I really need some support

beth_kai · January 2021

I'm really struggling with my weight at the moment, having gained 20 pounds last year, I'm working on losing 28 since i had a couple to lose before lockdown gains.
I keep losing two pounds, gaining them back, losing them again and so on.
I feel so lost and unmotivated especially when i feel like I'm giving it my all and not seeing results. My family are big eaters and since returning home from uni due to lockdown, I've fallen back into old habits and can't seem to eat healthily independently anymore. I have a major life event coming (now in 14 weeks) that I've been trying to lose these 28lbs for but it's not happening and i just don't want it to come and me still feel the same about my body.
I previously lost 11stone but these last 28lbs are the hardest I've ever tackled. I just feel so defeated.
Not to mention todays period binge which has completely ruined my mood.
I kmow there's not anything anyone can physically do for me but just telling me what you think is possible might help me. I just feel alone

x_stephisaur_x · January 2021

Hi Beth, big hugs

There's nothing as frustrating as a stall in your weight loss.

Being home with your family will definitely be a contributing factor, but as you're likely to be home for the forseeable (I assume) it will need addressing.

Could you offer to cook some of the meals at home to ensure you're eating in a way that aligns with your goals? Have a look online for Slimming World and Pinch of Nom recipes - nobody will know that it's healthy food. Highly recommend the Pizza Pasta by Pinch of Nom, your family won't know what's hit them

A lot of your feelings are likely hormonal right now - there is absolutely nothing worse than the period munchies! Drink lots of water, go curl up with a hot water bottle and binge watch some rubbish on the TV. It really does help. I find a good bubble bath usually does the trick too.

If I were in your shoes, I would put on my big girl pants (and they're pretty big since Christmas lol) and plan a week's menu out for yourself. Get the food in (or ask your parents to get it, you're a poor student after all!) and batch prepare as much as you can this weekend. If you have something in the fridge or freezer that you can reach for when you want it, but that aligns with your goals, you will be setting yourself up for success.

If you need to, buy a mini fridge for your room. Lets face it, the student loan isn't being spent on nights out at the moment, is it?

Also, be kind to yourself. You've previously lost an incredible amount of weight, the 2 stone you've gained since then is just a drop in the ocean. You can absolutely lose it again.

Sending lots of love - chin up, you can do this

beth_kai · January 2021

x_stephisaur_x wrote: »

Hi Beth, big hugs

There's nothing as frustrating as a stall in your weight loss.

Being home with your family will definitely be a contributing factor, but as you're likely to be home for the forseeable (I assume) it will need addressing.

Could you offer to cook some of the meals at home to ensure you're eating in a way that aligns with your goals? Have a look online for Slimming World and Pinch of Nom recipes - nobody will know that it's healthy food. Highly recommend the Pizza Pasta by Pinch of Nom, your family won't know what's hit them

A lot of your feelings are likely hormonal right now - there is absolutely nothing worse than the period munchies! Drink lots of water, go curl up with a hot water bottle and binge watch some rubbish on the TV. It really does help. I find a good bubble bath usually does the trick too.

If I were in your shoes, I would put on my big girl pants (and they're pretty big since Christmas lol) and plan a week's menu out for yourself. Get the food in (or ask your parents to get it, you're a poor student after all!) and batch prepare as much as you can this weekend. If you have something in the fridge or freezer that you can reach for when you want it, but that aligns with your goals, you will be setting yourself up for success.

If you need to, buy a mini fridge for your room. Lets face it, the student loan isn't being spent on nights out at the moment, is it?

Also, be kind to yourself. You've previously lost an incredible amount of weight, the 2 stone you've gained since then is just a drop in the ocean. You can absolutely lose it again.

Sending lots of love - chin up, you can do this

Thank you so so much for your reply. I've actually been in bed doing nothing but crying, I'm definitely very hormonal.

Luckily I work at the moment so i do all my own shopping and cooking. But it's watching my family eat mcdonalds or munching on my favourite foods that is proving to be the hard part for me. I did a lot better when i lived independently because it was just never in my reach.
I'm also cooking my parents dinners when they don't order in since my mum is recovering from leukemia and my dad works, but i work nights so caring for my mum and running the house until 6pm when my dad gets home is tiring.

I need to put my big girl pants on, i know, and i know that inconsistency is most likely my biggest foe right now. I work hard but will then cave in on a Saturday night. Or a treat meal on a sunday before work actually becomes a treat day. Most likely blowing my efforts made during the week.

I just want to finally hit my first weight goal i ever set which is 150lbs. It just feels impossible and i since I'm no longer very overweight, i find i don't even know what calorie goal i should be aiming for.

But thank you again. I don't know your age but it felt like advice my mum might have given me if she could. Firm but comforting, i really appreciate it. X

x_stephisaur_x · January 2021

Slightly upset that I sounded like your mum - I'm only 29

It's good that you're working and able to do your own shopping and cooking - that will really help. Is there any way you could factor some of your favourite foods into your week? We have McDonald's relatively often, but it can quite easily slot into my calorie allowance, particularly if I've exercised that day.

I'm really sorry to hear about your mum's leukemia, that must be really difficult for you. Have you been able to access any support to talk to someone about how it's affected you? I know you said she's recovering, but it must be taking a mental toll on you. It's a lot of responsibility for someone your age (ok, now I do sound old!)

Do you have a slow cooker? I'm out of the house from 7.30am - 5.30pm each day, and then I have a toddler to attend to, but my slow cooker saves my sanity. Prep in the morning, stick it on low and dinner is just ready when you want it. You can usually slow cook things in the oven on a low temperature too.

Try to reframe your thinking. You aren't "caving in" on a Saturday night, you're enjoying a well deserved treat that you shouldn't feel guilty about. If you can remove the guilt, it should help curb the bingeing.

I think you can absolutely meet your goal of 150lbs. I was that weight once, and I remember that those last 2 stone were the hardest to shift. I think your body settles at certain weights. To push through it, I logged everything that went in my mouth (even if it did put me over my daily allowance) and I drank so much water I might as well have lived in the toilet. It helped though, and once I pushed through, the rest of the weight was relatively easy.

Good luck

X

Br00klynbaby90 · January 2021

If you need an hear I’m around !

beth_kai · January 2021

x_stephisaur_x wrote: »

Slightly upset that I sounded like your mum - I'm only 29

It's good that you're working and able to do your own shopping and cooking - that will really help. Is there any way you could factor some of your favourite foods into your week? We have McDonald's relatively often, but it can quite easily slot into my calorie allowance, particularly if I've exercised that day.

I'm really sorry to hear about your mum's leukemia, that must be really difficult for you. Have you been able to access any support to talk to someone about how it's affected you? I know you said she's recovering, but it must be taking a mental toll on you. It's a lot of responsibility for someone your age (ok, now I do sound old!)

Do you have a slow cooker? I'm out of the house from 7.30am - 5.30pm each day, and then I have a toddler to attend to, but my slow cooker saves my sanity. Prep in the morning, stick it on low and dinner is just ready when you want it. You can usually slow cook things in the oven on a low temperature too.

Try to reframe your thinking. You aren't "caving in" on a Saturday night, you're enjoying a well deserved treat that you shouldn't feel guilty about. If you can remove the guilt, it should help curb the bingeing.

I think you can absolutely meet your goal of 150lbs. I was that weight once, and I remember that those last 2 stone were the hardest to shift. I think your body settles at certain weights. To push through it, I logged everything that went in my mouth (even if it did put me over my daily allowance) and I drank so much water I might as well have lived in the toilet. It helped though, and once I pushed through, the rest of the weight was relatively easy.

Good luck

X

I really didn't mean to make you feel old 🤣 perhaps maternal would have been a better word~. Either way, it was meant with love😆

I haven't spoken to anyone about it, I've just kept busy, working nights, caring for her and going out for runs. I think I'm dealing ok......i think.

I don't have a slow cooker but preparing meals is a good idea!
I do write a weekly meal plan for lunches and dinners then buy my grocies that way, same as when i was at uni.
Thing is though, i don't truly know how many calories i should be eating. The whole time, mfp has just said 1200 and i don't know if that'd actually correct.

Guilt is a huge issue for me (besides the inconsistency) and i still have a lot of hang-ups from being bigger. I still see myself as a size 26 when I'm actually a size 12. I'm not sure how to change that.

I'll try the dedicated logging, even tiny mouthfuls plus the water. I drink a lot of squash which might add to the cals.

Do you think it's possible to lose two pounds a week though? To meet my goal in 14 weeks~ 🥺🥺

Thank you again for your words, i really needed them. I cried into an easter egg, had a nap and spoke with my lecturer about going back to uni in sept (i dropped out to care for mum) so am feeling a lot better albeit bad for consuming an ungodly amount of food today 😔
X

beth_kai · January 2021

Br00klynbaby90 wrote: »

If you need an hear I’m around !

Thank you so much. An ear is most definitely needed. And i would similarly be here if you needed a sounding board~~

snowflake954 · January 2021

It's hard when life turns upside down. There's stress there and going for a walk or run is the very best to clear your head. Eating differently than everyone else is not easy and needs planning. I cook for 3 men everyday and sometimes 4. They can eat differently than I can, so I need to acknowledge that. Yes, I want to eat like them. It's a good idea to modify what they're having. Fast food?--take off the bun, scrape off some of the sauce, don't eat the fries,...there are ways. Sometimes you can just have what you'd like, but plan for it. It should not be an excuse to binge. Don't cut your calories too low. 2 lbs a week is too much when you don't have much to lose. It just goes slower at the end. You've lost a lot of weight and that's wonderful. Good luck, and you can do it. I think you just need a bit of patience.

x_stephisaur_x · January 2021

beth_kai wrote: »

I really didn't mean to make you feel old 🤣 perhaps maternal would have been a better word~. Either way, it was meant with love😆

I haven't spoken to anyone about it, I've just kept busy, working nights, caring for her and going out for runs. I think I'm dealing ok......i think.

I don't have a slow cooker but preparing meals is a good idea!
I do write a weekly meal plan for lunches and dinners then buy my grocies that way, same as when i was at uni.
Thing is though, i don't truly know how many calories i should be eating. The whole time, mfp has just said 1200 and i don't know if that'd actually correct.

Guilt is a huge issue for me (besides the inconsistency) and i still have a lot of hang-ups from being bigger. I still see myself as a size 26 when I'm actually a size 12. I'm not sure how to change that.

I'll try the dedicated logging, even tiny mouthfuls plus the water. I drink a lot of squash which might add to the cals.

Do you think it's possible to lose two pounds a week though? To meet my goal in 14 weeks~ 🥺🥺

Thank you again for your words, i really needed them. I cried into an easter egg, had a nap and spoke with my lecturer about going back to uni in sept (i dropped out to care for mum) so am feeling a lot better albeit bad for consuming an ungodly amount of food today 😔
X

Have you tried looking up your BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) and TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure) online? It’ll let you know how many calories you burn at rest and then you can work out how many calories you need for weight loss. In theory MFP does this for you, but I know that sometimes it doesn’t.

I think your goal of 2lbs a week is definitely doable. I’m aiming for similar, happy to be your accountability buddy if it helps

Xx

beth_kai · January 2021

x_stephisaur_x wrote: »

beth_kai wrote: »

I really didn't mean to make you feel old 🤣 perhaps maternal would have been a better word~. Either way, it was meant with love😆

I haven't spoken to anyone about it, I've just kept busy, working nights, caring for her and going out for runs. I think I'm dealing ok......i think.

I don't have a slow cooker but preparing meals is a good idea!
I do write a weekly meal plan for lunches and dinners then buy my grocies that way, same as when i was at uni.
Thing is though, i don't truly know how many calories i should be eating. The whole time, mfp has just said 1200 and i don't know if that'd actually correct.

Guilt is a huge issue for me (besides the inconsistency) and i still have a lot of hang-ups from being bigger. I still see myself as a size 26 when I'm actually a size 12. I'm not sure how to change that.

I'll try the dedicated logging, even tiny mouthfuls plus the water. I drink a lot of squash which might add to the cals.

Do you think it's possible to lose two pounds a week though? To meet my goal in 14 weeks~ 🥺🥺

Thank you again for your words, i really needed them. I cried into an easter egg, had a nap and spoke with my lecturer about going back to uni in sept (i dropped out to care for mum) so am feeling a lot better albeit bad for consuming an ungodly amount of food today 😔
X

Have you tried looking up your BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) and TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure) online? It’ll let you know how many calories you burn at rest and then you can work out how many calories you need for weight loss. In theory MFP does this for you, but I know that sometimes it doesn’t.

I think your goal of 2lbs a week is definitely doable. I’m aiming for similar, happy to be your accountability buddy if it helps

Xx

I've looked it up (now I'm not great with numbers, I'm a language student haha) and i think it basically aligns with mfp so I'll stick with that for now.

I'm also thinking I'll try to include a little treat within cals each day so as to not binge on the weekend.

I would absolutely love you as an accountability buddy! 🥺🤗🤗

snowflake954 · January 2021

Well, your other thread is giving you the right answers. 2 lbs a week with 28 lbs to lose is too aggressive. Follow their advice.

I really need some support

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