Has anyone ever resented your weight loss success

Throughout my life I have always struggled with food, weight and body image. I was a morbidly obese child and i repeatedly asked out for help from my family and I never seemed to be listened to and was ignored. One of my earlier memories is when I was around 10 years old around 5 foot and around 150 pounds I remember crying to my mother begging for help to lose weight. I was told there was nothing wrong with me, it was puppy fat and nothing was done to help me. As a result I progressively gained weight throughout my childhood and developed extreme problems with body image and was around 290 pounds at my heaviest at 5 foot 9.

I am now 22 and for the first time I’ve been able to finally deal with this problem. I have now lost 150 pounds and for the first time in my life I am a healthy weight. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to truly love my body but it’s the best I’ve ever felt about it and for that I’m grateful. Although most people in my life are happy for me it seems that my family are not too happy.

Oddly enough whilst I was obese as a child it was almost an irrelevancy no matter how unhealthy or unhappy I was it was ignored and I was continually told that there was nothing wrong. Yet here I am for the first time a healthy weight and every time my parents see me they feel the need to comment on my weight. I’ve been told you look unhealthy, you look sick and I am continuously pressured to put weight on. I just don’t understand how it wasn’t a problem when I ate 5000 calories a day and was morbidly obese yet now for the first time in my life I’m a healthy weight eat around 2000 calories a day and am finally comfortable and happy. I really do question whether it is genuine concern on my parents part or if they actively wish to sabotage me.

Does anyone else have problems with people who seem to attempt to discourage your journey.


  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,507 MFP Moderator
    I think we can have a warped view of people we know well. Your family is used to you being overweight, so when they see you at a normal weight if seems strange and unnatural to them. Whereas, some stranger walking down the street at a similar weight to you may see normal, because they have no pre-concieved notions of what they "should" look like. The mind can be a funny thing.

    Make sure you set yourself up a circle of people who can support you as you continue in maintenance. Maybe its a regular weight in or just brief check in with a trainer at your gym, doctor, or just some friends who live a healtier lifestyle. They can help provide a balanced point of view for you.

    As for your family, there are two approaches you can take. Ask politely to not discuss your weight, and stay firm on that. Or, be willing to discuss it with a few facts in your pocket. You track what you eat and know you are eating enough, you are at a healthy BMI, maybe even see if you can find pictures of people who are a similar weight and heigh to yourself for comparison.

    Managing relationships can be tough, wishing the best for you!
  • Angela937
    Angela937 Posts: 514 Member
    Yes, my ex husband while we were still married. He hated that I was getting healthy, because he secretly had the fear that I would leave him once I was finally pretty. He started accusing me of having affairs, and claiming that the only reason I was losing weight was to attract other men.

    Well, it took 3 years after the divorce before I even considered a new partner and I'm still fat. So that blows his conspiracy to pieces!