So disappointed in myself.

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Hey y'all.. I had to create a new user name because I couldn't remember my other password, but my user name was xo sarahd if you knew me :)

I needed to vent and get this out. I had a very traumatic experience back in April that sill forever stay with me. Ever since then I have been on this downward spiral. I used to eat so well.. go to the gym 4 to 5 times a week and tan as well. I was down to 142lbs and my goal was 130. Now I gained from depression and issues, and I am back up to 163 pounds :( I really need motivation and the drive to push forward. I really want to be happy again and this body image has so much to do with it...

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  • sc1572
    sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
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    Welcome back and good for you for rejoining! So sorry about your experience.
  • kaitlynnesmommy
    kaitlynnesmommy Posts: 166 Member
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    Welcome back! Don't be hard on yourself! You've already taken the first step to the come back!
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    Welcome back. I understand hard times. It does make it hard to stay on track.
  • Colemanlo1
    Colemanlo1 Posts: 30 Member
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    I can totally relate. Hang in there girl! You will be back where you were in time.
  • Pancake86
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    Well you have took a great step coming back on here, so well done on doing that. Just think to the future and try to be positive, everyone here is in the same boat, most want to lose weight etc and everyone will support you!!!
  • StormyLlewellyn
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    The fact that you are back inspires me....
    I had given up for two years and let depression get the best of me..
    I understand I have been there, this is a hard faught battle..
    I really hope you come back and have success...
    Don't let the negative put you down shake them off because,
    We can't change what we did in the past!
    But we can change where we are going...
    If you have one of those bad days start a blog and get it out before it gets the best of you...
    I hope to see you back on here!!!
  • mdperry
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    Welcome back!! You've already made the most important step. You can do it and we'll all be here to help.
  • clioandboy
    clioandboy Posts: 963 Member
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    Don't be disappointed in yourself for taking a knock, be proud of yourself for coming back! Good luck! Xxx xxx
  • smurfette75
    smurfette75 Posts: 853 Member
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    Welcome Back!! Keep your head up!!! Today is a new day. We are all here to support you.
  • Sh1tsRainbows
    Sh1tsRainbows Posts: 1,227 Member
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    welcome back..we're here for you!
  • burnsrt
    burnsrt Posts: 4 Member
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    Glad you are back. Most of us have a lot going on in our lives that are setbacks. Sometimes it seems hard to get past the setbacks, but if we move forward and try not to look in the rear view mirror of life this can help. The past is behind us, it needs to stay there. We all need to do our best to look through the front windshield of life. You can do it again, just keep moving forward. All things are possible with God.

    You can do it again!!!

    Rose
  • LolliBlu
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    "Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or to lose."
    - Lyndon B. Johnson

    Sarah, So you may have lost one, maybe even feeling like you've lost a few (battles/issues, etc.), but you're here and you reached out. You know half the battle is admitting you're struggling or have a problem. I truly believe food is an addiction and just like we get help if we're drug addicts or sex addicts, we get (and if we recognize it on our own we ask for) help. Well here it is, plain as day.

    Rules of light thinking:
    1. Be Nice - especially to yourself, you're allowed to have some blips on the radar - NO ONE is perfectly perfect.
    2. Breathe - it's the best form of slowing your 'roll' and regrouping your thoughts and what you want to do, not what you've done.
    3. Behave - behave like you already succeeded in meeting your goal, envision who you are, what you look like, feel like, talk like, hold your body, imagine the decisions you make throughout the day. Vision planning is great in making the future a reality in your present.

    Oh and I forgot do 1. over and over again until you get that right. BE NICE TO YOURSELF. You have to love yourself, forgive yourself and motivate yourself, even if it is in baby steps, baby bites...after all we were all babies once, this is just one area we're still trying to mature in.

    Much Love, Health and Happiness,
    ~LolliBlu
  • drdenise
    drdenise Posts: 87 Member
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    So many of us have "been there, done that" and felt exactly like you. After my dad passed away, I had that same downward spiral, which was made worse by a bad relationship with the man cheating on me. I decided I needed to take charge and be the person I wanted to be. I set a goal of competing in a triathlon, have lost almost 35 pounds during that journey, completed my first triathlon at 48 years of age, am in close to the best shape of my life! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! It ain't easy, but what in life that is that worthwhile is easy? Your health, your mental well being, all of that is soooo important! Every day, it is hard to be motivated to work out, to watch calories, and there will be many days where you eat too much and the wrong things, but so what! Get back up on the horse and move ahead the next day! Allow yourself some treats! Be good to yourself! GOOD LUCK AND BE WELL!! ;)
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    You should be proud that you recognize an issue and are confronting it.
    Good Luck.
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
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    IF this trauma affected your quality of life & you feel it will continue to you really should see a therapist & talk it out. You might need medication to help you sleep better if nothing else.
    Drink lots of water & try to get some exercise. Try maybe some aversion therapy (or diversion) anytime you find yourself thinking about it - STOP! distract yourself - groom the dog, paint your nails, exercise, call a friend - anything to STOP yourself from going back to it
    A therapist would help by giving you coping tools
  • gloryrest
    gloryrest Posts: 47 Member
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    Coming back is good. You will have to find the internal strength but the encouragement is here. For me, I'm looking at this weight loss journey as a healthier lifestyle with a lifetime timeline. So there will be A days and then Z days but they are all good and possibilities to get to the goal of living healthier and happier. Take your time. Don't rush yourself. Disappointment can't be apart of this journey only hope and excitement . Do what's within your limit and enjoy YOU!