Hello Skinny B***h, I know you're in there. Come out, come o

Options
Hello Everyone, and welcome to my quest to find my inner skinny B***h...lol I'm not really sure what will become of this, but I need someone to be accountable to, I need to tell the truth about what I'm actually eating and how I'm feeling, and most of all....I need encouragement and support.

Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful support system at home....a wonderful, mostly skinny, support system. I feel like I need to vent to someone who has walked in my shoes, who appreciates my struggles. It's disheartening, to go out with my tight body besties, and hear them complain about how fat they are. I mean, what must they think of me?

I have been down this road before…overweight, unhealthy, unhappy. I decided back then that I was going to fix things, so I started following weight watchers and I lost 50 lbs. I was so proud of myself, I felt strong and healthy...I hit a wall. I had 10 lbs to go, and the scale wouldn't budge for months. I felt discouraged, I stopped counting points, the weight crept back slowly. Which brings me to where I am today....5.1" and 200 lbs.

I just want to be happy again....I feel like I forget how. I just know that she's in still in me somewhere. That happy, healthy, Skinny girl, who loves her life. It's unfair to the people who love me....all the negativity I feel for who I've become, I take out on the people who are most important to me. You can only push people away so many time, before they stop coming back.

So this time I'm gonna make it happen....I'm tired of playing hide and seek with my skinny self....I'm gonna find my Skinny B***h once and for all!!!

Cheers

Replies

  • martina123321
    Options
    DAMN RIGHT!! I'M WITH YOU ON THAT!!!
  • mssweetjay
    Options
    Hello!! you on the right road so far. So that means you on a great start. You will find this site amazing!!! I understand your frustrations big time. I been there so many times that my inner crazy self has been screaming for such a long time because of the rollercoaster ride!!!! I wish you the best of luck and ' high five" to ya!!! you may have some mini falls but as long as you get back up you will be fine!! You are welcome to add me if you like!!! Again good luck and welcome aboard !!!
  • aclark6818
    aclark6818 Posts: 209 Member
    Options
    I too had success with WW and then when I stopped & had 2 kids I was up to 229. I really like this because no one tells me what to eat--I eat what I like, smaller portions of course, and I'm doing well. I adjust my exercise to how I'm eating. One time I had a rolo McFlurry (snacksize) & it was 500+ calories--boy did I have to walk briskly that night!!!. I've learned how to portion my food better. The friends can be very supportive and helpful with food ideas & recipes.
    The way I see it. You are in control, you've taken the first step to start and this tool can help you meet your goals. You only cheat yourself if you aren't truthful about what you eat (my Dr. told me that). Good Luck with your journey to find your skinny b***h!!! You'll find her & she'll be beautiful!!!
    :flowerforyou:
  • marialynnporter
    marialynnporter Posts: 95 Member
    Options
    I know what you mean. Yea I am not to big but I do k ow what you mean and I need someone to vent to all so and I want to be happy with my self. So if you would like to be my friend on here you can and you and I can vent out together and hall each other out. :) just give me an add and I will add you.
  • bluedecor
    Options
    I'm also 5'1" and I've been down the same road. I told a friend of mine, commenting on a large woman, that behind every large person there is a story. Getting big doesn't just happen overnight, it is the culmination of many poor decisions made over decades, sometimes. What is your story? How is it that letting yourself get so big was more important than anything else? What was the payoff for you? Was your eating emotional to soothe emotional pain? Was it an effort to combat depression? Is there someone in your history with a substance abuse problem?

    I think that the abused substance of choice for many people is food. Unlike other abused substances, one cannot just quit eating. Look for the link between food and your inner self. Get to the heart of who you are, and find another way to deal with your needs. You can be liberated from living to eat to eating to live. I no longer think about my next meal as I finish the one I'm eating. There has been a transformation. I encourage you to seek this insight for yourself as you travel down your road.
  • nikkig28
    nikkig28 Posts: 9 Member
    Options
    Hey All. Thanks for the encouragement!! You're exactly right Bluedecor....those are the hard questions I need to be asking myself. I'm excited that I'll find the accountability and support I need here. Thanks again.
  • danaclang
    Options
    I know how you feel! I wish you the best down the road to a happier and healthier you!