Avoiding the doctor because I’m an idiot.

Long story short, I lost 60 lbs 2017-2018 due to severe depression. I went to the doctor at my lowest weight to get meds for my mental health and eventually weaned off with the help of therapy. With my new found not depressed state, I have not-so happily gained it back. Recently I’ve been experiencing vertigo, insomnia and extreme fatigue. I made an appt for next week but I am SO full of anxiety about seeing her, unveiling my failure and I’m scared of what the blood work may show to my failure too. Anyways, I guess I’m just wondering if anyone has any experience with this feeling. I’m not so vain to think my doctor will think about me all day and talk about my fatness over dinner... but I can’t kick the worry. Thanks in advance.