Tired of ppl stating the obvious
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What exercises do u think might help that?0
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To add another little story onto here, a few years back i was looking for a good gyno and i was recommended one by a co worker. She raved about him so i had to go to him. Once hes done with the whole exam and all he says to me "youre a very beautiful woman but you should really consider loosing some weight". i was appauled, flabergasted, you name it. im paying him, its always awkward to go to a gyno for a damn pap smear and he has to tell me i need to loose weight to be the most beautiful i can be... i never went back to him.0
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Don't feel too bad. I visited my mother this summer and the first thing she asked me is if I was pregnant because of my weight gain.... and i am not pregnant. She then proceeded to comment continually on it the entire vacation at least once a day. I used to be reaaaaaaaaallly small so i guess it is a big change to her but it definitely hurt. she ended my trip by taking photos of me in a bikini from every angle so we could "compare it to next year" when i lost the weight....
just use it as motivation you know?
Wow that was harsh! but we just have to move on and come back from it i guess!0 -
To add another little story onto here, a few years back i was looking for a good gyno and i was recommended one by a co worker. She raved about him so i had to go to him. Once hes done with the whole exam and all he says to me "youre a very beautiful woman but you should really consider loosing some weight". i was appauled, flabergasted, you name it. im paying him, its always awkward to go to a gyno for a damn pap smear and he has to tell me i need to loose weight to be the most beautiful i can be... i never went back to him.
AS YOU SHOULDN'T...I PERSONALLY ALWAYS FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MALE GYN'S AND IF HE THINK IT TAKES A SIZE 2 TO BE BAUTIFUL THEN HE DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL LONG ENOUGH IN MY OPINION!!!0 -
My friends and I called that "word ninjas"... the people who walk up, drop a bomb and walk away... the bomb being words that stick with you even after the person has left... yep.. word ninjas!
I love the phrase "word ninjas"... what a PERFECT description!0 -
To add another little story onto here, a few years back i was looking for a good gyno and i was recommended one by a co worker. She raved about him so i had to go to him. Once hes done with the whole exam and all he says to me "youre a very beautiful woman but you should really consider loosing some weight". i was appauled, flabergasted, you name it. im paying him, its always awkward to go to a gyno for a damn pap smear and he has to tell me i need to loose weight to be the most beautiful i can be... i never went back to him.
AS YOU SHOULDN'T...I PERSONALLY ALWAYS FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MALE GYN'S AND IF HE THINK IT TAKES A SIZE 2 TO BE BAUTIFUL THEN HE DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL LONG ENOUGH IN MY OPINION!!!
I know!!! that was a horrible experience. i wanted to cry so bad. and his assistant was in the room too. What a crappy doctor. what gave him the right. A-hole.0 -
You know what really sucks and hurts the most; having two babies back to back and then the father of your babies saying that he just can not have sex with you any more because you are to fat
. And quote" Your stomach, it is just gross" i am just not attracted to you any more. 0 -
My friends and I called that "word ninjas"... the people who walk up, drop a bomb and walk away... the bomb being words that stick with you even after the person has left... yep.. word ninjas!
LOVE THIS!!! They are everywhere!!0 -
Ugh...my stepmom used to tell me "you'd be so pretty if you just lost some weight!" I think these people have insecurities and are trying to feel better about themselves by making you feel bad. Negative comments do nothing, because if someone gains weight obviously they notice it. You are beautiful, and I hope one day you can knock them on their butts with how stunning you look! Obviously you lose weight for yourself, but it's nice to see the people who made rude comments eat their words.
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I feel for you. I HATE MY RELATIVES SO MUCH THAT IT SUCKS ME WHEN MY MOM WOULD DRAG ME TO GO SEE THEM!!! I have been in your situation everytime I see them when my nosey relatives would make some unpleasant comments about my body. What's even worse was that I was already on the gradual process of losing weight but they kept thinking I'm fat & need to diet. Now I see their mouths & jaws open wide when they see my new body & commented how good looking I am & that I'm too thin now so no need to lose weight wherein all I actually doing is just maintenance. They're just so stupid enough to know that losing weight will not happen overnight. I just think that I'm too good for these bunch of @$$holes. They're just interested in my weight loss & nothing else, AARRGGGHHHH!!!!
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You know what really sucks and hurts the most; having two babies back to back and then the father of your babies saying that he just can not have sex with you any more because you are to fat. And quote" Your stomach, it is just gross" i am just not attracted to you any more.
He's such a jerk. Too shallow to just looking at the physical appearance. You'll better off without him!0 -
Thanks Just sucks that i love him so much. And i call him jerk face all the time at home lol. Some men are just plain honest though and i guess sometimes that is a good thing. Better then cheating on me and then at the end saying that he did it because he was not "Happy". 0
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I went to my 5 year reunion and then saw a picture taken of me there with some nasty things written ONLINE! Evidently I won the award for "Got the Fattest". Crazy how catie people can be as adults.
However! I am going to be the hottest chick at the next one! 0 -
I went to my 5 year reunion and then saw a picture taken of me there with some nasty things written ONLINE! Evidently I won the award for "Got the Fattest". Crazy how catie people can be as adults.
However! I am going to be the hottest chick at the next one!
:noway: :noway:
That is far too shocking, and such a horrible thing to do as well. And from adults? Scary!0 -
Good topic! Friend me! OK... Word Ninjas is GREAT! I, too, have avoided HS reunions (mine, not my hubby's). The "negative comments" that bother me most are probably from my mom... I know her intentions are good - but c'mon! I'll get the "up-down" look and comments about my BROTHER'S weight loss attempts... Hint, hint... Subtle, mom... Thanks...0
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I run into family members that I haven't seen in a while and the first thing that they like to point out is the obvious "MY WEIGHT" How about a co worker or old friend..... 'My Weight" .....I love old people but something just shouldn't be said and i understand they are wise but I am not blind....Somehow in all of that it was a positive thing because it motivated me to change the way people see me. I cried many nights but came to realize that "CRYING WILL NOT BURN THIS FAT" and so I am going to fight!!! I am on this site looking for other people who have been hurt by other peoples word or negative views and is truly ready to change. please add me if you are serious!!!
when I was heavy, I hated the nagging even though I knew other folks (mostly family) believed that they were trying to motivate them. I remember last year I lost 15 pounds over 2 months doing WW. I had a couple of bad days in a row and my wife nagged me about it. I stopped doing WW and gained the weight back. I don't blame my wife because it was my own decision to stop, but the nagging didn't help. eventually I would just tell folks...we are not going to discuss my weight because nagging me about it has the opposite effect from what you desire. the reality is that each of us is the ONLY PERSON who can motivate ourselves to turn to a healthier lifestyle. We have to want to do it for our own reasons...and its those reasons (which should be written down and reviewed daily) that will determine our own success.0 -
As well as insecurities that people may have, that are somehow projected on you, as people here have mentioned - I think the other thing is that we live in such a horribly SHALLOW society!
So much importance is placed on looks, so much judgement as well, and standards that are too rigid and set. You could be as nice a person as Mother Teresa, but if you put on even the tiniest bit of weight, it renders any nice qualities about your personality null and void. You are worth 'nothing' if you are not a Size Zero.
The media really doesn't help, in fact it enforces it even more, and people - especially other women - adhere to it, and need to conform to the pressure.
Me included, which is why I'm here in the first place - lose the weight to look good of course, I admit it's partly subconsciously out of conformity, and to stop the comments - 'prove them wrong' as it were.
In an ideal world, it shouldn't matter (only unless your health is at risk, like with smoking/drinking) - the person inside counts after all, if you are beautiful inside. However, the reality is sadly the opposite :frown: :frown:
Grrrr! I could rant forever on this!0 -
I totally get what you mean! Back when I was in college, every time I came home my parents felt the urge to state the obvious-- "you're gaining a lot of weight" "you're legs are getting bigger" "you need to go on a diet" etc. It was so hurtful I actually had a sit down with them to explain that I do not want to be around them if all they are going to talk about is my weight. They said that they were trying to help and blah blah blah. They said they would stop..... And yet, it constantly continued. They would talk about this diet, and that diet, and eat like this-- don't eat that. Eventually, I stopped going home unless someone died or it was a major holiday. It was awful, and only taught me to feel shame.
Thankfully now our relationship has improved as that was some years ago. They still discuss my weight but now I suppose I have thicker skin and it doesn't effect me as much. Still hurts, but I guess that's just how some people are.0 -
You know what really sucks and hurts the most; having two babies back to back and then the father of your babies saying that he just can not have sex with you any more because you are to fat. And quote" Your stomach, it is just gross" i am just not attracted to you any more.
OMG I have known pain from words but that has to be the ultimate! You r beautiful no matter what size you are!!!0 -
I feel for you. I HATE MY RELATIVES SO MUCH THAT IT SUCKS ME WHEN MY MOM WOULD DRAG ME TO GO SEE THEM!!! I have been in your situation everytime I see them when my nosey relatives would make some unpleasant comments about my body. What's even worse was that I was already on the gradual process of losing weight but they kept thinking I'm fat & need to diet. Now I see their mouths & jaws open wide when they see my new body & commented how good looking I am & that I'm too thin now so no need to lose weight wherein all I actually doing is just maintenance. They're just so stupid enough to know that losing weight will not happen overnight. I just think that I'm too good for these bunch of @$$holes. They're just interested in my weight loss & nothing else, AARRGGGHHHH!!!!
Your weigh loss progress is AMAZING...That will be me one day! You look great keep up the good work!0 -
Thank you 0
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Hmmm sounds like my family, where negative reinforcement is supposed to make you stronger and better. Too much of it of course just tore you down, not built you up. I chalked it up to a cultural difference, but still it made me dread family gatherings. It got so bad that my BP would spike every visit--(true story, I measured it just while sitting around in the family room and watched it get worse). I finally had to stop talking and visiting them just to get sane again.0
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I guess we cant control what people think or say but we can control what we do with the hurt. People would only need to put someone down if they dont feel good about themselves. It make them feel bigger if they get to make you feel small.
Take it and use it to movtivate you - then you win they lose - Rise above it and be your best you!0 -
I run into family members that I haven't seen in a while and the first thing that they like to point out is the obvious "MY WEIGHT" How about a co worker or old friend..... 'My Weight" .....I love old people but something just shouldn't be said and i understand they are wise but I am not blind....Somehow in all of that it was a positive thing because it motivated me to change the way people see me. I cried many nights but came to realize that "CRYING WILL NOT BURN THIS FAT" and so I am going to fight!!! I am on this site looking for other people who have been hurt by other peoples word or negative views and is truly ready to change. please add me if you are serious!!!
I'm not taking new friends at the moment, but I just wanted to tell you that you CAN do this. I believe in you.
I started out with people making halfassed comments about my weight. It was a horrible feeling. The looks were even worse.
This is not permanent. Prove to them that you CAN do it so they can kiss your sexy *kitten* later.
Chin up and start believing in yourself lady.0 -
It never really bothered me, honestly; I was overweight by a large margin my whole life and I guess I just got used to getting picked on. But I will tell you one thing as someone who has undergone a drastic change in my weight for the thinner - people's reactions to me now are so satisfying. My old friends are shocked. Boys who used to tease me are trying to get my number. (Too bad for them!) Family members are completely speechless. My mom cried when she saw me. The expressions of pride and amazement on the faces of the people I love are a huge motivator to see this lifestyle change through to my goal and beyond, and the feeling I got from their reactions is something that's going to stick with me for the rest of my life.
I'm telling you this because you have made a very important decision and I want you to view it in a positive light. I don't want you to feel ashamed about where you are now because I know that's not healthy for you and feeling like crap is NOT good motivation. Instead, I want you to look forward to where you are going, I want you to know that you CAN do it, and I want you to know how good it will feel when you finally get there.
I wish you the best of luck in your journey; you can add me if you like! :-)0 -
While out with some friends, one of my guy friends made a comment about stretch marks, as part of a joke not meant to be offensive.
I wish I had said something like "I really don't mind mine all that much at all" or "most women have them.."
Just maybe to give him a little insight to think before he makes comments about appearances, and not be so shallow. I know it wasn't intentional, but still bothered me, coming from a friend.0 -
I can relate to this so much, I could go on forever with horrible stories of people who thought it was their business to help/educate/belittle/torment/tease me about my weight when I was bigger.... I mean MY NAME RHYMES WITH FAT!!!
As a result I try (for my own sanity) to give people the benefit of the doubt if there is any chance they meant it in a decent way, or were just being stupid. Outright malicious comments are common enough!
I come from a small country town and I always found it ironic how many overweight old men liked to comment on my weight though. Like only women can be fat....0 -
PREACH IT SISTER! xx0
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My friends and I called that "word ninjas"... the people who walk up, drop a bomb and walk away... the bomb being words that stick with you even after the person has left... yep.. word ninjas!
:laugh: That is so awesome!! Hit the nail on the head there.0 -
Everyone overweight gets that...............................if it bothers a person they'll do something about it!?!0
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