Self esteem, motivation to change, and healthy food relationship

gbarnett2142
gbarnett2142 Posts: 5 Member
in Motivation and Support
My self esteem has always been low. Like LOW. Not all of the low self esteem is attributed to my unhappiness with my weight but a lot of it is. I feel motivated to change and stay changed because of that. The issue is that I feel like I’m not capable of having a healthy relationship with food. I’m either eating what I want or I’m so restrictive that I know it’s unhealthy. I have anxiety about how my weight will change even with the weight of the food if I eat it; it’s not just calories for me. I know it’s disordered but I don’t know how to fix it. I’m only eating about 1100 a day at most and I am extremely liberal with my calorie counts as I weigh everything and then err on the side of over calculating than under. I hate this. I hate being fat. I hate it all. I’m down 95lbs from my highest weight and 40 since I restarted my journey. When does it feel better??

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Replies

  • WeatherJane
    WeatherJane Posts: 1,492 Member
    Have you reached out to a doctor or someone who might be able to give you professional/medical advice?

    I've delt with an eating disorder, and anxiety and working with a therapist was a big help for me.
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
    Recognizing that my weight --and my unhealthy relationship with food AND my unhealthy relationship with my own body--were as much mental as physical was a real turning point for me.

    While my weight has continued to go up and down throughout my life, counseling, meditation, and learning some strategies to deal with stress and anxiety OTHER than stuffing down my feelings with food, and practicing acts and thoughts of self-love and self-care have helped me tremendously.

    There's no shame in asking for help :-)
  • OliveSalt
    OliveSalt Posts: 47 Member
    But your HAIR gurl <3
  • 7rainbow
    7rainbow Posts: 161 Member
    I'm with ya. I want to lose weight but remember how even when I was at my goal weight I hated myself. I have a therapist, psychiatrist, and a lot of meds which is helping a bit. Unfortunately weight loss doesn't fix self love, so I would recommend talking with some people and looking into a counselor (you may have to try around, took me a lot before I found the right one for me). Even a self help book is better than nothing. Sending hugs!
  • TheresaM787
    TheresaM787 Posts: 751 Member
    I’m so sorry to hear what you are/have been going through. You are not alone. Have you thought about talking to someone? Have you tried the free 14 day Noom trial? I only did the trial (I wanted to see what the fuss was about), it helped me have a better understanding of what I’m eating. I’m also finding the community here , on MyFitnessPal, very supportive. You are not alone. You can do this.

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