Understanding Your Relationship To Food

Since I've been logging my calories and trying to be in deficit for the last 5 days, I've realized both that the food I typically eat are very high in fat, and that 2000 calories is practically a starvation diet, the way my body is responding.

I've discovered that changing how much I eat is not enough. I've got to change WHAT I eat. I eat a lot of cheese, I eat things like mayo and condiments and (too much) olive oil. These high calorie add-ons are calories I could be spending on massive amounts of vegetables and fruit. Things that would make me feel full instead of starving.

I grew up on a meat and potatoes diet, supplemented by ample pizza and pasta. I've never liked vegetables much. And when I do like them they're doused in butter and aoli.

I can make these choices any more. I need to think about my heart, as well as my waistline.

I never thought I had a complicated relationship with food, but the truth is I've gained and lost weight quite a few times in the last fifteen years.

I resent not being able to eat ice cream whenever I want. I also don't want diabetes.

Trying to lose this last 20 lbs is teaching me some hard lessons. But I've never cared so much about my health.

I'm even thinking about breaking a very bad habit that I won't go into.

The good news is, I've got the exercise thing in the bag at the moment.

I had a meltdown about food choices at lunch today and this is not the first time this has happened to me when I am trying to be vigilant about logging and losing weight. When I find myself out to lunch, or in a social setting, where I have to choose on the fly, and I don't have a grip on calorie count and the nutrition facts of my options, I have horrible anxiety! Today I ordered and was absolutely paralyzed by the food in front of me. I didn't want to take the first bite! Trying to figure out what is prompting this reaction? I believe it is the uncertainty of how it will impact my diary for the day. And in addition, I think it is fear that I will throw my whole day away if I feel something is less than healthy? It was actually kind of frightening and it isn't a common reaction, but it has happened in the past. I found myself sitting at a table with tears in my eyes getting ready to lose it while staring at a chicken street taco!

jenkauff1 wrote: »

I thought it would be interesting to find out what others are doing to understand themselves and their relationship to food. It always seems to complicated, how we feel controlled by our obsession with comfort food and the way we use food to feel "in control." Those are my personal issues and I truly feel they are based in fear. I'm learning more about myself and I admit, it's a little uncomfortable. At 240 pounds and 50 years old, I know I am rolling the dice and that it will increasingly catch up with me the longer I'm walking around on the planet.

What are your experiences?

Jennifer K.

Comfort food is a single meal eaten on rare occasions. It connects you to a memory that you find comforting like a grill cheese sandwich your grandmother made you. Comfort food is not days, weeks, months of meals. If it causes weight gain that you do not find comfortable it can't be comfort food.

Continued excessive food is a depressant. It can depress you mentally and it can certainly depress you physically by adding limitations to your life and harming your health.

My food relationship has altered greatly in the last couple of years. On a normal day I eat my popcorn with no butter. I do not want the extra calories and I like it fine without it. On vacation I eat my popcorn with butter because I am relaxed on calories. It is a treat. If I eat popcorn with butter all the time it can't really be a treat. It can only be a normal snack.

This has nothing to do with actual popcorn even though it is true I rarely eat buttered popcorn normally.

Allowing "normal" to be calorie controlled with compromise and a lack of emphasis on MAXIMUM enjoyment/flavor/experience I have lost a ridiculous amount of weight and reclaimed having special food experiences on holidays and vacations. When everyday is treated like a holiday then no day is a holiday.

This is something I've been thinking about. I never understood why I overate. I often hear people who overeat say it makes them feel good when they eat, and that's why it's addicting. I don't feel good when I eat. However, it does kind of take me back to a time where I didn't care about what I ate, and I didn't have any stress. So I guess it just makes me feel calm.

Also, I grew up with a parent who is addicted to food. When we would eat together, they would finish their food and then pick off my plate. If we went out to eat, especially fast food, we would dump both our fries on one tray and share. It was almost like a race. If I didn't eat what I wanted fast enough, it was gone. So I guess in a way, I was afraid that if I didn't eat as much cookies, fries, ice cream, snacks, etc. at one time, then I wasn't going to get any or anymore. That might also explain why I eat so fast, even now. It's hard, but I'm trying to break the habit of eating fast, and trying hard to really chew my food.

I also noticed that I was eating over my daily recommended amount of fat. It tastes good. However, I've switched up my diet again, and am trying to eat no more than what is recommended to me.

I'm also a newbie to paying attention to macros and nutrients, and am trying to figure all that out.