Nursing student not motivated

silentwolves
silentwolves Posts: 7
edited October 2 in Motivation and Support
Sigh....I need to vent!
Im an overweight nursing student, just starting my 2nd semester this fall. I've been steadily gaining weight for the last 8 years (IM 30 now) despite being an active sporty person. (I actually lost 15 pounds my 1st year of college!)
I feel like something is medically wrong with me thats causing me to gain weight, but have not figured it out yet. Im not the same person I was and I miss that alot! Im tired all the time, get sick more often that I used to and have stomach problems.

Earlier this summer my Gyno(who's a nurse practitioner) told me not to even worry about losing weight while I'm in nursing school!? I couldn't believe it...but part of her is right. I need to study! Then my doctor said not to really worry about losing weight either... Im so confused!

Im trying to count calories, and keep with in recommended totals to at the very least maintain my weight now, but it seems like so many things are out of my control. My boyfriend (who is over weight too) and I share a house with his parents. Before we moved in together with them my boyfriend and I did weight watchers. He lost a lot, me about 20 pounds. I maintained that for a while, but as soon as his mother started taking over all the cooking we both put on weight. She is the most headstong person you will meet! She would have a fit if we mentioned making small changes to her cooking. She'd have a fit if we offered to cook for ourselves too. My boyfriend and I have tried to come up with ideas without pissing her off, but it seems impossible. Shes also the kind that pressures you to go back for seconds and thirds. I cant believe how much she hounds my poor boyfriend.

Shes a good cook, but uses too much butter and crisco, and she thinks that the guys need meat and potatos with every meal because they work so hard. (I cant even tell you how many medications her husband is on for things that could be fixed with proper diet!)

I have depression on top of this all and it has taken a turn for the worse this summer. I never feel like fixing anything for lunch or breakfast, so its usually cereal or pop tarts for breakfast and peanut butter and jelly on white for lunch. The school cafeteria is attrocious and expensive, so buying lunch and school isn't a good idea. I have the worst cravings all the time for chocolate, so I try very hard not to keep it around the house, but the mother always has stuff out in the kitchen...

There are always cookies and desserts around the house too. If she makes a nice dessert and we try to decline she'll get mad and wont talk to you for days (Trust me, I've done it..and when 'momma' aint happy, nobody's happy!)

Im just at a loss right now. Im not even looking forward to school this year, which is VERY unusual for me-I've always loved school...

Replies

  • jamie1888
    jamie1888 Posts: 1,704 Member
    Sounds like you guys need to sit down with mom and have a little talk! Explain, gently, that you love her cooking, etc. However, you guys are concerned about your own health, etc and would like to make an effort to get healthy. Tell her you don't want to hurt her feelings or have her think it's her cooking; but, that you just need to take control of your own health! If she can't understand or faults you for that, well, then screw her! Why gamble with your own life to spare someone else's feelings?
  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
    First, what works for one person might not for another, so take what I say as possible suggestions, only. Hopefully, some brainstorming will help.

    Remember that small changes add up. If I were you, I'd start small and work up. I've lost 20+ and have noticed a definite improvement in my energy levels. I'm guessing you'll see the same if you lose even a little weight. It's kinda wasteful, but take a normal size meal and try to leave 1/8 to 1/4 of it on your plate at the end. If anyone says anything, tell them your eyes were bigger than your stomach.

    Next your boyfriends mother. Try to enlist her help on desert foods. Tell her you're dieting and really need her help. Tell her how much you enjoy her deserts, but you really need her help in cutting back on how much of them you eat. This might be a bit of a lie and I don't generally condone such things, but in this case I think it could really help with everyone's stress levels.

    Third, and this may be hardest with you in school, try to get 8 hours of sleep a night. I've recently read stuff about sleep and losing weight and depression.

    And, lastly, remember you can always vent on MFP!
  • upsydaisy2011
    upsydaisy2011 Posts: 39 Member
    Hi, really wanted to say hey, I'm in the UK but I'm a student midwife, I've just started year 2, semester 1 of my course (3 years). I definitely find it harder to lose the weight because at uni I want to eat comfort food from the canteen and when I am working on my placement I do shifts and it's hard to stick to a diet - especially when you work a night shift and you need a quick fix of energy but I'm logging on MFP, I'mplanning meals in advance to eat more healthily and am fitting in exercise when I can, at least 3 classes a week. I am starting to see a change.
    I think you need to talk to your boyfriend's Mom and make her understand that although you love her cooking you really want to lose weight and get healthy, if she gets annoyed that you want to cook then you just have to think what you want to achieve more - losing the weight or keeping Mom happy!! If you are feeling that you have little energy/tired etc you should pay a trip to your doctor, they might be able to take some blood tests to see if there is anything going on medically that is affecting your energy levels xxx
  • JessG11
    JessG11 Posts: 345 Member
    I can relate! I work full time in a pretty stressful career. I also got to school. I graduated in May and am in Grad school. Plus, I've done a 300 hour internship and I do lots of volunteer/committee work. All this equals stress!!! Stress and more stress!!! To top it off, my fiance' is also in nursing school...leading him to not be able to work full time. We decided to sale our house last year and move in with my parents since we both have two years of school left...it's tough...and I bought that house on my own...first home (I am also 30) and I had to let it go...so I got depressed too.

    I've always been overweight. I was active in jr high and high school with sports, but I ate mainly carbs and sugars so still remained overweight. The stress of working full time and school full time in the past three years have gotten me to where I am. The heaviest I've ever been.

    I have yo yo dieted....excercised for short periods of time...you name it....over the years I've tried so many things...

    here's where things are different for me this time around: I changed the way I think.

    I am overweight because I choose to be. I eat bad foods heavy in fat because I choose to. I don't work out because I choose not to.

    My step dad had to lose weight fast for a surgury. He lost 20 pounds in a month (and he wasn't really that overweight). I remember getting almost angry with him when we were talking about my weight loss. I believe that I have a sugar addiction and I guess I wanted an excuse to eat all the sugar I eat and he wouldn't give it to me. He told me that if I would put my mind to it, I could do it. It made me mad....but you know what....he was right.

    When you are really and I mean REALLY ready to change your body and your mind, you'll do it. If you think it's medical, get a physical. If your BF's mom is pushy with her food, learn to say no. You're 30!!!!! Time to start making choices for yourself and taking care of yourself!

    Hey I know as well as you do, as well as everyone else does that it's not easy. I still struggle with food...but the positive thing is I'm working on it. I still struggle with daily workouts...but I'm working on it. I'm stepping up to the plate. But it's taking my years to get here.

    I find it horrifying that your gyno and/or doc would tell you to not worry with losing weight. You know that's not correct.

    I know school is busy! Boy do I know! But you've got to find the time to take care of yourself....or in two years it'll be something else, on top of more weight to lose....DO IT NOW!!! Choose yourself now...your health now!!!! The you in two years will be so thankful!!!!

    You can do it!!!! Just put one step in front of the other and go!
  • Cbecons
    Cbecons Posts: 12 Member
    I agree with the Imelangley that said these are some brainstorming ideas for you. All are good ideas but you have to pick the ones that work for you!
    First things first. Depression is a BIG deal. This is something you should see someone about, it' rarely goes away alone and you have many stresses in your life.
    Nursing school is a BIG stressor. I am not sure if you are even doing clinical yet, but it's a lot of work. Stick with it. You can go anywhere as a nurse! I do know that one, hated being on the floor. I fought for it and found my niche in research!
    It has been suggested her to talk with your BF's Mom to see if she will listen. If not, start faking her out. My SIL lost 60 lbs and she had the same problem with her Mom. She got creative with the arranging of her food on the plate. She would push it around until it looked like she ate most of it. Mom offer more and say, I still have a bit left let me finish this first, but don't. I might work.
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