Anti-Diet vs wanting to lose weight vs accepting your body vs keto vs CICO vs bingeing vs....
PWR36
Posts: 8 Member
Hi... i'm struggling to say the least....
I want to lose weight and get fit and healthy but i really struggle with food. It's like the most i have to restrict even slightly, i binge! I can't stick to a plan.
I bought the Anti-Diet book and read that and intuitive eating, but i feel if i do that then i won't get the aesthetic i want...
I was going to give up sugar so i could not be a slave to my cravings but i binge a few days later and can't imagine a life without sugar forever...
I joinged an online accountability programme and lost over a stone in 6 months (spending $1000 for the priviledge) but developed a bingeing disorder (no purging), just consuming large amounts of food every few days as a result.
I am in the 'overweight' bmi category, not by much but just into at 10st 7lbs and 5ft 5. Would love to get down to 8st 7lbs through weight lifting and running. To feel and look strong.
I just feel miserable and do not know what to do... there's just so many messages out there. I know it's CICO but what happens when i fail that too as it's too restrictive...
I can't imagine giving up and just accepting myself as i am because i'm not happy with how i look but that's what i think the Health At Every Size movement is trying to tell me to do.
Today i just tried to forget about it all, put my scales away and vowed to never think of dieting again and i've binged straight away.
Wow what a rant/moan... thanks to anyone who read this far. Any one else in the same boat?
I want to lose weight and get fit and healthy but i really struggle with food. It's like the most i have to restrict even slightly, i binge! I can't stick to a plan.
I bought the Anti-Diet book and read that and intuitive eating, but i feel if i do that then i won't get the aesthetic i want...
I was going to give up sugar so i could not be a slave to my cravings but i binge a few days later and can't imagine a life without sugar forever...
I joinged an online accountability programme and lost over a stone in 6 months (spending $1000 for the priviledge) but developed a bingeing disorder (no purging), just consuming large amounts of food every few days as a result.
I am in the 'overweight' bmi category, not by much but just into at 10st 7lbs and 5ft 5. Would love to get down to 8st 7lbs through weight lifting and running. To feel and look strong.
I just feel miserable and do not know what to do... there's just so many messages out there. I know it's CICO but what happens when i fail that too as it's too restrictive...
I can't imagine giving up and just accepting myself as i am because i'm not happy with how i look but that's what i think the Health At Every Size movement is trying to tell me to do.
Today i just tried to forget about it all, put my scales away and vowed to never think of dieting again and i've binged straight away.
Wow what a rant/moan... thanks to anyone who read this far. Any one else in the same boat?
5
Replies
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I’m confused as to HOW CICO is restrictive.
I still eat chocolate, cupcakes, pizza, Chinese food, etc. I simply eat smaller portions that fit within my calorie goal (OR accept that I’m going to go over on some days if I want to eat too many goodies). I fail every single time I try to ban myself from eating something, so this time, I changed my lifestyle. I eat the same things as before, just smaller portions. I eat some additional filling items (more fiber). I’ve learned to only eat when I’m hungry vs when I’m bored.9 -
You’re so right. I think it’s just getting my head round eating some of the pizza and not the whole pizza..2
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Have you plugged your stats into MFP and got your daily calorie goal? Do you have a digital food scale? Are you weighing and measuring all your food and drink? Do that and follow it for a couple weeks. See how it goes and have patience. 1--you have to know exactly how many calories you're eating (binging or not-count em) 2--your calorie goal has to be realistic. If you set it too low, then you'll be liable to binge.
If you do all of this for a month and can't stop binging, then think about getting counseling. Sometimes the mental aspect has to be addressed first. Good luck.4 -
It took some work for me to figure out exactly what my triggers were. For me, that process included reflection and taking notes after a day that didn't go as well as I wanted it to.
It sounds like maybe you might be a perfectionist, you're looking for the perfect plan that will work for every kind of day and result in you never feeling restricted but somehow result in the body of your dreams. That plan . . . probably doesn't exist (if you find it, let me know!).
The truth I've found in my own path to sustainable weight management is that sometimes I need different plans for different days. The days I travel for work look very different than the days when I'm at home. Mondays often look different from Sundays. Heck, a Sunday during football season may look very different than a summer Sunday! I don't have a lot of hard and fast rules, it's more like guidelines that I usually observe . . . but sometimes decide to not observe. In some ways it's harder to observe yourself and make your own guidelines than it is to follow the rules that someone else says worked for them . . . but I also think it is more sustainable in the long run.
When you're actively losing weight, you're aiming for a calorie deficit. For most people, this means one will feel some level of restriction. It sounds like just that FEELING is enough to trigger you right now. It might be worth exploring what is underneath that feeling. For me, it was resentment that I needed to do ANYTHING to manage my weight, when my perception was that others didn't and they had the type of body that I wanted to have. What I realized is that EVERYONE with a slender body is restricting themselves to the energy needed to sustain that body, they just may be doing it without any conscious effort (for example, they don't like to eat high quantities of calorie dense foods or they just aren't that hungry). Or maybe they ARE doing things to restrict, but they just aren't advertising it. It doesn't matter, what mattered is that me feeling anger or resentment over that was absolutely useless. It wasn't going to change my situation one bit! I had to grapple with these feelings, but doing it made it possible for me to begin consistently implementing a reasonable deficit without feeling restriction. I looked at it like this: I just need a trick, a tool, to do what slender people are able to do without consciously trying to do it.
Now you may have a different feeling underlying your behavior, weight management is never a "one size fits all" thing.
The point isn't to never feel restriction, because I think everyone is going to have that feeling, in one way or another, while losing weight. The point is to figure out how to manage those feelings and how to implement restriction in a way to minimize the times when it feels overwhelming.12 -
I have an exercise that asks what would you do if it was required for you to be in some calorie deficit for the rest of your life with no expectation of the scale going down?
I ask this because sometimes it helps a person break out of weight loss mode and move into mindset of living their life with a calorie deficit. In other words it is normal life with a few less calories in it. Weight loss becomes a bonus prize.
The other thing it might help do is ask what can I live with for a very long time? I will still have holidays, vacations, a desire for treats, and the occasional whole pizza. I need to find a lane that gives me as much as I can get BUT leaves me in a calorie deficit most of the time. Finding that lane is a trial and error process.
I am not saying this will help you. It may not. Nothing helps everyone. It is an idea to throw against the wall and see if it sticks.7 -
What is your calorie goal when you are trying to eat at a deficit? What if you tried a smaller deficit? And tried an 'everything in moderation' approach?
And how did you arrive at your final goal? If focusing on the end result is just too much, perhaps take it 5 pounds at a time?3 -
@PWR36 : You have hit the hardest quandary of life: How to balance your natural tendencies with rational override. Millions of years of evolution drive our natural tendency to overeat. Humans have evolved to be able to store several weeks of energy in our bodies and that has served us well for most of our existence. At this time in 1st world societies, food is at historic high levels of abundance and also is historically inexpensive in terms of what fraction of our effort goes into procuring it. So, do we overeat: hell yes!
It is entirely up to you how much you want to modulate your behavior. I would start by asking big questions like what do you want to accomplish and what kind of person do you want to be. Care and maintenance of your body should ideally be in support of your personal goals, not so much in support of presumed expectations of others.
In short: Your life. Go for it. Best of luck!5 -
You’re so right. I think it’s just getting my head round eating some of the pizza and not the whole pizza..
Personally, as a newbie to doing weight loss in a sustainable and healthy way, I know there are foods that I am not able to eat in moderation right now. Because I want to eat the whole pizza, I absolutely will not buy a whole pizza. I can have pizza but I must purchase it in a single serving. This will be my strategy until I feel I'm at the point where I can have a large quantity of a tempting food in the house and not eat it all in one sitting, and if I'm honest with myself, I might never get there and in that case this rule will become permanent.6 -
Thanks soooo much @amart4224 @Jthanmyfitnesspal @nanastaci2020 @NovusDies @janejellyroll @snowflake954 @Dogmom1978
You all have given me such a boost and alot to think about. Feeling so much more positive today. Just focusing on CICO and lots of walking to burn my calories.
I've settled in at 1400 a day and then walking (with a bit of running) to burn off around 500 a day.. with my TDEE that puts me at losing 1-1.5 pounds a week which is great.
Listened to a great youtube video by Jillian Michaels who also helped just solidify how i'll move forward with MFP - it's simple stuff on CICO that i'm sure you all already know! But it helped to hear it so succinctly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmQzZwH6Nxw
THANKS ALL!!2 -
Ok, so if you're really eating 1400 calories and actually burning 500 calories walking then you'd only be eating 900 calories. That is far too little. However, you don't say how heavy you are and how much you walk. For my not very high weight, walking for 500 calories would be roughly 20km.2
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Hi @yirara I'm 5ft 5 and 10st 7... so i looked at my TDEE which was that i burn 1600 cals a day (sedentary job)... then i added 500 calories to burn each day through cardio (walking) so 2100 burning total. If i eat back 1400 a day then i'm in a 800 calorie daily deficit, x by 7 days a week) and i'm burning 5600 a week which = roughly 1.5 lbs (if a pound is 3500 calories)
Too aggresive? Or have i worked this out all wrong0 -
And also i walk 15,000 steps a day which is roughly about 12km... not 100% on how many calories this is though0
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So that's about 147lbs. Using the tried and tested equation of weight in lbs * distance in miles * 0.3 you'd need to purposefully walk more than 11 miles each day to burn 500 calories. Does that sound realistic? This is not including the steps you do for your everyday chores as those are included in your activity setting.
But yes, your expectations are too high as you only have a little bit to lose. You should never eat under 1200 calories net. That means including all exercise. And yes, it will be slow. Just eating 1400 calories and exercising for 500 (if true, which I doubt) comes down to only eating 900 calories per day. Your body needs nutrition, otherwise you'll crash.3 -
Got it got it... ok so i should aim to eat around 1600 and then burn 300 a day... get net 1300 a day calories... based on that (if a pound is 3500 calories and my TDEE is 1600... it will take me nearly 12 days to lose one pound? That doesn't sound right? Sorry, so many questions! Just want to make sure i'm doing it right... thanks for your help too!0
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So let me see if I did this right. You are 5’5” and female. You weigh 147lbs and you want to get to 119lbs? That is towards the lower end of normal weight. So, yes, 12 days for a lb is about right. Roughly 1/2 a lb a week with so little to lose is a realistic goal. Your goal weight may or may not be realistic though, only you can determine that. I would recommend a higher goal weight with some body recomp and see how that goes and then you can always decide to lose more later. I would personally get discouraged trying to achieve the low end of normal for my height (5’6” with a goal weight of 135 and when I get there, I can reevaluate if I want to lose more or not).
You will have to be very strict with calorie counting and make sure everything is accurate (calories, exercise, etc) to get to and stay at 119 at your height.3 -
Since you like reading I have one more book for you. Lean Habits for Lifelong Weightloss by Georgie Fear. Nothing completely novel ideawise (if you're read a lot of diet books) but she packages her advice concisely with a cheerleader's "can do" attitude. She focuses on habit building and long term success. The author also has a Facebook group that she's active in, or was, for advice and support.
Maybe consider taking a step back from weightloss and focusing on strengthening your self restraint. It sounds like you're already half way there. Make that your goal. Small daily habits do build on each other and make for a happier healthier you in the long run.2 -
Consider slowing down. 1.5 or even 1 lb per week close to a healthy BMI is aggressive.
A slow plan that you will actually follow is a lot better than an aggressive plan that you won’t. Try to get the time out of your head. The calendar is not a weight loss tool. Read this board regularly and you’ll see how many people wreck programs that are working because of the time issue.
Big picture- our mission is to try to learn to live with some reasonable limits. There’s no diet secret. The way to lose weight is well known, it’s a calorie deficit. An effective weight loss plan has 2 parts- the calorie deficit and living with it. People tend to go all in on the deficit and try to beat themselves into living with it. Generally doesn’t work for long.
Give yourself a break. Quit counting the days. Maybe even put the scale away for awhile. Try to focus on making a process you can control. The process is more important than the numbers.4 -
Oh man I have struggled with dieting ADD also!! I’ve tried so many things and just can’t restrict without binging later. That’s why CICO is the only type of eating that is sustainable. I definitely miss days of binging (I think it just feels like freedom for some reason) but I always have to remind myself of my end goals. So much good advice in this thread though. My biggest problem is impatience but I liked what someone said about forgetting about time, get rid of the deadline because that adds so much unnecessary stress. I find it really helps me to exercise—to deal with stress and clear my head and to give me a little more wiggle room with my daily eating. I even allow myself one evening a week where I don’t worry about counting and just relax and eat what I want. However that is tricky because one binge can easily lead to more. But there is a finite amount of self control we have so give yourself some grace if you have a bad day or overeat twice in a row or whatever. It’s not a race it’s a marathon!1
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It sounds a bit like you're running round trying to grab at every 'quick fix' and then getting discouraged when it's not working quick enough or it's too restrictive for you (and trust me have done that for a LOT of years!). If you 'ban' yourself from having things then you're just going to want them more, which leads to binging, feeling stupidly guilty, thinking you have to 'extra restrict' to make up for it - and the whole cycle starts over again. Try to think about a longer term way-of-eating - that means that you're still allowed treats and foods you love like pizza, but you learn to have them in moderation and balance. Eg, if pizza is one of your craving foods then you could just stick to a couple of slices instead of the whole thing, you could look at lower calorie alternatives (tortilla pizza is really quite nice), you could add in an extra exercise session to burn it off etc.
It's not easy at first and there will be blips and back-sliding as you figure out what will actually work for you. The important thing to realise is that weight loss is never a straight line, it's a heck of a lot of ups and downs, so be kind to yourself and hopefully it goes generally in the right direction0 -
I think something where you don’t feel you are restricted might be helpful to start with. I’ve had to evolve in my diets, some I wasn’t in the right mind set for. If you aren’t ready you aren’t. For me it’s very mental. The first diet I had real success with was lose more choose more with Chris Powell. It’s carb cycling and it taught me a lot! What is a portion, that I can wait a day to have a craving as long as I know I can have it, how to cycle calories and being able to have a free day with limits I felt like I wasn’t dieting. I never had a urge to cheat ( that never happened before) and I learned about carbs and how they affect my body. He is very nutrition focused on whole real foods not prepackaged stuff. It opened my eyes to what calories are and how to shop with them wisely ( do I really want to spend 300 calories on something that will leave me hungry later) and he allows for the free day which really eventually teaches you on its own through your choices! Soon you won’t choose the things you were saving for all week like mine was doughnuts and a bunch of junk and I noticed it made me sick. Pretty soon I was naturally choosing same foods I ate all week!just I could have more of it. On that day. I’m really greatly cause it taught me I had portion distortion as well.2
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