Hi, I'm Ellena from New Zealand!

Just in case, here is a trigger warning.
TW: Mentions of unhealthy habits, low mental health, body dysmorphia, binging, and severe restriction.

Strap in and get a low cal snack, 'cause I'm gonna tell you a story! 😂 I've had a long and tumultuous weight loss and health gain journey, 😅 my top weight was 300lbs or 21 stone and 5 lbs and I lost my first 100lbs in the first year with diet and exercise. The second year, however, I mostly fluctuated around 14 stone 7lbs to 15 stone 8lbs after struggling with binging and severe calorie restriction. This was due to a general self loathing coupled with a food addiction, so my self esteem had hit rock bottom. It didn't help that I was really struggling with body dismorphia and feeling like I looked no different than when I was 300lbs.
Now I'm onto my 3rd year of weight loss and I am finally going to give these last 2 stone/30lbs the boot! (Current weight is 13 stone 11lbs)
I once previously had the idea that counting calories could open me up to being obsessive with my caloric intake so I tried to avoid it at much as I could, clearly for the first year that worked well for me. However the lower in weight you get the less room you have for error, soon I started obsessing with the scale and cutting my calories lower and lower until I cut them to as low as 1000 calories so I was in the one place I wanted to avoid. 🤦🏻‍♀️
Thing is, I'm a 5'11" female with a body that is by no means petite, so obviously this was and is a no bueno.
Now I'm onto a new journey of smacking my stupid monkey brain into submission and I have increased my calories to 1500! I've done a little bit of research and apparently it can take up to 4 weeks for your metabolism to repair, I've been gaining weight these last few weeks and I'm hoping that now my weight is finally tapering off I will soon be going down again. I've recently reintroduced 3 days of exercise a week to try and minimise my weight gain as much as I can, gaining 5lbs over a few weeks isn't the worst so I'm glad I didn't cause more damage to myself. Not gonna lie, I still have the unfortunate habit of having an inner freak out whenever I see something above 400 calories for a meal, but I'm slowly getting there and replacing my need to see a lower number on the scale with nonscale victories and exercise goals. 😊
I think that is everything about my journey so far, it would be nice to know some more people in this community, feel free to say hi and tell a little about yourself, and if you have any advice for me that could help it would be very much appreciated 😁
Lovely to meet you!

- Ellena 🤗