for those of you that have trouble with bingeing...

omid990 · March 2009

i've noticed a lot of posts in the past few days of people who have trouble with bingeing. i don't have any medical or athletic qualifications or anything. i'm just someone who would binge to the point where i would throw up up until about two months ago. maybe what i went through can help some of you?

This is my third (fourth maybe) attempt at using this website, and its the first time i've lost any weight. as of today, i weigh 137 lbs, 5 pounds down in a month and a half or so. i know that's not a lot of weight, but it's definitely more than what i lost the other attempts. I am completely convinced that the reason for my success this time around is due to my lack of binge eating.

my binges were born out of guilt. my thought process would go something like this: "Oh, i'm already 200 calories over. I might as well just keep eating and call it a cheat day". Then, i would proceed to eat everything i possibly could fit into my mouth, feeling so sick at times, that i would consider making myself throw up ( a very scary thought). sometimes, i would try again the next day. other times, i would let weeks go by before i would attempt this site again.

for those of you that have a similar mindset, the one thing that i beg of you to learn is the concept of forgiveness. i know fitness chick has a fantastic link on this somewhere. if you go over, forgive yourself. yes, you may have made a mistake, but that's ok. If you get knocked down, pick yourself up and dust off any guilt, and keep on trucking. try to get to the gym to burn some of those extra calories off. if you can't, try harder the next day. i promise you that if you learn to forgive yourself, you will binge less often.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/40621-forgiveness

omid990 · March 2009

i've noticed a lot of posts in the past few days of people who have trouble with bingeing. i don't have any medical or athletic qualifications or anything. i'm just someone who would binge to the point where i would throw up up until about two months ago. maybe what i went through can help some of you?

This is my third (fourth maybe) attempt at using this website, and its the first time i've lost any weight. as of today, i weigh 137 lbs, 5 pounds down in a month and a half or so. i know that's not a lot of weight, but it's definitely more than what i lost the other attempts. I am completely convinced that the reason for my success this time around is due to my lack of binge eating.

my binges were born out of guilt. my thought process would go something like this: "Oh, i'm already 200 calories over. I might as well just keep eating and call it a cheat day". Then, i would proceed to eat everything i possibly could fit into my mouth, feeling so sick at times, that i would consider making myself throw up ( a very scary thought). sometimes, i would try again the next day. other times, i would let weeks go by before i would attempt this site again.

for those of you that have a similar mindset, the one thing that i beg of you to learn is the concept of forgiveness. i know fitness chick has a fantastic link on this somewhere. if you go over, forgive yourself. yes, you may have made a mistake, but that's ok. If you get knocked down, pick yourself up and dust off any guilt, and keep on trucking. try to get to the gym to burn some of those extra calories off. if you can't, try harder the next day. i promise you that if you learn to forgive yourself, you will binge less often.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/40621-forgiveness

lotusfromthemud · March 2009

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/forgiveness/MH00131

Here's a link on the topic of forgiveness I put on my blog yesterday (great minds, eh?).

I'm really working on forgiveness and letting go right now. I truly believe that for me, bingeing was a way to keep the bad feelings inside rather than express them or let them go.

And, may I humbly suggest to everyone that while you're at it, forgive yourself. We are so often the meanest to ourselves.

micheleg7 · March 2009

What a great topic. And just coming off a week of bingeing myself, I can really relate to the subject.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, both of you. Your words helped me alot, and made me realize how much I need to take a real hard look at what I'm doing to myself by bingeing and not forgiving and letting go.

hugs
michele

albattle1084 · March 2009

Wow. I've been a compulsive binger (I think I spelled that right?) for over a decade, which is frightening since I'm only 24.

In all my years, I've never thought of the idea of forgiving myself for not exercising or not eating enough veggies or not drinking enough water. I only could focus on what I haven't done, and how I'm somehow a terrible person for doing so.

But since I've started MFP, I've learned to truly take one day at a time. It's a struggle, but it's working so far.

And I will practice the act of forgiving.

molsongirl · March 2009

WOW, that's all I can say. I didn't realize this was such a problem!! I'm glad everyone is getting help, does this stem from a self esteem issue, is it even fundamentally related to food? I really thought this was a teenager issue, boy was I wrong.

Fitness_Chick · March 2009

WOW, that's all I can say. I didn't realize this was such a problem!! I'm glad everyone is getting help, does this stem from a self esteem issue, is it even fundamentally related to food? I really thought this was a teenager issue, boy was I wrong.

I think it's a female issue of any age...I know some men struggle with it but I think they are in the minority plus men don't voice their thoughts as much as women so who's to know.

But I think if Men did voice their thoughts on this we would hear them weighing in as well...folks that weight hundreds of lbs over don't simple eat meals and not binge.. binging is the way many of us have gotten to the point we are...or should I say, stopping the binge has gotten many of us to where we are today:drinker:

I believe binging has to do with SO much, but I think the last thing it has to do with is food (other than that's what it involves, similar to alcohol binging or drug use), I think it has more to do with pain, low self esteem, sadness, lonliness and as some mentioned not forgiving ourselves for doing it in the past, it becomes a very ingrained pattern of self destruction in which we then continually beat ourselves up. The simple carbs get us a buzz but then it's like one loses all control and doesn't stop, not always because they don't want too but because they simply can't at a certain point...I think the mind seems to somewhat shut down at a certain point...

I know livelovelaugh shared how if you go over sometimes that sense of failure pushes you over the edge and you figure, what the hell...what does it matter now! Some ppl would think, omg, it's ONLY 200 cals but to others that's a sense of deep failure to them. That's why judging on a site like this is so dangerous for all of us.

I love this site but I do wish we all could be kinder...... oh how I wish we could simply TRY and put ourselves in others shoes if but for a moment so we could really sense what one another go through....

Just wanted to add, not to give the impression that only very overweight ppl deal with this as that's simply NOT true, so many at a normal or just above average weight fight with this on a daily basis... When a person is larger it's more ovious is all that a food issue exists, the tough part of being a person that is smaller is no one knows there secret or even that they need help at all.

we're only as sick as our secrets in life.. and boy do those secrets speak volumes

to all of you dealing with this I send you a great big hug as I know it's a tough way to live life.... but trust me there IS HOPE and you can overcome it...truly!:smooched: :flowerforyou:

LillyB · March 2009

I'll make this short because I have a meeting after work. Nights are my hardest and you just hit me on the head in so many ways! I will keep your words in my thoughts tonight....I hope to gain help from them. Thank you.

kimber607 · March 2009

Fellow binger here and looking for any help I can get
Maybe I'm the oddball here and I need to do more reading but I don't really understand what it means to forgive myself and how that will help my bingeing
When I binge I get into a zone and almost feel numb about everything...it seems once it starts I have no control

Just my .02
Kim

Lyndo · March 2009

Same here!!!
I feel & Do the same thing,
I ate great all day loads of veggies, & good healthy food...
Me Its after Dinner!!!!
I just ate all my Dinner withc was 1/2 rice, broccoli, carrots, celery, & 1 drumstick...
ALL GOOD RIGHT!!!!

NO!! I hate the feeling of not feelin' full, I have to feel so full that i want to vomit....
Until it almost comes right out, then once the feeling is all gone, I want to redo it all over again...
I just finished eating 2 toast with smooth peanut butter, & Wow I'm so full I cannot breath

I'm good some days, & Some days I can't stop it....
I say the same thing to myself, I cheated, So here we go "Bring it On"
But when i see good results, I get scared... I want to be thiner so badly, but have no clue what is making me binge? I hide with my food so that no one see's me, & eat...
I've stopped ALOT, I used to eat a loaf of bread during the day with jam, or peanut butter, plus all my other food,
I weigh 172 right now, I lost 3 pounds since coming here, & 6 pounds on my own without this program.. Just drinking water was helping me get full, but I've been trying to drink alot more water so i wouldnt have to binge, but I can tell the differnce, & I miss that full getting sick feeling.
So If anyone feels the same & have tips on helping me stoping my binge eating...
Than Please do so:flowerforyou:

Fitness_Chick · March 2009

Fellow binger here and looking for any help I can get
Maybe I'm the oddball here and I need to do more reading but I don't really understand what it means to forgive myself and how that will help my bingeing
When I binge I get into a zone and almost feel numb about everything...it seems once it starts I have no control

Just my .02
Kim

I so hear you on the numb feeling...

I think perhaps the forgiveness part was brought up as a way to not stay in the guilt of a binge so one doesn't continue the pattern and keep hating on themselves with blame and then continue the pattern even more. Does that make a bit more sense? I'd actually never though of self forgiveness until it was brought up.

Sometimes forgiveness of others can also help chill out the binges, ya know a fight with someone that leads us to cookies, work being a pain in the but because someone said whatever stupid thing and all we want to do is make it go away...so then comes a binge urge.. so forgiveness can serve many purposes. The one by me up above, the link is pretty short and might help you know what I meant by forgiveness when I shared that link.

The other link I want to click on but haven't done that yet but will in a bit to read it.

Peace to you........I now it's a tough road, but I think with one anothers support we can break through this and do it less and less and then one day look back and think OMG...I no longer use that behavior to cope with life:drinker:

Fitness_Chick · March 2009

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/forgiveness/MH00131

Here's a link on the topic of forgiveness I put on my blog yesterday (great minds, eh?).

I'm really working on forgiveness and letting go right now. I truly believe that for me, bingeing was a way to keep the bad feelings inside rather than express them or let them go.

And, may I humbly suggest to everyone that while you're at it, forgive yourself. We are so often the meanest to ourselves.

kimber607 · March 2009

Thanks everyone...I'm going to check out the link and do some digging on line
When I came here and lost 30 pounds in 5 mnths I went the longest I ever have w/ out bingeing
I was also able to go to a b-day party and have a piece of cake and leave it at that

I recently gained back 4-5 pounds then lost 3 pounds
The lose gave me just enough confidence to binge again
For me it is usually 1-2 days per week.....the past 2 weeks when I lost the weight I was able to keep it down to 1x in the 2 week period...which felt like a success

The other odd thing with me, is that I can't tie my binge into a fight with DH or a rough day with the kids
Somedays I really don't know what sets me off?
Somedays things are going so well and I feel soooo good..I figure what the heck!

Good luck to everyone!
I so want to break this horrible habit
Kim

imworthit · March 2009

Going to come back and read later.

Thanks for all the posts. I need help in this area.

highlighters · March 2009

i have felt so alone in this area for years. i would eat till i was full and then eat some more and more and more. i ate until i was in pain. i have never purged but the eating frenzy has repeated itself more times than i can count. nothing lately and i don't remember what causes it, have read online about it but have never spoken with anyone about this before.

lotusfromthemud · March 2009

The other odd thing with me, is that I can't tie my binge into a fight with DH or a rough day with the kids
Somedays I really don't know what sets me off?
Somedays things are going so well and I feel soooo good..I figure what the heck!

I binged when I felt bad, and binged when I felt good. I binged when I'd done well because I "deserved" it, and binged when I'd done badly because it would "make me feel better."

A big component of my binges is self-sabotage, so believe it or not feeling good and being happy can trigger a binge for me.

hmo4 · March 2009

Hello all my fellow sisters!!! I have been looking for answers and hope for a long time now. I've been like this all my life and it has to stop! The loss of control feeling is the worst, for me anyway. I get so mad at myself, I eat more. And the weight is going back up! I am the same with rationalization...my husband, my kids, PMS week, the depression I feel some days since I'm on dysability, my anxiety, boredom. I can go on and on...
FC-you're such a doll for being such a supporter and so caring.:smooched:
I want to add the rest of you as BINGE BUDDIES, man I need you guys!

People who understand!

MisoSoup79 · March 2009

You know, before this site, I never knew there was a "label" for this activity. I am a recovering binger. I still fall into it once in a while, but lately I've kept it to a manageable level compared to what I used to do.

My binges were linked to all different things. Sometimes just being bored. Eating was an "escape" activity to fill my time. Sometimes the negative feelings, like sadness, loneliness, guilt over usually unrelated issues and even anger. Sometimes I also "indulged" because I felt I deserved some type of reward and thus binging was born out of feelings of happiness or accomplishment. Another issue I struggle with is the "clean plate" issue. As a kid I had to finish everything on my plate, or I would end up sitting at the table until bedtime. :0( So I learned at an early age to just eat everything. (At restaurants I always prided myself on being able to finish everything... that sounds silly, but it's true. There was always this negative idea in my mind about how I didn't want to be the girl that eats like a bird... because that's not very attractive. WTH?! :noway: ) Well, as an adult, cleaning my plate also translates as "no leftovers." So I'd go back and finish up whatever was left after the "meal." It's just an ingrained habit. No matter what the cause, I would eat until I could barely move... sometimes at a restaurant I would have to unbutton my fly to ease the discomfort. I used to purposely wear baggy shirts to go out so nobody would notice this.

This behavior is so unhealthy and so self destructive. And yet, we continue to struggle with it, even after many of us have identified the triggers and the associated emotions that lead to this activity. It's something all of us will battle with for a long time, perhaps even the rest of our lives.

I binged the other day and went over my calorie goal by 750 cals. I ate enough to give myself a very bad stomach ache and horrible gas pains. Oddly, it took only half as much food to do this as it used to - one of the benefits of learning and practicing portion control. But instead of beating myself up over it, I just said to myself, "see, this is why we shouldn't do this... it hurts. And now I can't be in public because I might offend someone with my gas..." And the next day I just tried again, guilt free. It's easier to recover from it if I don't focus too much on my mistakes.

This used to be a two or three times per week occurrence, each time usually followed by one or two days of extremely low calorie eating... Binging and starving! Now I have maybe 2 or 3 binges per month and ZERO starving episodes. I'm still losing weight... so I know there's hope. I just take it one day at a time.

Good luck fellow bingers. It's not easy... but it's really, really nice that we have support! :flowerforyou:

Fitness_Chick · March 2009

You know, before this site, I never knew there was a "label" for this activity. I am a recovering binger. I still fall into it once in a while, but lately I've kept it to a manageable level compared to what I used to do.

Good luck fellow bingers. It's not easy... but it's really, really nice that we have support! :flowerforyou:

Miso,
So glad you posted that, I had no clue anyone purged when I began doing it years back when I was younger, I thought I'd discovered some cool new trick. Sounds ridiculous now but back then I had no idea I didn't invent it!

:blushing: :laugh:

That's what makes a community like this so helpful, we can realize we aren't alone and that others here do understand what we've been through or go through now.

FC

micheleg7 · March 2009

WOW what a relief to know I'm not alone in this behavior. I really had some self discovery moments this morning reading everyone's stories. I"ve never purged, but boy not because I didn't want to but because I could never get myself to physically do it (but I tried). And I'm so ashamed for getting to the point where I'm so sick that I need to purge to feel better. But then I'd probably only have filled my stomach some more.

For me the reasons are varied, many of those that you've all already mentioned. I think the main reason is a sense of entitlement, especially after a very difficult week or month filled with many "have to" things. I felt I should be able to sit in bed and eat and let DH wait on me hand and foot. What wacky thinking. And poor DH!

All those days and days of sitting in bed doing nothing but eating. I've wasted so much time and missed out on so much of my life.

I think that's where the forgiveness comes into play for me. Forgiving myself and getting up out of bed and moving forward, finding joy in my life once again.

All my love and hugs going out to you today. Thanks for sharing your stories and helping me feel so not alone!
michele

1Corinthians13 · March 2009

Wow, there are so many of us out there! I'm recovering. Every day that I don't binge - and then don't purge if I do binge - is a struggle and a HUGE success, and I've been afraid to share that success with anyone b/c I'm embarrassed and ashamed to admit I do this!

My problem is totally emotional. When I'm freaking out about the stuff going on in my life, it's so tempting to eat that whole bag of chips. Seriously. In fact, just thinking about it right now makes me want to go buy a bag. But I won't. And I'll feel so much better that I didn't.

micheleg7 · March 2009

YAY to not buying that bag of chips!

sherrie22 · March 2009

i know what you mean. i only joined this site a few days ago but reading all of your posts i can finally identify with other people. since having my daughter five years ago i felt so isolated. during pregnancy my weight doubled and i only lost a very small amount of it in the months after her birth. now my teenage sis lives with me too and life is hectic. :ohwell:

at the end of the day my daughter goes to bed, my sis stays at her b/f house and i have my time. the problem with 'my time' is, i seem to associate bingeing with relaxing and having a treat. only it doesnt stop at one little treat, and its on an almost nightly basis. i guess you could say i'm stuck in a rut. :sad:

after watching a movie or doing whatever it is have have decided to do that night i look around and see the empty crisp packet, the cola bottle, the chocolate wrapper and then i feel consumed by guilt. disgusted with myself i resolve to do better the following day.

i love fruit and veg. i really anjoy cooking too. eating properly during the day isnt a problem for me. since joining this site i sit every night reading the things people have posted, then when i go to pick up that packet of crisps, or chocolate bar, or bottle of cola it doesnt seem as appealing any more. i want to do this so badly and i know bingeing is my problem. any advise will be greatfully recieved

thank you all so much. best of luck to every one xx

:flowerforyou:

jszevery · March 2009

I have a toddler, who naps for 2-3 hours a day. Since I try to give her a good example, I only eat healthy when she is around. So, I have been bingeing during naptime. I sit on the couch, rest, and eat the crap.

I gained 35 pounds in 5 months. I joined a gym at Thanksgiving, and since that time I have been able to maintain my weight. But, I haven't lost any.

I know I must stop bingeing at naptime. But, I feel trapped because I can not leave the house (to go to the store or even take a walk) all I can do is wait for her to wake up.

How do I stop???? I do not want to buy a pair of size 14 pants...I just don't.:explode:

I love the forgiveness info. Is there more info out there?

jukramer · March 2009

jszevery -
You are me! My daughter just turned 2, and I binge when she is napping. When I'm with her I eat very healthy meals. I always thought that when she was born, I would change my eating habits for life. Well, I have somewhat, but when she's not around, I sneak the junk in!
Also, I lost 15 pounds on this site in the fall. I somehow, and I mean I don't know how it happened, gained back all of it. I then went into a period of self-loathing and pity, and gained another 5. I have started to exercise more and eat better again, but the bingeing is what's killing me.
It's hard when you can't leave because the food keeps calling. I feel trapped as well.
So, I don't know if it makes you feel any better, but I know EXACLTLY how you feel. You are not alone.

jszevery · March 2009

naptime is so hard!

micheleg7 · March 2009

It sounds like we need to start a Bingeing Buddies daily thread!! Maybe we can post to each other, when things are hard, when we're feeling driven to binge. Whether it's Naptime or in the evenings or whenever. What do you all think?

Fitness_Chick · March 2009

Works for me...greart idea

... can't wait until Mike implements the seperate groups that'll be very cool!
FC

micheleg7 · March 2009

FC will the groups be kind of like the ones on Spark People, with individual groups that you have to join? That will kind of be nice!

So, shall I start the Bingeing Buddies thread in the morning? Whatcha think?

Fitness_Chick · March 2009

FC will the groups be kind of like the ones on Spark People, with individual groups that you have to join? That will kind of be nice!

So, shall I start the Bingeing Buddies thread in the morning? Whatcha think?

I don't know for sure exactly what He has on His mind but something like that would be awesome, this is now becoming a board with many many interests and I can see where that would be a really great asset for the community!:drinker:

Sure I think a thread would be great... I think perhaps if we can pull together the other folks on the other binge thread that would super as well.

FC

for those of you that have trouble with bingeing...

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