True 911 calls

Dolphingirlie81
Dolphingirlie81 Posts: 322
edited October 2 in Chit-Chat
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Hi, is this the Police?
Dispatcher: This is 9-1-1. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before.


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?
Caller: Fire, I guess.
Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?
Caller: I was wondering...does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks?
Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?
Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well.. do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?
Dispatcher: Help you what?
Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!



And the winner is...

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.


via : http://www.laughitout.com/2007/06/funnyreal-911-calls.html#ixzz1Xb8qvzWr

Replies

  • cmc817
    cmc817 Posts: 2
    wow.. U kidding me.. are people really that stupid??!! LMAO
  • snkeller24
    snkeller24 Posts: 459
    I am a 911 dispatcher, and you wouldn't believe some of the reasons people call 911. You can't fix stupid.
  • laneybird
    laneybird Posts: 532 Member
    Sadly, none of this surprises me lol. I work at 9-1-1 and people never cease to amaze me lol. Thank you for sharing
  • gdr1976
    gdr1976 Posts: 460 Member
    Yes people call 9-1-1 for everything, if you can think of a stupid scenario, it's probably been done. You can't make this stuff up.
  • eillamarie
    eillamarie Posts: 862 Member
    I totally understand the husband calling for his wife who was in labor, most guys freak out when it happens! lol
  • jaded_rose
    jaded_rose Posts: 298 Member
    I can believe it. I've seen news reports of people calling 9-1-1 because their fast food order wasn't the way they wanted it.
  • heatherb1414
    heatherb1414 Posts: 6
    hahahaha I needed a good laugh! Thank you!
  • bookworm03
    bookworm03 Posts: 88 Member
    When I was in highschool a friend of mine had someone call the cops on him for stealing his weed.
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
    my bro is a paramedic - and they get weird calls. i can only GUESS at the insanity before the screening process! LOL.
  • Dolphingirlie81
    Dolphingirlie81 Posts: 322
    I am a 911 dispatcher, and you wouldn't believe some of the reasons people call 911. You can't fix stupid.


    My cousin is a 911 operator and she has told some stories. I've been talking to this guy who is a firemen. I love hearing about people who call for crazy stuff.
  • onelilredhen
    onelilredhen Posts: 12
    oh, yes, they are that stupid!!!!
  • Andythefitfamilyman
    Andythefitfamilyman Posts: 420
    Best thread ever, ty.OP
  • snkeller24
    snkeller24 Posts: 459
    My favorite is people who complain about fireworks on 4th of July. Sadly you can't tell them to pound sand.
  • kristlynngirl
    kristlynngirl Posts: 121 Member
    I, too, am a 9-1-1 dispatcher....and the stupidity of the general public never ceases to amaze me.
  • laneybird
    laneybird Posts: 532 Member
    My favorite is people who complain about fireworks on 4th of July. Sadly you can't tell them to pound sand.

    Exactly!! Same with New Year's Eve...
  • 42hockeymom
    42hockeymom Posts: 521 Member
    Too funny!

    I worked as an EMT on an ambulance service on a small Indian Reservation for almost 8 years. One call we got was for a girl (who lived with her infant daughter at her aunties house) who had an ear ache and did not have enough gas to get to the urgent care clinic in town. Could we take her there, then when she was done, pick her up, drive her to Walgreens to get her script filled and bring her back? Uh, no. My partner, who was an elder of the tribe ripped her a new one! Things happen a lot differently on the Rez.


    The funniest and saddest, happened to me and a male partner of mine when we went to a call for a girl who was going into labor and who's water had broke. But she "thought" she might be two months pregnant. When we got there, and checked her out, she was fine, possibly pregnant and around 15 years old. My partner stepped out and I had a "talk" with her explaining some things. We laughted going up there thinking "yeah right how can someone be so dumb" and then almost cried on the way back, because no one took the time to teach her anything. Here I was, a stranger trying to teach her the birds and the bees tactfully, quickly, and reassure her that she was ok, and HOPING TO GOD, she'd call the clinic in the morning and speak to a co-worker of mine who happened to be a nurse also, who could do a much better job than I could and have way more time than I could.

    Oh I could go on and on. Like I said, sad and funny. Police, Fire, EMS, Dispatchers (God Love Them) ER Docs & Nurses, always have job security as long as there are people on this earth.
  • MegJo
    MegJo Posts: 398 Member
    Yep - another dispatcher here..... trust me, we have PLENTY of job security out there. :P
  • Kaycurrier
    Kaycurrier Posts: 231
    not a dispatcher but I worked at the police department and the calls we had to respond to, OMG, sometimes it was so hard to bite my tongue and not say what I really wanted to say.

    Worse one so far,

    Tenage girl locker her keys in her car (normal) we arrive and tell her we don't have the tool to slip in the windown, I think it's called a slim jim? Anyways, she starts crying, like really crying, so I ask her what's wrong?

    "My cell phone is in there and I can see this new guy im talking to is texting me, if I don't anser it he may just give up, you HAVE to help me!"

    I smiled and was like, we can let you call you insurance company?

    "My dad dropped me last month, this is the fourth time I have done this, but this time it is serious! I really like this guy.!"

    The officer and I looked at eachother and said to her have a good day and left
  • jcannon15
    jcannon15 Posts: 148
    I'm an EMT in an area that gets alot of strange calls, unfortuantely stupidity is job security and we have alot of stupidity in the town i work in. A woman called the police( 2pm in the afternoon) because an "ax murderer" was at her window, so instead of being axed to death she opted for a bottle of tylenol and swallowed the whole thing only to realize it was a tree branch that fell at her window not the supposed "ax murderer" and now she has 70ish tylenol in her system, Brillant!
  • AimingHighWeighingLow
    AimingHighWeighingLow Posts: 192 Member
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEsaI-cS-kI


    Thats funny!


    and this one is UNBELIEVABLE!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ddp8TB2RzI&feature=related
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