Overwhelmed and distressed
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Whatsthemotive
Posts: 145 Member
I know losing weight is hard for everyone and that everyone has challenges and that I shouldn’t feel sorry for myself or overwhelmed but I do. The pandemic has been hard on all of us. I’ve been in strict lock down since March because my husband has congestive heart failure and only one functioning kidney. I work from home. I have mobility issues, because of an old injury. My last surgery was last May when I had ankle bone spur removal. This was the least radical alternative as the doctor recommended total ankle replacement. I still have pain when walking even within the house. My mother died in November 2019 and my brother died in April 2020. I am so overweight and I seem to have no willpower. I also suffer from anxiety and depression and take two medications for that. I will try to stay within my calorie count and do chair exercise each day. I need some willpower and strength.
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Replies
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You are allowed to feel down. You are allowed to feel overwhelmed. You are allowed to feel sorry for yourself.
You have a lot on your plate. Deaths in your family, disability, emotional health problems, a sick husband, and a freaking pandemic! - Everybody would feel overwhelmed with that much bad stuff happening in their lives.
Be nice to yourself. If your best friend told you their life had your problems, would you tell them not to feel overwhelmed? - Be as nice to yourself as you'd be to another person you care about.
Yes, do exercises, yes, count calories, but also, don't hate on yourself for it feeling like hard work. - You ARE adding extra challenges to a life that is already not easy.10 -
Actually, losing weight is just a calorie deficit. No exercise necessary. What exercise gives you is a better mentality and mobility. There are many light movements that you can do, as you mentioned, chair exercises, whatever gets your blood flowing.
The calorie deficit is very important. Plug your stats into MFP and get your daily calorie goal. Get a digital food scale and start weighing and measuring all food and drink. Try to stay within that goal everyday. Eat what you like, however, you will quickly find fruits and vegetables give you more volume for the calories. Change things as you go along and learn.
There were several threads from people in wheelchairs that lost a lot of weight. Also threads from people with mobility issues that managed to better their situation. There is much inspiration out there if you look for it. You can do this and be a success. It will take patience and new habits. Good luck.8 -
feeling down is all part of the process and it’s perfectly okay to have those days where you feel like digress is never going to come. the thing that matters is the next day you bounce back and you kick that negative attitude to the side, put on that grin and get to work so you don’t have to feel that negative feeling again. that always pushes me because i’ve hit some pretty low lows and i don’t ever wanna be back there. with time and patience anything is possible and we are all here to support you on your journey1
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Thank you for the encouragement. I do realize that I need to create a calorie deficit. Because I am sedentary, that means a pretty low intake to lose at a one pound a week rate. Like 1350 calories. It’s just an adjustment that I’ll have to make.2
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I realize that this is not an unusually low calorie count. I’m going to aim for 1200-1300 per day. This is a big change for me. Thank you for the help. Sorry to be a whiner.1
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Whatsthemotive wrote: »I realize that this is not an unusually low calorie count. I’m going to aim for 1200-1300 per day. This is a big change for me. Thank you for the help. Sorry to be a whiner.
You'll do plenty of whining through your journey lol. Its HARD! but it's supposed to be hard and I think remembering that gives you a better chance of not giving up when you've had a tough day! But you'll also have plenty of good days too!
everyone has gave such great advice already there's not much I can add.
But know you'll rarely find judgement here and venting is a great thing to do, especially on the hard days! And considering the amount you've gone through this year I think it's brilliant that you're here. Vent away, it will help you and people on here will be able to offer you support.
I joined a group on here a few years ago, I lost about 12lb then I fell pregnant. And the group had to put up with 9 months of me moaning 😂 but it helped, they offered support and they never got fed up of it!
Good luck
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Take heart. You can do this. Calorie counting works. It has to work, its how our bodies are designed. We are built to store excess calories to see us through hard times. Fortunately, those kinds of hard times have never arrived for most us. But just like we gain weight when eating more calories than we need right now, we will lose weight eating fewer than we need.
But this- weight loss has two parts, a calorie deficit and living with it. Most people go all in on the deficit and try to beat themselves into living with it. That’s a hard road to travel and rarely works out. Add to that there’s a pretty long calorie counting learning curve that involves a lot of trial and error. Trial and error necessarily includes errors but a lot of people to pieces at the first misstep. Don’t be one of them.
Maybe start by calculating your maintenance number and aim for that. Use a food scale whenever possible to crunch the numbers. Always log your intake no matter what. No skipping out if (when) you go over your number. If your plan doesn’t work out at some point, make it better for next time. Weight loss is mostly about problem solving and persistence.
When you have a system in place then calculate a modest calorie deficit and try that for a while. A plan with a small deficit that you can live with is better than an aggressive deficit that you can’t tolerate. Once you have a downward trend working, ride the trend. Never mess with a plan that is working. When that voice in you head starts telling you that you need to lose faster tell the voice to shut up. Losing weight involves a lot changes and it takes time to adjust. Just how it is. You can do this. Good luck.7 -
Calorie deficit is not all about starving yourself.
When I started losing, I replaced soda with water, candy bars with bananas, pineapple and oranges, ice cream & cake with yogurt. Log everything that you eat on MFP.
Find short 10 minute exercises that you like to do at home. These things will become a habit and not a chore.3 -
One week in. 4.6 pounds down. Feeling hopeful now. I don’t need nearly as many calories as I thought I did. I’ve had a couple of days where I actually needed to eat more because I hadn’t eaten my minimum calories. I wasn’t hungry. I didn’t have sweets but ate some more good food. Old habits are hard to break so I’m not out of the woods but at least I’m hopeful.6
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88olds hit so many good points! I would like to add that your emotions can have a big impact on your eating but emotions can be managed. Sometimes there are emotions/issues that you need to work through and finding a good therapist might help. My therapist also had me create a "crisis intervention" list. I made a list of things I can do that lift my mood. Simple things like lighting a fragrant candle, read a book, call a friend, etc. These, of course, have to be personalized to your taste but taking actions for yourself is empowering. Make your well-being a priority and sometimes you have to sit with the sadness for a while but when you're ready you can find ways for self care. For me, this journey has required a lot of introspection and changing my way of thinking gradually. It's a long journey and I hope you realize that you're worth it. Sometimes that's the first step, just realizing that you need to love yourself and be good to yourself.0
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Whatsthemotive wrote: »One week in. 4.6 pounds down. Feeling hopeful now. I don’t need nearly as many calories as I thought I did. I’ve had a couple of days where I actually needed to eat more because I hadn’t eaten my minimum calories. I wasn’t hungry. I didn’t have sweets but ate some more good food. Old habits are hard to break so I’m not out of the woods but at least I’m hopeful.
Early success is so wonderful; congrats. Just remember that is not the norm. And also remember that you are not on a rigid time table--so you don't "have" to lose 1lb/week. Every day you eat at or below your maintenance is a day you are not gaining, and probably losing. If you slip up, that just shifts the date at which you will reach your goal; it does not derail you. Losing just 5% of your weight makes a difference in your health. Find the joy, fun, or "bonus points" in the small wins.
Your situation sounds pretty stressful and tending to your own health at this time can be a challenge or a reward--putting yourself first for the time it takes to plan a meal, or log that food. Maybe look for some inspirational videos around people facing similar challenges. Heck, even if it doesn't inspire you, it kills time, and sometimes that's all we need--something to help us pass the time.
Stay connected here; folks really do care. God bless.
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As get older it gets harder and harder. It is a disease and food addiction is running the lives of so many beautiful people. I try to remember that I have an emotional and physical obsession of using food when I am bored, or stressed out. I try to be as nice as I can to myself. I have wasted a lot of years thinking I can control surgery and salty foods. I am 65, I have diabetics, I can barely get up and down stairs, this has effected my memory, my self worth. But I truly am not going to give up. My bucket lists is to die healthy and happy. Don't waste anymore time. It is hard but try to do your program one day at a time. It makes it easier. stay on blogs like this to keep motivated. God BLess annie3
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Thanks. Great words everyone. And yes, from previous weight losses, I know that I lose more in the first week or so and then it slows way down. Maybe that’s the body’s way of saying keep going.2
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Great loss! I'm at a similar calorie amount (1320) and you have to be crafty if you have a meal that's on the higher calorie side in order to eat at other meal times. We will be great at math while losing weight! I read a lot of threads to see what other people are eating to get new ideas,.especially for an evening snack. Listen to your words about your body telling you to keep going, it's a great msg to yourself!1
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Check out espns film about Alex smiths injury and recovery. Very inspiring. You can and will gain mobility with a positive attitude . Keep up the great start to your health journey!0
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Whatsthemotive wrote: »One week in. 4.6 pounds down. Feeling hopeful now. I don’t need nearly as many calories as I thought I did. I’ve had a couple of days where I actually needed to eat more because I hadn’t eaten my minimum calories. I wasn’t hungry. I didn’t have sweets but ate some more good food. Old habits are hard to break so I’m not out of the woods but at least I’m hopeful.
Fantastic, well done you!
You've had a lot on your plate, give yourself some credit and definitely take this slow. I think your main aim should be to nurture yourself and get yourself healthy, in body and mind. Coincidentally (or not) healthier food will help you drop some pounds too.
Old habits are hard to break, I know all about it, but it can be done.2 -
I'm now 10 weeks in and 18 pounds down. The exercise has helped a lot with the stress, and the progress has helped with the mood. I still want to lose about 35 more, but I'm well on my way, and I'm developing better habits. I calculated it and I've exercised 85% of my days since January 1.12
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I went back and reread your OP. I think you should too. You've come a long way. Bravo!3
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Thank you. The first step was the most difficult.3
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Whatsthemotive wrote: »I'm now 10 weeks in and 18 pounds down. The exercise has helped a lot with the stress, and the progress has helped with the mood. I still want to lose about 35 more, but I'm well on my way, and I'm developing better habits. I calculated it and I've exercised 85% of my days since January 1.
What an inspiring update, well done!0
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