Will I EVER feel skinny?

AnitaPsays
AnitaPsays Posts: 11
edited October 2 in Motivation and Support
I'm 24 and I've been overweight my entire life. Since the beginning of May I've lost 30 pounds and although I'm in the healthy range on the BMI and I know in my mind that I'm skinny, I still see myself as fat when I look in the mirror. I know this is typical and lots of women feel this way. Over 20 years of feeling fat doesn't just change over night. But what I want to know is if this feeling will ever go away. Will I ever be happy with my body? I go to the store and try clothes on, and even though my sizes are finally in the single digits, I still feel like it's just not good enough. I still see my stomach sticking out, my big thighs and rolls. Has anyone ever gotten over this??

Replies

  • meggylove
    meggylove Posts: 12
    I can totally relate to this post. It's hard to spend so many years obsessing about weight and not always striving to be thinner than what you are.
  • KaitieBug
    KaitieBug Posts: 559 Member
    i hear ya girl!! you WILL feel skinny someday, but you're right, it's not going to happen overnight!! i'm in the same boat...i know i look good now (mostly) but all i ever see is a round tummy and thick upper arms :sad: the best advice i can give you is to find things you DO LOVE about your body, and rock it!! "i despise my tummy, but my legs are HOT!!":smokin: that helps me, to admit my negative but find something positive to go with it :flowerforyou:
  • ladybg81
    ladybg81 Posts: 1,553 Member
    I'm working on it. I'm different than you though. I've always been thin. Then, I had some son and for about 3 years, I was fat; not overweight, but fat. I've lost all of the baby weight plus some but I still see that same body I lived in for 3 years. When I am dressed, I feel great about myself. I am almost in a 2 and have never worn a size that small before so I feel great with size 2's and XS tops. But, then I am standing in front of the mirror undressed, I still have those same feelings. Even though I am starting to see some nice toned abs, less giggly thighs and bum-bum, I still see the size-14-just-had-a-baby-gross-disgusting me. I am not sure if it ever goes away, but hopefully you will get to a point where you are at least satisfied. I'm 5'10 BTW if that matters.
  • LimeyTart
    LimeyTart Posts: 303 Member
    I still feel this way, even though I know it's not logical. I have no idea if it will ever change. It's hard :(
  • aehartley
    aehartley Posts: 269 Member
    Not only do I still feel/think that I am fat. Sometimes I find myself putting old clothing on I went from a (14 to a 6 ) and find myself shocked that they are to big. Or I will also find I wear them because I think I just feel whalish... I feel for you and I am sorry. Hopefully it gets better
  • TinaLTaylor79
    TinaLTaylor79 Posts: 140 Member
    I totally get what you are saying...although i was never over weight all my life....I still battled with weight for a long time...I gained 80lbs in 2 yrs and stayed that weight for almost 2 years....I lost it all in 10months and it took me awhile to realize that i was where i needed to be and i just had to maintain and stop thinking the scale should keep gong lower! If your at a healthy weight, your good....Be good to yourself and love yourself, be proud of where you have gotten yourself today!!!:) Being toooo skinny is not a good idea....if your in single clothes sizes, you are doing great and should embrace it!!:):):):) Maybe just try and tone more now...get more cut and lean!:)
  • tmiqueen
    tmiqueen Posts: 254 Member
    If you're within healthy range, you have to accept that God created everyone to look different and unique. Your unique look is what sets you apart from everyone else. Some people have bumpy noses, smaller breasts, a larger butt....but as long as you're healthy, you're beautiful just the way God intended you to be.
  • leilani♥
    leilani♥ Posts: 579
    I don't have an answer to your question but a compliment for your bikini pic. You look hot! :flowerforyou:
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    It's something you will have to work on internally and stop worrying about what you see on the outside. I'm down 45lbs since February. I still wear a size 16-18 pant but I'm also 5'9" so I think I wear it well. I took a pic in my bra and underwear last night and looked at myself and thought, "I'm getting skinny!" Of course no one else would think that but I am seeing myself as a completely different, confident person.
  • Kristhin
    Kristhin Posts: 442 Member
    I know what you mean. I've lost a total of 18lbs so far but now I want to lose 21 more lbs even though I never knew I'd ever be able to lose as much weight as I have. I still feel every bit as fat as I did before. =/
  • MochaMixAZ
    MochaMixAZ Posts: 844 Member
    My definitive answer: Maybe!!

    Even after a tremendous weight loss, my brain hasn't caught up... even six years later. I think it's a lot more to do with your mindset then your bodyset. Pictures are the best way for me to be more objective, because the mirror just doesn't do it for me.

    I feel healthier, but not thinner. Wacky.

    Your post is timely. Friends on my thread are doing flashback Thursday and posting old pictures of themselves as their primary photos. I did the same - and when I look at that compared to now, I CAN see a difference.... but I can't say I FEEL a difference. Another strange occurrence: the more weight I lost, the LESS confident I became. I really used to be OUT there: Large and in charge. I did public speaking, wore size 34 bathing suits, and had a great attitude. I am by NO means a wallflower now, but I find I have to work more at my confidence level.

    Best of luck to you!
  • sertcelik
    sertcelik Posts: 22
    I love this question... why.. because I go through the same thing. I didnt lose that much weight, but going from 160 to 127, I am thin. Or am I? LOL I still feel like the 160 pounder and that bugs me because along with that comes the poor self esteem. I still reach for clothes that are way too big thinking that's what size I am and see myself as bigger than people around me when I'm actually smaller. It's strange and if I could change this, I would!
  • merrillfoster
    merrillfoster Posts: 855 Member
    Yeah I'm in the same boat. I'm about a 4 (sometimes a 2) but I still feel fat and gross. I know I'm not, but when I look in the mirror, I see my giant stomach sticking out, giant thighs, etc. I'm 5'6", about 132, but feel like a cow still. Ugh!
  • rodneyderrick
    rodneyderrick Posts: 483 Member
    It happens to the best of us. I've accepted the fact that I'll never feel fit and skinny, but I don't say it out loud too much. It angers the obese people around me.
  • lisab64
    lisab64 Posts: 26
    Maybe it's an age thing (I'm 47) but I finally feel skinny (5'7" and 141 this morning) and LOVE what I see when I look in the mirror (naked or clothed) -- for whatever reason my "imperfections" aren't that glaring to me anymore. I think it's a real shame that I wasted my teenage years (and early 20s - back when I was last this weight) hating the way I looked cuz back that things were firm and perky. So hopefully someday you will like/love what you see in the mirror.. We are always hardest on ourselves and that is a real shame.
  • jmruef
    jmruef Posts: 824 Member
    It's not easy. I'm not qutie there yet myself some days but I love my body a heck of a lot more than I ever have.

    What's changed? For me...treating msyelf better and just realizing what I can *do*. I can do all 3 levels of Jillian's 30 day shred. I can do push ups. (Not many, but that's better than not ANY!) I can do the shred with 5 pound weights! I can run with my dog...until he decides to cut in front of me, sniff something, pee on something, etc. I have defined biceps. I DID THAT. ME. I created those! I'm still 40 pounds heavier than I was at my (icky) skinniest but I'm healthy now and I wasn't then.

    Buy some clothes that fit now that didn't before you started this. Get all "done" up - hair, makeup, etc - even if you don't have a special occasion. Do it because once in a while it's fun. :) Take a new set of before and after pictures. Make a list of things *you* can do now that you couldn't before, or couldn't as easily.

    Practice loving yourself. It really does help. Write a letter to yourself telling yourself how proud you are of all your accomplishments, how glad you are to be taking such good, loving care of yourself, etc. Sounds cheesy but what a nice thing to do - and you'll have it to refer back to if you're stuck in a bad mood.
  • LycosNyctereutes
    LycosNyctereutes Posts: 61
    I think the media has us expecting too much of ourselves. Why on earth do we think women need to look like airbrushed pre-pubescent waifs? Or guys look like bodybuilders with 2% body fat? Just because your abs don't look like Jillian Michael's after they've been airbrushed with make-up, doesn't mean you're FAT.
    If you don't feel healthy, change your habits. If you only "feel" fat when you look in the mirror (having achieved a healthy BW and BMI), then something is not right with your perception of yourself. Or maybe it's just your eyes. ;)
  • Buddhaboy
    Buddhaboy Posts: 60 Member
    Boy you hit the nail on the head!...I thought I was the only one thinking this
    I've been very lucky and have gotten TONS of support from my coworkers on my weight loss

    I lost about 70 pounds so far and have just about 25 pound to go...and I'm feeling like it's not good enough yet
    Maybe I'll feel better once I hit my goal,
    but right now when I look in the mirror I don't see a guy who's lost 70 pounds
    I see a 53 year old guy who's 25 pounds over weight
  • spim
    spim Posts: 31 Member
    If it's really getting you down you could try speaking to your doctor about some counselling, lots of people I know have had something called Cognitive Behaviour Therapy which seems like it could really help in your situation if you are unable to resolve it. :)

    Edit: I looked at your profile and seriously, you look amazing hun!
  • sinclare
    sinclare Posts: 369 Member
    I went shopping the other night and only bought shoes. I am down 2 sizes and still, when I looked in the mirror, I was horrified.

    In my case I have ED my entire life, so no matter how much I shrink, my perception is distorted.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    If it's really getting you down you could try speaking to your doctor about some counselling, lots of people I know have had something called Cognitive Behaviour Therapy which seems like it could really help in your situation if you are unable to resolve it. :)

    Edit: I looked at your profile and seriously, you look amazing hun!

    If you are a size 2 or 4 and unhappy with your size, I would seek help to improve your self esteem and work on your perception of yourself. Letting it go and continuing to struggle with your body could result in unhealthy habits.
  • lloydmel
    lloydmel Posts: 259 Member
    It's SO HARD! This society is crazy over skinny people... so it helps feed our insecurities! I think what you have to do, is when you are feeling good about yourself, take pictures and hang them up or get some post-its and write wonderful things about yourself that you like (even on your bad days) and stick them on the mirror.
    The more positive you can be about what you do like, the more you'll start to tell yourself those things instead of the other, not so great messages....
    When you look in the mirror, and hear those negative voices start to creep up, try to automatically say something good about yourself. Start telling yourself that you are great, and are a wonderful person... keep saying things outloud to yourself in the mirror, and you'll start replacing the bad messages with good ones. If you don't like your stomach, don't focus on it as much as something you do like about yourself...
    I am NOWHERE where I want to be, but after I briefly tug on the spots of my stomach, thighs and butt that I don't like... I start flexing my arm muscles or check out my back muscles or something that I love about how far I've come.
    You'll get there, but you have to work on your inner messages to yourself. Try to replace them with the positives! You can do this and you've come so far and should be proud of what you've done!
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