look into improving your mental health, as that is going to affect everything else.

Otherwise, be patient and be kind to yourself. You're restarting a very long term process and you're going to make mistakes, but you can't let that derail everything. You go off-plan and eat too much for a meal? Okay, do better at your next meal. Not "oh I blew it today, may as well just gorge now" and definitely not "well, I blew it on a Thursday so I'll just have one last hurrah and start over Monday" or if not Monday, then waiting for the first of a month or season or whatever. No. Just pick it up again at your next meal and carry on.

I wish I knew before that weight loss is not one-size-fits-all, and there are loads of people happily doing very different things that work for them. Figure out what you like, what you can stick to in the long run, otherwise you may be setting yourself up for failure once you reach your goal and then have to figure it out (or worse you just go back to eating the way you did before).

I also wouldn't keep searching for or relying on motivation, at least beyond the initial starting point. Motivation is fickle and fleeting, but determination can get you through. For instance, when I started I was VERY motivated by seeing the first bit of water weight falling off, but that doesn't last and fat loss is much slower. So that motivation had to be replaced by a stubbornness to stick to my plan and see this through.

I'm in a somewhat low point at the moment and having a hard time staying determined for every meal, but I do the best I can to make good choices at each meal. I'm also slightly motivated to stay on track to prove to a certain someone that I CAN do this, damnit. So I guess spite can be motivating... but still fickle and fleeting.

JJ1703 · August 2020

I want to do thank you all for your advice and support.

To those that have advised that I seek help for my mental health I will try to see about having a chat with a professional.

Again thank you for taking the time to help x

Things you wish you knew

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