Terrible week
mc62412
Posts: 195 Member
So I’ve been here but not here. Last week I had a HUGE bombshell dropped on me.
Are you ready for it ?? ( it’s going to be a little long )
I got a call from a woman who tells me MY bf of 9 years has been HER bf the last 2/3 years.
What the actual f***!
Total slap in the face. Like are u kidding me. We been together 9 years ! And been through hell and high water. That call TOTALLY flipped my world upside down.
I was on vacation from work this past week, so I’ve been doing things around the house that I’ve been asking to get done. So that kept me busy a bit. Tomorrow it’s back to work.
I told him he couldn’t stay here. So he hasn’t been home since I got that call. I get all the I miss you and I love you texts every so often. And I just don’t want to deal. Like no you don’t or you wouldn’t have done it ! Claiming it’s not true. Smh keep telling that story.
There’s so much to have to settle after being together for that long.
I think if all the crap I’ll have to do on my own now, like shoveling the snow, fixing things around the house, yard work. Not all hard things. Just nice that I didn’t have to do myself. Now I have no choice cause it’s just me. So ridiculous.
Needless to say this week has been an emotional roller coaster. I just want to fast forward to where the “ loose ends “ are settled and I don’t have to deal with it anymore.
How does someone do that, and then text that person all the time the dumb *kitten* that they text. You miss me ??? You love me ??? Awesome way to have shown it 😡
Anyways, this week has not been a good food week. I did fine for breakfast and lunch. But a few times for dinner it was take out. I just didn’t want to be bothered with weighing and measuring and cooking and planning.
I used it as an excuse to eat what ever I wanted. And I knew that’s what I was doing and did it anyway.
Today is the last day of my vacation from work, so I need to get it together.
I need to get back to focusing on being / getting healthy. I’ve made good progress so far, I don’t want this to put me in a spiral cause I can’t get a hold of my emotions.
Ugh, what a *kitten* week.
Are you ready for it ?? ( it’s going to be a little long )
I got a call from a woman who tells me MY bf of 9 years has been HER bf the last 2/3 years.
What the actual f***!
Total slap in the face. Like are u kidding me. We been together 9 years ! And been through hell and high water. That call TOTALLY flipped my world upside down.
I was on vacation from work this past week, so I’ve been doing things around the house that I’ve been asking to get done. So that kept me busy a bit. Tomorrow it’s back to work.
I told him he couldn’t stay here. So he hasn’t been home since I got that call. I get all the I miss you and I love you texts every so often. And I just don’t want to deal. Like no you don’t or you wouldn’t have done it ! Claiming it’s not true. Smh keep telling that story.
There’s so much to have to settle after being together for that long.
I think if all the crap I’ll have to do on my own now, like shoveling the snow, fixing things around the house, yard work. Not all hard things. Just nice that I didn’t have to do myself. Now I have no choice cause it’s just me. So ridiculous.
Needless to say this week has been an emotional roller coaster. I just want to fast forward to where the “ loose ends “ are settled and I don’t have to deal with it anymore.
How does someone do that, and then text that person all the time the dumb *kitten* that they text. You miss me ??? You love me ??? Awesome way to have shown it 😡
Anyways, this week has not been a good food week. I did fine for breakfast and lunch. But a few times for dinner it was take out. I just didn’t want to be bothered with weighing and measuring and cooking and planning.
I used it as an excuse to eat what ever I wanted. And I knew that’s what I was doing and did it anyway.
Today is the last day of my vacation from work, so I need to get it together.
I need to get back to focusing on being / getting healthy. I’ve made good progress so far, I don’t want this to put me in a spiral cause I can’t get a hold of my emotions.
Ugh, what a *kitten* week.
16
Replies
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Hugs. That really sucks. I don't have any magic words to make it better. You'll get through this.1
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corporatelawmom wrote: »Hugs. That really sucks. I don't have any magic words to make it better. You'll get through this.
Yeah it does suck big time. I’m just ready for it to be over so I don’t HAVE to communicate with him. Ugh. Thank you.2 -
He may show up to propose marriage 🤔0
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Maybe block his number/social medial for a few days or even weeks? That way you can decide when you're ready to talk to him to deal with the 'business' of splitting up. He screwed up, so I think its perfectly reasonable for everything that happens now to be on YOUR timeline.
Going back to work can help you get back into some sort of routine. And keep in mind, this journey to be healthier and more fit is all about you. Being single means you don't have to consider someone's wants/needs when you're planning out your day, and how you intend to use your time. Not much of a consolation, I know.2 -
Went through the same thing. Sure did. Invested waaaay too much time but I should've listened to my family. Take your cues from men. They know how to move on with reason and logic. Don't waste another day waiting around for closure or apologies. This experience is your teacher. Don't ever give someone that much of your time because we can't get it back. Think of all of the single parents out there without any help with the house or children. It's never easy but they deal.
You're right. You cannot take this to your job and don't lean on your coworkers. It's too much for them. Throw yourself back into your work and give it your all. Use this pain to your advantage. Let it work for you and not against you. Use it to catapult yourself out the door every single day giving it your all.
Next time, don't pick anyone for what they can do around the house and yard. When you become completely self-reliant and self-sufficient you might be amazed at what happens. Like attracts like. It wasn't meant to be.
People usually know within a 12-15 months if they've really found the one.4 -
Glad you had a vacay but not not that you had to spend the time stewing over someone else's mess.
So happy you returned him to The Streets from whence he came. Your "You Focus" so as not to get way off track is perfection!
🤗3 -
Wow okay i was not expecting that!!!
That is a complete mind-fu€ķ! And I'm not surprised that you wanted take out! Mate I wouldn't of even got out of bed if that happened to me!
Well done you for kicking him to the curb, you still got the other girls number? You could team up and call him out on all his BS!
I definitely agree with above posters about become self reliant, prove to yourself and him that you don't need him (because seriously you don't, pick up that shovel with a smile and get that snow gone)
Although ice never shoveled snow in my life lmao (UK) bet its killa though.
But hey, atleast you can burn extra calories that way
Definitely throw yourself into work, I to jobs around the home, keep busy but cry when you need to, he's hurt you, you can't be strong all the time but let it out and carry on x4 -
bootilicious wrote: »He may show up to propose marriage 🤔
Ha ! No thank you4 -
nanastaci2020 wrote: »Maybe block his number/social medial for a few days or even weeks? That way you can decide when you're ready to talk to him to deal with the 'business' of splitting up. He screwed up, so I think its perfectly reasonable for everything that happens now to be on YOUR timeline.
Going back to work can help you get back into some sort of routine. And keep in mind, this journey to be healthier and more fit is all about you. Being single means you don't have to consider someone's wants/needs when you're planning out your day, and how you intend to use your time. Not much of a consolation, I know.
You’re right. I do what I want to do. That’s why I was able to get so much housework done.
And the split has already been determined. There’s no going back from disloyalty.
3 -
Diatonic12 wrote: »Went through the same thing. Sure did. Invested waaaay too much time but I should've listened to my family. Take your cues from men. They know how to move on with reason and logic. Don't waste another day waiting around for closure or apologies. This experience is your teacher. Don't ever give someone that much of your time because we can't get it back. Think of all of the single parents out there without any help with the house or children. It's never easy but they deal.
You're right. You cannot take this to your job and don't lean on your coworkers. It's too much for them. Throw yourself back into your work and give it your all. Use this pain to your advantage. Let it work for you and not against you. Use it to catapult yourself out the door every single day giving it your all.
Next time, don't pick anyone for what they can do around the house and yard. When you become completely self-reliant and self-sufficient you might be amazed at what happens. Like attracts like. It wasn't meant to be.
People usually know within a 12-15 months if they've really found the one.
Yeah I wasn’t with him for what he could do for me. I’ve always been super independent. Just knowing that I don’t have that other support. I mean I’m doing it. I’ve done a bunch of stuff already. It’s just the point of the situation as a whole. Is messed up 👎🏼5 -
I know you weren't, I know...but the next obstacle is not attracting the same person in a different wrapper all over again. It happens on an unconscious level. Is he going to marry that other person. That's what happened to me but he only knew her for a few short months. I was his mother and she was his girlfriend.
4 -
Similar thing happened to me. We split but he is now engaged to the "other" woman in his life. So, I blocked all his emails, numbers, and I asked everyone I know to de-friend him from social media so I was not seeing all these pics of him with the new girl. Felt like I was punched in the stomach. Honestly it took me a long time to heal, lots of angry and sad days. However in time the pain is less. I'm so sorry this happened to you.4
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Diatonic12 wrote: »I know you weren't, I know...but the next obstacle is not attracting the same person in a different wrapper all over again. It happens on an unconscious level. Is he going to marry that other person. That's what happened to me but he only knew her for a few short months. I was his mother and she was his girlfriend.
No they aren’t marrying. Yeah I’m just going to enjoy peace and quiet for a while. “Finding” something is not something that is on my list. I’d rather be alone then that potentially happen again.4 -
Just wanted to say good for you for getting rid of him and wanting to move on. I saw on some show the other day people talking a our breakups and women tend to do the "but I invested so much time" and forgive the jerks. Glad to see there are strong, confident women who know there is better for them out there.
You've had a shock so forgive the take out transgressions and now it's time to just be happy and enjoy single life3 -
AliNouveau wrote: »Just wanted to say good for you for getting rid of him and wanting to move on. I saw on some show the other day people talking a our breakups and women tend to do the "but I invested so much time" and forgive the jerks. Glad to see there are strong, confident women who know there is better for them out there.
You've had a shock so forgive the take out transgressions and now it's time to just be happy and enjoy single life
I’ve gotta get him all the way out. He hasn’t stayed here but all his crap is still here. I packed up half of it. Need more boxes to pack the rest.
But he’s driving a car that’s in my name and that’s been more challenging to get settled. Supposedly he’s sleeping in it 🙄 which idk if I believe cause majority of things out his mouth are a lie2 -
😐📲 "Hello officer. I'd like to report that my car has been stolen by a homeless man."4
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Wow, what a shock, but you're handling it great. There's a website called chumplady dot com where you might find some good information and support. Best of luck to you!1
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😐📲 "Hello officer. I'd like to report that my car has been stolen by a homeless man."
I’m trying to not do that cause it’s not technically stolen. And I’m a drama free person. I don’t like it or want to deal with it. So I’ll give him until the end of the month. But if it’s not settled by then, then I’ll have no choice but to take it. I’m trying to avoid that2 -
Bottomline: I don't want you to be hurt. That's really it. I have been through all of this multi-cr@p. In the future, I promise you that if you ever run up against something like this you'll be so tuned in, it will make your head spin. Once is enough. It's the hardest number that you'll ever do.
I wailed and carried on. Stayed holed up in my bedroom. I'd see them on the streets or in their vehicle having a big time. They had an enormous wedding. If I was sitting on a dime I would've still had enough room left over to swing my feet. The good thing, we were maintaining our own households.
My only regret was not flipping the switch sooner. I did not need to waste another day on recovery time. It only blocked and prevented the really good things to come. I do take my cues from men. I live in a man's world and they do have the market cornered when it comes to moving on and finding someone new. Everyone can just eat their dust. They will not be deterred. Nothing gets in their way. I do admire that.
1 -
Diatonic12 wrote: »Bottomline: I don't want you to be hurt. That's really it. I have been through all of this multi-cr@p. In the future, I promise you that if you ever run up against something like this you'll be so tuned in, it will make your head spin. Once is enough. It's the hardest number that you'll ever do.
I wailed and carried on. Stayed holed up in my bedroom. I'd see them on the streets or in their vehicle having a big time. They had an enormous wedding. If I was sitting on a dime I would've still had enough room left over to swing my feet. The good thing, we were maintaining our own households.
My only regret was not flipping the switch sooner. I did not need to waste another day on recovery time. It only blocked and prevented the really good things to come. I do take my cues from men. I live in a man's world and they do have the market cornered when it comes to moving on and finding someone new. Everyone can just eat their dust. They will not be deterred. Nothing gets in their way. I do admire that.
It’s funny cause although I can’t say I’m not hurt, but I also wasn’t surprised by it. And that says a lot. I wish I flipped the switch sooner too but here I am.
The over all big picture of it all was just like, why am I dealing with this madness. But people do dumb *kitten* and over look a lot when they care about someone.
Now it’s just trying to get things settled and just enjoy a no drama life.5
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