Starting ... again. Sigh

jessackerman21 · December 2020

Hi guys. I started losing weight a few months ago and was doing ok. Then, I stopped seeing results and got discouraged. I slowly stopped tracking and now I’ve gained it all back. I seriously feel like I’m sabotaging myself. Now, I’ve stepped on my scale and I’m on the verge of tears. Every time I have to restart i feel overwhelmed. I guess my question is what should I focus on first so I don’t get overwhelmed? Also, if anyone knows of a good mental health counselor send me a message. I think I need to address some old issues that might be interfering with my progress. Thanks

LynNite · December 2020

I do this all. The. Time. But the thing is, you’re starting again, you’re giving it another go. Way to go!!!

bebeisfit · December 2020

Try not to think of it as starting and stopping. In reality, we will never stop. We may adjust but we won't go back to all of those bad habits and expect to maintain our weight.

Perhaps you instead take a U turn. Don't give up the entire journey - just try and get back on track. Look for small improvements each day/week, not a complete overhaul.

I wish you well.

Dogmom1978 · December 2020

Start by just weighing and tracking what you eat daily. Then after a week or two of that, plug in a small weight loss per week (like .5 lbs) so that it isn’t overwhelming.

The_Elephant_Man · December 2020

@jessackerman21 Just take it 1 day at a time and just focus on logging everything that you put in your mouth. You can lose weight just by staying under your calorie goal each day. I have lost 50lbs so far and it takes dedication, but you can do this and NEVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF!

jessackerman21 · December 2020

Thank you everyone for the kind words!

lgfrie · December 2020

Learn from what happened; it's all you can do. By learn, I mean something specific here, as I have been down this road several times. NEVER stop tracking and weighing in. If you just do that one thing - count your calories, and get on the scale - you will reduce the odds of this happening again to near-zero. Stopping the calorie counting, followed quickly by scale avoidance, is how diets usually die. Just nail this one thing, it isn't hard, it's very doable - get on the scale every morning and count your calories - and you won't have to fear another major setback because it probably won't happen.

As to the weight you lost and gained back - just get started on it again. It's just weight. You can lose it, just like you did last time. Eat right and hit your calorie deficit today, then do it tomorrow. In a week you'll have lost the first pound or so, and you'll be on your way!!! Not that hard ...

nanastaci2020 · December 2020

Focus on getting in the habit of logging everything accurately.

And figure out a way to avoid what happened before. Try to find a way to think long term, so the short term weigh ins do not get you down. Personally I get on the scale most mornings but I only 'count' my most recent 'low' weight. So if I weigh 149 on the 10th but then the scale shows 149.9 on the 12th: I still consider myself 149.

Essentially this comes down to trusting the science, accurate logging, and understanding that water weight will cause fluctuations. The way to keep this mental strategy in check: compare weighins over 30 days. If last month on the 12th I was 153 and this month on the 12th I'm 149.9, things are moving in the right direction.

It can also help if you make fitness goals. If you focus on making your body healthier and more fit, and also eat at a reasonable calorie level: weight loss can be a byproduct. If weight loss is your only objective: it can drive you crazy.

MostlyWater · January 2021

Make a serious change like giving up white flour, white sugar, something like that. See a nutritionist if that helps.

springlering62 · January 2021

Any old person can call themselves a nutritionist, including the dude or chick at the gym or MLM presentation trying to push a buncha meals or bars on you. If you go the nutritionist route, you need to verify their qualifications.

Three appointments with a registered dietician, however, set me up for success. In fact, she’s the one who recommended MFP.

CICO (calories in/calories out) makes no food verboten- unless at a physicians recommendation. I would climb walls and fistfight strangers without bread and sweets, but I weigh and log them, and make sure they come within my calorie goal.

cbihatt · January 2021

In my personal experience, I can not be successful at losing weight if I am not in the right head space. What you describe, being “on the verge of tears” is not a good place to start. I have to take the time to get myself into a more positive, hopeful mindset. That way I can focus on my goals and my actions rather than my feelings of failure and inadequacy. I don’t have any deep seeded trauma in my background, so this is something I’ve always felt I could do on my own.

One thing I’ve found helpful is to not compare my present self to my past self. I know that is easier said than done, but I can’t expect my body to perform in ways it has in the past when I have not yet put in the work to make that performance possible again. I have to forgive myself for not living up to my own expectations in the past, and work within my current capabilities.

So the question becomes, what are you currently capable of? If weighing yourself is traumatizing, maybe skip getting on the scale until it doesn’t feel that way anymore. If counting calories is too much, forget about it until it feels comfortable again. Start where you are. Can you take a walk every day? Can you stop eating massive quantities of (insert food name)? Can you drink more water? Can you cook dinner instead of getting takeout?

These are the things that no one else can tell you about yourself. Unfortunately, you have to figure it out on your own. In my experience, it sometimes takes longer than I would like to get myself back on track, but I always manage it somehow. Because, like another poster said, “In reality, we will never stop.”

jwcannon70 · January 2021

I would also like to thank everyone with their posts. I did the same exact thing as the original poster. I lost weight and gained it back. Starting the journey once again but it is discouraging. The "one day at a time" is great advice and I keep telling myself that I did it once and I can do it again.

Kait_Dee · January 2021

Hey Jess - first and foremost, I think it’s awesome that you took the big step to post on here, it takes guts to recognize the need and seek support.

I’m a “big loser”, having used MFP for something like 2185 days in a row, and intermittently ahead of that losing 115lbs in total - I yo-yo’d for yeeeaaarrrsssss before I got my poop in a group, so I understand where you’re coming from.

The first thing I’d suggest is to start simple. Log your water and breakfast. Build confidence in your basic habits - you can’t eat an elephant all at once - so one little bite at a time! After a week or two, build on that. Hold yourself accountable - discipline is the ultimate form of self respect and love. (You’ve got this!!)

Your health and wellness don’t have to be all or nothing. There’s no “end game” to losing weight and maintaining health - so my second suggestion is to create a long term plan for your health and wellness and then break it down into micro goals that you can achieve and celebrate as you go.

Words matter. What you say to yourself matters. Be kind to yourself and invest the time into your journey.

Creating sustainable change takes work and personal commitment. Remember - the night oak was once just a nut that stood it’s ground.

You can do this.

sarah7591 · January 2021

cbihatt wrote: »

In my personal experience, I can not be successful at losing weight if I am not in the right head space. What you describe, being “on the verge of tears” is not a good place to start. I have to take the time to get myself into a more positive, hopeful mindset. That way I can focus on my goals and my actions rather than my feelings of failure and inadequacy. I don’t have any deep seeded trauma in my background, so this is something I’ve always felt I could do on my own.

One thing I’ve found helpful is to not compare my present self to my past self. I know that is easier said than done, but I can’t expect my body to perform in ways it has in the past when I have not yet put in the work to make that performance possible again. I have to forgive myself for not living up to my own expectations in the past, and work within my current capabilities.

So the question becomes, what are you currently capable of? If weighing yourself is traumatizing, maybe skip getting on the scale until it doesn’t feel that way anymore. If counting calories is too much, forget about it until it feels comfortable again. Start where you are. Can you take a walk every day? Can you stop eating massive quantities of (insert food name)? Can you drink more water? Can you cook dinner instead of getting takeout?

These are the things that no one else can tell you about yourself. Unfortunately, you have to figure it out on your own. In my experience, it sometimes takes longer than I would like to get myself back on track, but I always manage it somehow. Because, like another poster said, “In reality, we will never stop.”

Thank you! I don't mean to hijack this thread but this post was so inspiring to me I just had to post it. It was so much more than just hitting the "inspire" button. I need to reread this over and over.

cbihatt · January 2021

@sarah7591
I’m glad you found it helpful!

AshHeartsJesus · January 2021

For me it was determination! Physically I wanted better so I started an EASY workout routine then progressed to harder ones, I started a food journal and then mfp. I kept showing up! It worked!
Mentally I cling to Lord Jesus and read His word everyday! I have a great hope beyond this flesh body! 💟

elisa123gal · January 2021

In your post, you answered your questions on what caused your regain. That you weren't losing fast enough and let yourself get discouraged. You stopped logging..and regained it back. You tend to sabotage yourself.

It is natural to feel down and beat yourself up. But it is time to dust yourself off..get back to it.. and learn from your mistakes and develop strategies and plans so you don't repeat history.

It is what we all do.. we come back and do better each time until we learn the hard lessons that are part of a weight loss journey.

I still come back.. but it is for smaller regains.. and I've had good success with a long period of maintenance (before lockdown).. after years of sticking to it.. I finally have learned what really works and why I kept doing some destructive behaviors over and over.

Starting ... again. Sigh

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