Self Sabotage

bnaforeverandalways
bnaforeverandalways Posts: 4 Member
in Motivation and Support
I need some major advice on over coming self sabotage. I have been trying for years (about 15) to take control of my health. I have the best intentions, I really want this. Ive tried all sorts of tactics suchs as one small habit at a time, all in cold turkey, the 80/20. Ive tried with only nutrition, ive tried with inly exercise, ive tried with both together. As soon as I start making progress something in me snaps and I spiral into self sabotaging. Why??? Do I need counseling? Im so frustrated and angry with myself. Any advice would be appreciated.

Replies

  • littlebabekitty
    littlebabekitty Posts: 398 Member
    I am also struggling with this issue. I had lost over 70lbs and I was doing well but let myself go and was hit with stress and depression. Stopped keeping track of meals, started eating anything i wanted at any time and stopped working out. Gained back 80lbs. I am back now trying to get back to my goal weight. I believe this is due to inability to cope in other healthy ways and also lack of balanced meals, making hunger come later in the day. I am lacking motivation but trying my best to push forward. I could use support. Let's encourage eachother.
  • gigius72
    gigius72 Posts: 183 Member
    I self sabotaged myself so many times... And the sad part is I knew what I was doing.
    When I was 18 I was tired of been obese so I went to a gym which had a trainer and a dietician inside. Calorie counting and a lot of pain working hard got me in a wonderful shape.
    I moved to the United States. Not enough money to go to a gym, new food and above new portions...I ended up to 300 lbs.
    I embraced a whole food lifestyle (call it vegan) and lost weight easy. From there it was a continuous going up and down. I would get in shape and since I could do it I would spend a long time eating crap. Regained weight and I went back to lose it again.
    A doctor told me that it is not healthy doing this way and actually this time I was put on statin. That was the scare that made up my mind. I'll get in shape and I'll stay that way.
  • gigius72
    gigius72 Posts: 183 Member
    In order to get in shape you need to find something that is not too hard to do for you. There are many ways to lose weight, look at your options and see which one you see yourself doing effortlessly.
    Just my 2 cents...
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    no one but you can figure out or tell you why you are self-sabotaging or losing motivation.

    you could be eating too few calories or restricting foods you enjoy
    you could be doing too much too fast and burning out
    you could be losing motivation when weight loss is slow and get discouraged
    you could be subconsciously thinking you do not deserve to be at a better/healthier weight
    could be any number of things not listed, or a combination of things.

    Therapy could help, I tend to think everyone can find some benefit in therapy. Learning how to properly weigh and log foods, learning that no foods are bad and as long as you are within your calorie goals you will still lose weight (I have oreos or some kind of sweet/cookies nearly every day- my diary is public-go look LOL), setting your deficit a bit higher to make room for more food (better to lose weight slower and stick to it than to give up and gain again), learning that being over one day is not a failure. just life, and its okay.

    People (and I include myself in that, as someone who lost 130 pounds and gained back some) can be too hard on themselves. We set expectations or goals that can be very difficult, if not impossible, to meet. And then we get discouraged and quit. And feel bad/guilty, and eat to make ourselves feel better. self destructive and not healthy, to be sure, but it happens to a LOT of people.

    For me, I found long ago, that being KIND to myself was key. I have my calories set at a deficit that is higher than what many would choose, but it allows me to eat, truly, what I want. I am not a breakfast person, so I don't eat breakfast (my coffee creamer is non negotiable and the FIRST thing I log daily lol). My lunch is typically pretty light. This leaves more room for my calories for dinner/ end of day. Theres not much I can't fit in. I workout because I do enjoy it, and its good for my heart and body. And it can give me some extra calories to eat when I feel I need them. My goal and intent is to workout 3 times a week, I usually manage 4-5, and I have weeks where I don't workout at all (for various reasons, usually a busy schedule or some sort of chaos). I eat sweets at night because it is a known coping mechanism of mine, and I make room for them 99.9% of the time. On the rare days I am over on my calories... its okay. life happens. bad days happen. It does not ruin anything. I just do better the next day. Holidays and my birthday I eat what I want, but still try to log the best I can.

  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
    Health and fitness are 90% mindset.

    With most of my clients, we spend a lot of time working on their "why" and developing self-love.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,534 Member
    What is take control of your health? What are the things would you do if you had control of your health? Or how would you be different?
  • panda4153
    panda4153 Posts: 418 Member
    I don’t know if it’s as much self sabatoge for me as it is complacency. Losing weight is simple, eat less then I burn, but it’s hard because I have a big appetite. It’s incredibly impressive how much I’m capable of eating. I will get down to a certain point, and even though it’s not my target weight yet, I want to be able to just eat, so I get to a spot that’s good enough and then I’m justifying big splurges, more and more. I am back on track now and only 20lbs from my goal. I’ve lost 47 pounds so far. I had lost more but the cycle above I’ve gained some back.

    What has helped me the most has been building habits. I eat the same few thing a for breakfast and lunch and it gives me more flexibility with dinner. I workout every day no matter what. I track my food no matter what.

    Having the right habits helps me from backsliding too far, and makes it easier to progress forward.

    How I wish I could just eat all the cupcakes some days lol.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    88olds wrote: »
    What is take control of your health? What are the things would you do if you had control of your health? Or how would you be different?

    This^^^

    And what exactly are you doing that is self sabotage? What behaviors?
  • HerNameIsMischief
    HerNameIsMischief Posts: 158 Member
    Self-sabotage has been a problem for me as well. A lot of the things about me physically can't be changed and it's been very easy for me to say, "What's the point of working your heart out when the best you can do is be 'less unattractive'? You'll probably still get rude remarks thanks to your height and build. Why bother?" And then I'd reach for food, or booze, or weed to deal with my anger over the things I can't change and my horrible jealousy of people who lose a ton of weight and go from being big to small and my fury over people who insist I "learn to love yourself" or "Looks only matter to shallow people" or "Lots of guys wish they were taller and bigger so you don't have the right to complain."

    A fair amount of these thoughts have been silenced. They're still sort of "there", but I don't think about them as much. As cracked as it sounds, there have actually been times that I've missed having an excuse to just give up and give in.

    I've found that feelings and cravings come in waves. The same is true for hunger, craving booze or drugs...you get that impulse and often you give in....but when you don't (or can't) give in, you find that the hunger or the craving will usually go away if you ignore it. I'll remind myself "You can get through this. If you were somewhere you couldn't eat/drink/get high, you'd manage to get through it without going crazy." But sometimes it's hard to take our own advice.

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