when someone is jealous of you?!?!?!

There is not a thing you can do to change the way this person is acting,its seems like she has some pretty deep unresovled issues with herself and you have become her scapgoat.Nobody can fix her but her.Try you best not to let her actions get to you,and dont take any *kitten* from her.From everything youve described it does not seem like there is much you can do to not set her off.She seems like a very unhappy person.

It's her issue, not yours. Just continue living your life as you have been and do your best not to think about her. She clearly has issues.

Not to be a total *****, but I would suggest getting over yourself and butting out of her business. She's a grown woman, leave her to live her life and stop worrying about how you effected it, people talk, maybe people were just talking when they said you were the reason for the surgery, either way its vain to think you are the reason and you're behaving no better than she.

Without knowing her or all the little details, do you think it would help to talk to her about this? Maybe get her to see that she does have some great things about her life and to try and not compare herself to others. It sounds like she's got some serious issues that maybe a therapist might help with, but that might be a little overstepping to suggest.

You can really only control you. That said, I would pay attention to her just to make sure you are safe. If she continues this obsession it could turn. Make sure you know your options. If she gets dangerous or out of hand, contact authorities.

I agree and reinforce what the people above have said, this is her issue and problem. Someone close to her in life should maybe refer her to have a physiological analyses done. Sounds to me like she has some deep rooted need and longing for attention, maybe resulting from a childhood trauma of some sort.

Personally I wouldn't let her actions deter you in anyway, the only person that can help someone like that is themselves. They need to admit there is something wrong and seek the help needed. If you still feel worried for her well being try talking to her, although thats a judgment only you can make as that could just be putting fuel in the fire.

Hope things sort themselves out, and keep your head held high

You know what you should do? Start doing crazy things just to see if she does them too. Take up sky diving or stripping. Surely you'll find out for sure if she's jealous and trying to SWF in to your life if you do that!

There is obviously more there than you can control. Have you tried flipping it on her like compliment her to the affect of "You have such beautiful children, I hope I get as lucky as you" this may make her step backwards, or you can go full affect and kindly and tactfully call her out and point out the things she has that you don't and tell her you're glad she is doing so well with her weight loss. Let her know that you have to work with her and really want to get along. She may calm down and you may need to make superiors aware of the situation and what you plan to do to remedy it, just so they're aware.

don't own her *kitten*. there is a very famous quote that i think applies: What other people think of me is none of my business.

srsly, these are her issues, not yours. you don't own this. go in, do your job the best you can. and if that's a problem for her, then that's not YOUR problem.

the only thing that i would reccomend - b/c you said that she tried to get you and your hubby in trouble - is make sure you guys CYA, b/c then it's her that ends up looking the fool, ya know?

Restraining order, perhaps? LOL

I agree with the other posters - CYA if you have to work with her (document, document, document), but otherwise avoid any contact with her. When other people come to you to tell you how she's obsessed about you, change the subject. Personally I wouldn't want to know it would just piss me off, ya know?

I have experienced that before and I just try to avoid those people LIKE THE PLAGUE. *kitten* that noise.

She sounds like a bitter person who is pissed because you're probably more pleasant to deal with.

First off, I think it's misguided to contextualize someone else's feelings. You may *think* she's jealous, but it could be any number of things. I encourage you to focus on your feelings, and other people's behavior. It is a whole lot less crazy-making.

I've had personality conflicts at work before. There is a woman at my current job who used to be very friendly with me. We had similar interests and would talk frequently. Slowly, she grew frustrated with some things I was doing (a lot of it was justified - not addressing her tech support issues fast enough, slow response time).

Unfortunately, she isn't a direct person. So her frustration came out sideways. And if there is one thing that will set me off (usually pretty hard to do) it's passive-agressiveness or sideways pettiness. So meetings with both us got a little weird. Most of these were meetings I was leading, and it became emotionally draining.

Eventually, the conflict started affecting my job performance. I tried working it out with her directly. Once, in a meeting directly, a different time one-on-one in person, and a third time via email. Didn't work. So I got other people invovled. Her boss, my boss, and HR director. I asked for help to resolve this conflict. I owned my part - how I could see why there was frustration, that I would improve my communication and support response times, etc. - and presented the situation as something I wanted to resolve, and that I was willing to make an effort.

This worked for a few months.

We had to work together on a couple of projects again. When there were delays - even if not my fault - the negativity got worse than before. Even other people in the meetings were noticing. My wife noticed me bringing it home. I went to the HR director again - who is actually a friend of the woman I was having a conflict with, but also someone with integrity whom I trust and respect to be fair. I would consider her a friend as well. When I told her about the issues coming up again, she was sympathetic, but told me this:

"Maybe you should quit worrying about whether <name> likes you and just focus on your job, deliver on projects the best you can."

This wasn't said in a flippant way. She was trying to help, and apologized that she couldn't be more helpful.

Her statement floored me. Sometimes an obvious truth that I have been blind to hits me with such force I am dumbstruck. It was like I just walked into a glass patio door. I thanked her, and assured her she had been very helpful. All I needed to do was let go of this need to be liked and just do my job. My wife had actually set this idea in motion a few nights before when she reading an email response to my final effort to work out the conflict. My wife said this person's response was almost abusive and certainly not the writing from someone who was interested in a personal relationship with me. Hearing the HR director tell me to not worry about being friends and just do my job closed the deal. I had my answer. It had been staring me in the face all along and was no more complicated that pre-school politics.

As I left the HR director's office - not kidding - I actually felt *physically* lighter. It was weird. I had let something go that I had been carrying around for awhile, and it was having a *physical* effect on me. I focused on my work. My mood steadily increased. I am respectful and polite to this person, but am no longer interested in anything beyond a working relationship. We interact now and it's professional. I am friendly in that I will say "good morning," "Hi," and smile when I see her. I get nothing back from her. And I don't care. I don't feel superior in any way that I am friendly and she is not. I simply don't care and don't want to waste the energy caring. I am not resentful, angry or sad. I am, however, free from the burden of worry that this person like me. She holds no power over me any more.

I've enjoyed my job more and more these last few months.

I hope that story helps you find a solution.

I deal with this all the time.

Who wouldn't be jealous of this?

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I deal with this all the time.

Who wouldn't be jealous of this?

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I am jealous of that. You. Awesome.

You must love the attention because I don't see how anyone would tolerate immature behavior like that. I would have spoken to the lady a long time ago and if she is causing so much trouble for you why in the he'll are you still around her?
If everything you said is true, then there is some real pyscho behavior going on and you must be enjoying it because I don't see how many would like to endure crap like that.


If she is such a huge problem then why haven't you tried to sort the problem out like an adult and talk to her?

You're the one letting her take up real estate rent-free in your head.

A total AHA!!1 Moment for me


Amber- I had something similar except she was my leader at the time and were close friends. I had to just move away ..because indeed she was living rent -free in my head..lol

Serenity prayer all the way