I Need Help and Encouragement! <3

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Alright, so it’s Day 2 with my weight loss plan. 200 pounds to lose!


I always considered myself as a tough girl that can fight through any kind of temptation. I’m determined and have strong will power. But why is losing weight and being devoted to a healthier life style such a struggle and so complicated??! I mean, becoming healthier and in better shape is all I want.


Every time I failed, I kept promising myself that it won't happen again, and it would be the very last time I would ever eat like this. However, when I become really hungry and crave unhealthy foods I would choose comfort over health. :ohwell: I guess I should force myself to like the feeling of being hungry..? (But not in an unhealthy way.)


I’d been promising everyone for the past 2 years that I would lose this weight and that I would make a huge, healthier lifestyle difference. Over time I would have my ups and down differences. I would go a few weeks or even months with working out every day along with eating healthy. But after I would feel alone, depressed, and discouraged I’d usually fail. Or when I got too comfortable with anything, I would let go of myself.


I weighed my very heaviest when my boyfriend (now fiancé) and I started dating. Unlike me, my fiancé is thin and is in great shape. I’m so lucky because he loves me for who I am which is really hard to find. He would tell me like every 5 seconds how beautiful I am (even though I weigh 340 pounds!).


Although he never asked me to lose weight for him, I want him to be proud of me. More importantly, I want to be proud of myself and be healthy again. :smile:


This MFP site has been wonderful to me. I very much appreciate all the love, support, and encouragement I receive from everyone on here! I want to put my whole heart and mind into my dramatic weight loss.


After everything being said, does anybody have some tips or motivation?? Anything will help. Thank you!!!


-Kristen :heart:

Replies

  • SKP1986
    SKP1986 Posts: 392 Member
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    Whenever I am starving I always go for almond butter and celery. I used to hate vegetables and nut butters, but love them now. Of course, this is only a good solution if calorie intake is fairly low for the day.

    As far as motivation, you can keep a list on hand of reasons WHY you chose to take this step.

    I buy one or two articles of clothing in a size I CAN'T fit into yet to give myself a goal. Every time I see my new jeans it makes me work even harder.

    I have friends that are doing this too and we are constantly discussing weight loss tips and stuff over AIM or text messaging. We share recipe ideas, snack idea, everything.

    Another fun thing to do is experiment with different ways of eating. I've recently cut my carbs from grains in HALF and am feeling more satisfied and more energized than I ever have.

    Most importantly, find something you LOVE and use it for exercise. There is nothing that is more relaxing than a long walk, and the more you walk the longer you are able to do it for. When I started walking I was miserable if I stayed out for more than 10 to 15 minutes. The point is just o get out there and do it.

    The best part of all of this is that you have a fiance that loves you NO MATTER WHAT! That is awesome! Use hi support and encouragement, too. Plan out little non-food rewards for yourself and for you and him to do together! That way when you reach a goal weight/ goal size you have something amazing to look forward to. I am not letting myself get another body modification until I hit a certain weight. Find something that works for you.

    And as always, you can message me or something whenever you want!
  • jmelyan23
    jmelyan23 Posts: 1,664 Member
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    I think the best bit of advice I ever got was take it ONE day at a time. That way, you'll never get too overwhelmed and if you mess up, it's just one day--tomorrow will be better. Just got to keep your goal in your mind always!

    Feel free to add me for more support, I'm always happy to help. :flowerforyou:
  • rob314
    rob314 Posts: 7 Member
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    Ive lost 58lbs so far but my goal is near enough the same as yours.

    I found a good way is to make healthier versions of foods I like. Example: I love pizza so I just make them myself with pasta sauce and mozarella on pitta bread and grill them. Its important not to make your daily allowances too unrealistic, keep calorie intake above 1200 and also important to not lose heart if you have an off day. I have had several over the last few months and I dont let them put me off my goal.

    When it comes to exercise its important to do something you enjoy, if like me you hate treadmills theres no way you'll run on one every day for 2 years. I take walks in the morning and play badminton.

    Good luck with achieving your goal

    Rob
  • Bluejay789
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    Send me a friend request and I will send you some tips I have learned from my mistakes so you do not make them.

    Welcome by the way.

    Claire
  • fionat29
    fionat29 Posts: 717 Member
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    I think a good tip is to break down the weight loss. If you think about the number 200 too often it will grow to impossible dimensions. Try thinking in blocks of 10lbs, each 10lb lost is 1/20th of your target met. So far I've lost 25lbs by going 7lb at a time. 7 because I'm English and we still work in stones and pounds. Lol!
    Anyway, it's all about mini goals, you can do it!! We're all here to help you. :flowerforyou:
  • smagner
    smagner Posts: 10 Member
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    My big problem is boredom. Even if I'm not hungry, I'll eat when I'm bored. I'm also trying to quit smoking (day 3 no cigarettes!) so this is especially difficult right now. So far I've been playing with my dog, going for walks, and trying to not sit around at all. I also recently bought the kinect and I play dance central every time I have nothing else to do. It's helped me so far.

    Another big thing for me is figuring out when I am actually hungry. I know It sounds weird. I almost always think I'm hungry. When I stopped to think about it I realized I'm not always hungry I just feel "empty". I don't know how to explain it but I think it's boredom and not hunger. Anyways, I've tried to slow down and think about whether I need to eat.

    Sometimes just drinking some water will help. I read some article a long time ago that said 80% of the time you think you're hungry you're actually thirsty. I don't know if that's true but drinking more water has helped me.

    The main thing is to find something to keep your mind off eating, which is ALWAYS easier said then done.
  • pvtnick
    pvtnick Posts: 18 Member
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    First and most important make sure you set small goals instead of focusing on the big one. You are trying to lose a lot so I would just focus on say 5 lbs at a time. E.g. you are at 250, focus on getting to 245. That is my first way to stay motivated.
    Make plans to change little things at a time instead of trying to change all your eating habits at once. It was easier for me to focus on adding a bottle of water a day and eating a few mouthfuls less at each meal than to try and change my diet all at once. Making those little changes is a great way to get results and results are motivating.
    If you need more everyday motivation try this.Say its gym/workout time and you don't feel like going. Go for 5 minutes. If at the end of 5 minutes you don't want to do it anymore then it's ok to leave. That's how I drag myself to the gym and I've never left without doing a decent workout.
  • NanciKay
    NanciKay Posts: 86 Member
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    I found this site in December, 2010.....obviously didn't commit. My co-worker and I are now changing our lives together. Aug. 25, 2011 is my start date. Thx to this site I "see" what I eat because I log every....thing I eat! You have found the perfect site for help and encouragement!! I read success stories everyday....look at others who have posted their before and after pics...and I have set a few short term goals for myself. Feel free to contact me. :flowerforyou:
  • Balanced_Life
    Balanced_Life Posts: 229 Member
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    I recommend that you read "The Body Fat Solution" by Tom Venuto ( http://www.amazon.com/Body-Fat-Solution-Principles-Maintaining/dp/1583333290/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1315521708&sr=1-1).

    Its an excellent book on all aspects of losing weight, and also has great tips on how to stay motivated -- and to make the weight loss process as painless as possible. In fact, he motivates you to WANT to live your healthier lifestyle!
  • phatsoslim
    phatsoslim Posts: 257 Member
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    Alright, so it’s Day 2 with my weight loss plan. 200 pounds to lose!


    I always considered myself as a tough girl that can fight through any kind of temptation. I’m determined and have strong will power. But why is losing weight and being devoted to a healthier life style such a struggle and so complicated??! I mean, becoming healthier and in better shape is all I want.


    Every time I failed, I kept promising myself that it won't happen again, and it would be the very last time I would ever eat like this. However, when I become really hungry and crave unhealthy foods I would choose comfort over health. :ohwell: I guess I should force myself to like the feeling of being hungry..? (But not in an unhealthy way.)


    I’d been promising everyone for the past 2 years that I would lose this weight and that I would make a huge, healthier lifestyle difference. Over time I would have my ups and down differences. I would go a few weeks or even months with working out every day along with eating healthy. But after I would feel alone, depressed, and discouraged I’d usually fail. Or when I got too comfortable with anything, I would let go of myself.


    I weighed my very heaviest when my boyfriend (now fiancé) and I started dating. Unlike me, my fiancé is thin and is in great shape. I’m so lucky because he loves me for who I am which is really hard to find. He would tell me like every 5 seconds how beautiful I am (even though I weigh 340 pounds!).


    Although he never asked me to lose weight for him, I want him to be proud of me. More importantly, I want to be proud of myself and be healthy again. :smile:


    This MFP site has been wonderful to me. I very much appreciate all the love, support, and encouragement I receive from everyone on here! I want to put my whole heart and mind into my dramatic weight loss.


    After everything being said, does anybody have some tips or motivation?? Anything will help. Thank you!!!


    -Kristen :heart:

    First of all, don't promise anyone but yourself that you are going to get healthy. You have to do it for yourself and nobody and nothing else. It's kind of like you hit the bottom and there is only one way up and that is to make some goals for YOURSELF and focus on them. Put yourself first, without you, there is nothing. You have to take care of yourself and become a healthier version of YOU.

    Secondly, after you have eaten the calories you need, think of those hunger pains that you may get as a sign of your body eating up the fat that you have in your body already. Once you start working out and eating right those pains will subside.

    And third, remember you are not alone here on MFP. You have people that are going through the same as you. Even if they want to lose 200 lbs or 20 lbs or 2 lbs, some may even need to gain some weight. We are all here to be healthy.

    Good luck with your journey to becoming a healthier version of YOU.
  • januadiaboli
    januadiaboli Posts: 117 Member
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    I agree with a lot of what people have said already, especially the idea that you need to make healthier choices for yourself ... no one else can do it for you! ;-) It's hard, I know ... and I know that I sometimes feel that I'm being selfish because of the healthier choices that I'm making, but I also have to remember that my healthier choices give my kids a better role model (which is also good inspiration).

    Personally, I've broken my goals down into chunks: increments of 10 pounds lost, 30 minutes of exercise. To be most effective, your goals should be specific (and not a vague "get healthier" or "lose weight"), measurable (easy enough to do, here), attainable (things that *you* can make happen and that you can figure out ways to bring them to fruition), realistic (make sure that they're goals you can actually meet ... personally, I know that the only time I was ever 110 lbs was when I was very, very ill, so that's definitely *not* my goal weight!), and they should have a time frame of some sort attached to them (I don't have an end time date, but would like to have lost 10 pounds by Hallowe'en, which I think is realistic and doable).

    Above all, keep your chin up, don't let bad days get you down, and remember that there's an entire community of us here on MFP to support you!
  • 623Hernandez
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    Welcome to MFP! I love this place!!! Feel free to friend me!!!!

    Changing our lifestyle will be a challenge but, I know we can do it!!! Maybe if you focus on a few changes at first so, you DON"T GET OVERWHELMED. I am focusing on calories, portion sizes, and exercise. I am trying not to focus on my weight so much because, once I have these things down I know my weight will fallow. I would like to work on my water, fiber, carbohydrate, and sodium intake too. I would also like to start some strength training. I know I will get to all of it at some point.

    Try to MAKE REALISTIC GOALS and obtainable goals. I have set weight lose goals and exercise goals. I haven’t met all of them but, I am close and I am going to keep at it!! I would love to lose 5 pounds a month!! I have an elliptical in my garage so, my first goal was to use it for 10 minutes at least 4 days a week. I am up to 45 minutes 5 days a week now!! I never thought I could do this!! Exercising allows me to eat more so, I am not hungry!!! I feel like I can eat what ever I want but, I all ways have to watch my portion sizes and calories!

    We all have good days and bad days! Messing up is part of the journey to our new lifestyle. MISTAKES ARE NOT FAILURES; giving up is. Learning from our mistakes is what it is all about!! Things that have made this process easier for me are; MFP, measuring cups, measuring spoons, a kitchen scale, STAYing POSITIVE, and most of all exercising!

    You are beautiful and you are 340!! Not, beautiful even though you are 340!! Your fiancé sees that. You are and will be beautiful at 330, 320, 240, 230, and 200!!!

    I know you can do this!!!
  • maureenjp
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    I also have a lot to lose weight wise. I do find it hard going. These past few days I have been trying very hard but no weight loss. That hurts to be honest but I also can't give up.
    Being overwhelmed is an understatement for me. I know it is easy to fall off the wagon as they say. I know hat it is a life style change as well. And like some women, I am much larger than my husband and he also loves me for me. But he knows my weight bothers me and he also tries to encourage me as well.
    I would like to know if anyone who has more than 80 pounds to lose, is on a specail type of diet like Weight watchers and so on??? I tried to get on some of them but was refused since I live in Japan and not in the states. That was a bit shocking but not very unexpected. I have bought some books and I think the most difficult for me is that things that are needed for a diet, are not sold here. You would be surprised. Also everyone is trying to be careful of the veggies in the stores because of the earthquake we had in Fukushima. So if there is anyone who could or would like to share the type of diet they are on, I would so happy and grateful. Maureenjp
  • maureenjp
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    Everyone, forgive my typo's. My keyboards keys are always sticking. Either not typing out or double lettering. Always something fun.
    Starting a new day here. Hope it goes well.
  • clarajean123
    clarajean123 Posts: 22 Member
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    Kristen, you may have determination and strong will about many things, but let's face it. We don't get to be 100, 200, or many more pounds overweight because our strong will is in charge. Compulsive eating is food disorder that can dominate and destroy our lives. It is lovely ifor when someone still loves us despite our faults, but that is not the problem. The fact is that if someone truly loves us then they will want us to comfortable without living in denial within ourselves. We turn to food for many reasons, mainly because it is there, and we are basically emotional human beings. We want to feel good, and we should. People confused dieting with the term life style. It is our life style that determines our diet, but more than that, it is life style that determines how we feel about ourselves. Nobody can make you feel bad unless you give them permission. This is a problem that you can not do alone! Surround yourself with smart people who trying to make positive changes in there lives. This MFP site is great. Set some small goals and work towards them, because you know that you deserve more and better in life. You can do this. Feel free to friend me if you wish.
  • NiciS72
    NiciS72 Posts: 1,043 Member
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    I will give you a few pieces of advice that may help.

    1. Don't try to make all the changes at once, if you do it'll be such a shock and hard to keep up with. Instead choose one or two things to work on week by week. Example: I cut down my diet soda intake 6 months ago, then I cut it out and went to calorie free seltzer water. Now I've totally gone off any artificial sweetener. I couldn't have done it all at once and stuck with it, but by taking baby steps I'm free of that crap!
    2. Get a food scale and weigh all your food. You'll find what you think is a portion is out of whack (in my experience)
    3. Try and start eating better foods i.e. eat the perimeter of the grocery store, staying away from as much processed foods as possible
    4. Don't eat out, if you have to be prepared with ideas of where and what to eat. I know what I can eat at McD's, Wendy's, Jimmy Johns and still stay in my calorie range.
    5. Don't beat yourself up if you have a cookie or two or three once in awhile. Realize why you had them and try to make better choices going forward. I now would rather have a nectarine for 60+ calories than a snickers bar for 280!
    6. Get moving. Do what you can now even if it's walking for 10-15 minutes. Work yourself up to more time and different exercises in steps
    7. Remember you didn't put it all on in a couple of months!

    Wishing you much luck in your journey!
  • geekymom57
    geekymom57 Posts: 176 Member
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    Many good points and tips have been made already. I would add that from my personal experience, I often set unrealistic goals that were not sustainable in the long run and then got frustrated with myself when I couldn't sustain the effort. Losing and keeping off weight in the long-term will require significant long-term changes to how you live your life, and old habits aren't easily replaced with new, less comfortable ones. If you won't be able to exercise every day, then don't make that your goal. Set it at something that's more realistic, for example, 30 minutes 3 times a week--three TV shows!

    Be ready to look closely at your eating and drinking behaviors and whether your fiance and others are ready to support the changes you want to make. My husband is finally understanding that I don't want to eat out as often as he likes to eat out, not because I'm cheap but because it's really really hard to keep to my calorie goals when we eat out. For me, repetition and structure in breakfast and lunch are key because it takes the guess-work out of what and when to eat at work. If eating is a habit, including having seconds, then use techniques that slow down your intake, such as making sure to put your fork down between bites, chewing food X number of times, etc. You might be amazed at how much less you eat just by doing these things.

    You might also want to consider counseling or support groups if you feel that you aren't able to control your eating despite your recognition that you want to make changes.

    Don't get discouraged and most of all, take each day on its own. Some days you'll do and feel great, and others you won't, and that's pretty much how life is regardless of one's weight.
  • letha62
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    Wow what good comments and support your getting. I would agree with most of what has been said here. I want to encourage you to take that one day at a time and take one thing out at a time, but replace it with something better.

    I wish I had started before my 30's to start to get health, but in these last 15 years I have gone from 420 to 245 back up to 300. At 46 I discovered I had crippling osteoarthritis and because of my relatively young age (haha) and my super morbid obesity. I was stuck in limbo. I needed both knees replaced and maybe my left shoulder, but because of the a fore mentioned age and weight thing, no one, no one would do any surgery on me. In 5 months of being chair bound I gained another 62 pounds.

    At 362 I thought I was going to die and I decided to have weight loss surgery. In 9 months I lost 116 pounds. Now I am not telling you to go have weight loss surgery, in fact after getting this weight off, guess what? I'm back at 248, my free fall has stopped, but I still have to do what I should have been doing all along. Watch what I eat, exercise and stay positive. I still have a few years before I should get my knees replaced, so they don't have to do them again in 10 years. My shoulder's another story, we'll see what happens in the next year,so, I still have a lot of work to do.

    I have to say what I have learned from my troubles is this. I am the master of my destiny, weather I sail my ship to the Bahama's or onto an ice burg in Alaska, I'm the one that has to deal with me. I have learned a lot about losing weight and this last 50 to 100 pounds is all on me. I weight 235 in high school, so I have no clue what it's like to be thin and it scares the crap out of me, but I will be below 200 by the first of this year.

    Do worry about what other say or do. Some that you thought would be your biggest supporters may not be and some other may just flat out amaze you by the amount of love and encouragement they will give. Most importantly, if you make promises, make them to yourself. Like my 4 year old said, we spend most of our time beating our selves up. It really is mind over matter. You've made your mind up and that's all that matters.