My Kriptonite: Restaurants

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Replies

  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,145 Member
    edited October 2020
    @Lastchancetochange

    Re: your brain, the money, the full experience and feeling dumb.

    I think our brains hate weight loss. Our brains hate change, but they seem to hate weight loss in particular. They are always looking for a way to do us in.

    I’m not sure what kick I get from eating out. I’m perfectly content going to a local diner and ordering an egg white omelet with sliced tomatoes. I think it has a lot to do with how our household operates. Dinner out with the kids, Applebees, Chili’s or the local taco place was more relaxed than the house. We both worked, even if we were all together for family dinner, the house was more work for my wife. No way would she sit and let me or the kids rum the kitchen.

    So the least important thing about being out with the family was me. From a weight loss perspective I was better off at the house with my food scale, measuring cups and precooked meals that I made on Sunday. All I needed was to be out with the family and not blow up my program. Same if it was just me and my wife, it was date night, our chance to be out. Those concerns may not be the full experience but they were enough.

    Money? Avoid ordering drinks and the tab changes significantly. But its just a fact that some things in weight loss cost money.
    I’ve paid for food and thrown it out when I suddenly came to my senses. Lean protein seems to cost a lot. Just how it is.

    Feeling dumb. It’s that voice in your head trying to wreck you. Weight loss is a 2 part undertaking- eating in a calorie deficit and living with it. Finding ways to live in the world within some reasonable limits is not dumb. Push back. Finding workable compromises is smart. Go back and consider why you want to lose weight. Do you think its the smart thing to do? Support your decisions. The voice in our heads can’t stop, but we don’t need to defeat it. We only need to fight it to a draw.
  • Lastchancetochange
    Lastchancetochange Posts: 146 Member
    88olds wrote: »
    @Lastchancetochange

    Re: your brain, the money, the full experience and feeling dumb.

    I think our brains hate weight loss. Our brains hate change, but they seem to hate weight loss in particular. They are always looking for a way to do us in.

    I’m not sure what kick I get from eating out. I’m perfectly content going to a local diner and ordering an egg white omelet with sliced tomatoes. I think it has a lot to do with how our household operates. Dinner out with the kids, Applebees, Chili’s or the local taco place was more relaxed than the house. We both worked, even if we were all together for family dinner, the house was more work for my wife. No way would she sit and let me or the kids rum the kitchen.

    So the least important thing about being out with the family was me. From a weight loss perspective I was better off at the house with my food scale, measuring cups and precooked meals that I made on Sunday. All I needed was to be out with the family and not blow up my program. Same if it was just me and my wife, it was date night, our chance to be out. Those concerns may not be the full experience but they were enough.

    Money? Avoid ordering drinks and the tab changes significantly. But its just a fact that some things in weight loss cost money.
    I’ve paid for food and thrown it out when I suddenly came to my senses. Lean protein seems to cost a lot. Just how it is.

    Feeling dumb. It’s that voice in your head trying to wreck you. Weight loss is a 2 part undertaking- eating in a calorie deficit and living with it. Finding ways to live in the world within some reasonable limits is not dumb. Push back. Finding workable compromises is smart. Go back and consider why you want to lose weight. Do you think its the smart thing to do? Support your decisions. The voice in our heads can’t stop, but we don’t need to defeat it. We only need to fight it to a draw.

    Thanks, awesome message. You clearly understand where I am at. Managed not to eat out in all the weekend and this has been the first in months, so some good news.

    Day after day, meal after the battle must continue.
  • FibroHiker
    FibroHiker Posts: 344 Member
    Most restaurants have their menus and/or nutrition information available online. When going out for a meal with friends I look up my options ahead of time and figure out how the different choice will factor into my goals for the day. Some days I'm able to eat more, some days not. If I'm know I'm going to have a glass of wine I plan for that too.

    Last Thursday I went to a food and wine pairing event with some friends after work. To stay within my goals for the day I ate a light dinner beforehand and skipped the food at the event. I also meet some friends for dinner every Tuesday. Lately that means that Tuesday nights are cedar planked salmon, quinoa and veggies night.

    It can be done. Plus, it's easier to stick to your goals when you make the decision ahead of time.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    NovusDies wrote: »
    The food you can control, you may just not want to. The concern is the alcohol. If you feel compelled to drink and you cannot get it under control yourself you may need help.

    If you can control both then it is up to you to stop listening to your own lies and stop allowing your inner child to call the shots. This was what I had to do. I believe in letting my inner 6yo have the treat but only, now, on my more mature terms. At least most of the time... I do slip up because old habits run deep but when it happens now I no longer believe the lies about it. I take responsibility and move forward.

    It is exceedingly rare for me to go to a restaurant and only order a salad. I make whatever I eat fit in my calories most of the time though. I do know the scale will temporarily go up because of the sodium. If you don't know this yet read this:

    https://physiqonomics.com/the-weird-and-highly-annoying-world-of-scale-weight-and-fluctuations/

    I really have more psychological pressure on the food than on the alcohol. Basically I have the all or nothing mentality in the restaurant because it's like "I need to get the most of this experience" so I basically have to have all the experiences ( starters, mains, desserts, beer, wine, bread ). In my house I can control myself more.

    What makes having every course and alcohol defined as getting the most of out of the experience?

    And that is exactly the same question that popped in my head when i wrote it. I don't really have an answer to that.

    That is something to explore.

    Is it a belief or is it a habit?

    Either one may originate from family or friends.

    The thoughts/cognitions that spring from this are ones to challenge. Write out everything you are thinking when you engage in this behavior. In another column write evidence to support why these thoughts are valid or helpful. The next one over write evidence why they are not valid or helpful.

    Another idea is to plan to have every course but bend the behavior so that you must eat each one at a different restaurant. If need be take only enough cash into the place for the food you intend to eat there plus a tip (if you tip). See how likely you are to actually go from place to place all the way through dessert even though you have your own permission to do it. If it is a habit this is adding an interruption and a hardship. It might also teach you that you can leave a place without eating something from every sections of the menu.

    Understand that there is nothing wrong with enjoying a multi-course meal if you are fully in charge and it fits in your calories or it is a rare occasion. Doing this is a special treat for me that I reserve for rare special occasions. The more rare I keep it the more special it is when I do it.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    Been thinking about you. Just imagine how much money you can save when you start cooking some meals at home and what you can do with it. Your choices are shaping preferences for the rest of lives. Yours and others.
    You can turn this ship around.
  • Carp614
    Carp614 Posts: 192 Member
    Any ideas on how to break this vicious circle ?

    My job was 80% travel per week pre covid. At least 3 days per week in hotels 45+ weeks per year. I literally ate in restaurants more than I ate at home for almost 15 years. These are changes I made that helped me lose weight and feel better:
    - Booze and soft drinks got replaced with water exclusively.
    - Fast food/car food changed. I dropped soda and then dropped french fries. Water and the main dish only helped some.
    - For a few months each Spring I went on some kind of restricted diet. One year it was a Daniel Fast, the next year I went vegan. It forced me to try new dishes. This helped me to break ordering habits that weren't healthy (I have a serious weakness for fish & chips).

    I like the idea of a temporary moratorium on restaurant food. That has certainly helped me. But we both know that isn't a practical long term solution. I had to develop mental discipline to make the hard choices. The good news I discovered is how quickly new choices became easier once the switch was made.

    I wish you good luck!