Couples: what to do when one of you has a much higher calorie goal than the other?

My husband is almost a foot taller than I am. We eat the same things, I just eat less, because my caloric needs are way less. For some reason, it’s enjoyable to me to notice how much more he is eating. I guess it’s because he is so much taller so if we are eating the same amounts, it’s obvious that I am really overeating. So there should be a big difference in how much we eat and when there is, it means I am eating appropriately.
Plus, I do think it is fair that he eats more. The same amount of food, which to me would be satiating, would for him, be leaving him still hungry. So his hunger levels are higher than mine.

You do not need to eat the same portions or even the same food.

My calorie allowance is over double that of my wife most days. Fixing my own food allows me eat the amount I need without "rubbing her nose in it" on days she is struggling. All of my normal dishes have base configurations that allow me to eat them for a lower calorie amount when needed. With some adjustments I can easily triple the calories while the dish still appears to be the same.

ONUnicorn wrote: »

My husband and I are both tracking calories and trying to lose weight. Additionally, due to various health conditions, he's trying to lower his sodium and make sure he gets enough potassium, while I'm trying to lower my sugar intake and make sure I get enough iron.

Here's the thing, his calorie goals are about 500 calories a day higher than mine. Meaning if we eat the same breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks, I'll be right at my calories or 100-200 calories over, and he'll have enough calories leftover for a bowl of ice cream and fruit, or some cookies, or something. And if he has ice cream, I want ice cream.

Given the pandemic we're both working from home, so it makes sense to cook for both of us, and we are eating basically all our meals together. He's lost weight, and I've gained weight.

Any recommendations?

I think the biggest thing to realize is that you can eat the same food, but you can't eat the same portions. My wife and I eat the same foods...I have larger portions and she has smaller portions. She will often skip the grain or starch with dinner, while I eat them and she adds more veggies to her plate...she might take 4 ounces of whatever protein we made and I'm more likely to have 6-8 ounces, etc.

Breakfasts we usually just scramble a couple of eggs each and eat pretty small...sometimes I just skip it because I prefer eating heavier later in the day. We may or may not have the same food for lunch...we cook a ton so we usually have leftovers in the fridge from the previous couple of nights....but again, she has smaller portions and I have larger. She's also more apt to have a salad for lunch...she loves them and probably has a salad 3-4 times per week...I'm not a huge fan. I also snack more.

We're both losing weight, but my calorie requirements are much higher overall, even for losing weight.

Portion control. He eats bigger servings.

If he needs to avoid salt: more cooking from scratch and using less processed, canned, grocery section of the store goods.

If you need to avoid sugar: you can skip items or have smaller amounts of things that contain too much.

ONUnicorn wrote: »

My husband and I are both tracking calories and trying to lose weight. Additionally, due to various health conditions, he's trying to lower his sodium and make sure he gets enough potassium, while I'm trying to lower my sugar intake and make sure I get enough iron.

Here's the thing, his calorie goals are about 500 calories a day higher than mine. Meaning if we eat the same breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks, I'll be right at my calories or 100-200 calories over, and he'll have enough calories leftover for a bowl of ice cream and fruit, or some cookies, or something. And if he has ice cream, I want ice cream.

Given the pandemic we're both working from home, so it makes sense to cook for both of us, and we are eating basically all our meals together. He's lost weight, and I've gained weight.

Any recommendations?