I just keep falling off the wagon

Naomi852021
Naomi852021 Posts: 18 Member
in Food and Nutrition
Can anyone help me ! I literally hate myself but I am finding it so hard to restrict my eating.

Replies

  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    what do you mean by restrict?

    nothing is off limits for me. I eat the things I want. I weigh and portion them. I have cookies pretty much every day. i make it fit.

    creating a deficit that is too low will lead to burnout. restricting foods you like will lead to frustration, and burn out.

    set a reasonable calorie goal and eat within it.
  • Naomi852021
    Naomi852021 Posts: 18 Member
    I think I’ve just restricted so heavily in the past- around 1000 a day, that now I even find it difficult to stay within anything reasonable. I’ve lost all ability to know what’s too much or too little. I go between eating too much, to eating too little. So I just let go of the reigns a few months ago and I e gained again. Now I’m trying to restrict/ count calories again and I’m constantly starving and end up over eating. A reasonable goal is probably 1,500 for me. I’ve already had 300-400 today and that’s just coffees with semi skimmed milk and a little cheese plus an apple. Just seems like a lot of calories for not being full at all.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,128 Member
    What rate of loss do you currently have yourself set to? and what are your stats (height, weight, age).

    If that's a recent photo, you certainly don't look obese so do not need to be restricting as low as you have been in the past, 1200 calories is the lowest recommendation for females for weight loss to ensure adequate nutrition anything lower should be medically prescribed/monitored.



  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,976 Member
    Naomi852021 wrote: »
    I think I’ve just restricted so heavily in the past- around 1000 a day, that now I even find it difficult to stay within anything reasonable. I’ve lost all ability to know what’s too much or too little. I go between eating too much, to eating too little. So I just let go of the reigns a few months ago and I e gained again. Now I’m trying to restrict/ count calories again and I’m constantly starving and end up over eating. A reasonable goal is probably 1,500 for me. I’ve already had 300-400 today and that’s just coffees with semi skimmed milk and a little cheese plus an apple. Just seems like a lot of calories for not being full at all.
    Well let's see. If you just ate a cheese stick (I like string cheese) that's 80 calories. A medium size apple is about 95 calories, so now we're at 175 calories. That means that your coffee is 125 calories and if it's just semi skimmed milk, it shouldn't be more than 50 calories, so you're adding something else.
    Anyway, your best bet would be to get on an eating program that's STRUCTURED so you can get used to eating that way for a duration. We eat certain ways based on habitual behavior. For instance, I like to eat a night before bed so I KNOW I'm not going to give that up. What I do to compensate for it is that I don't eat in the morning. So my first meal isn't till after 11am-12pm, but I do eat up to 11pm at night always accounting for my TOTAL calories.
    Consider looking at NOOM to help you too. I've recommended it to a few clients and it's helped them to mentally hurdle some overeating issues.
    This site also may help: https://www.eatingwell.com/article/287714/7-day-diet-meal-plan-to-lose-weight-1500-calories/


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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  • Naomi852021
    Naomi852021 Posts: 18 Member
    Thanks for the response. What are you trying to get at bu breaking down what I have eaten ? Did I give you the impression that I don’t know how to count calories ?
  • Naomi852021
    Naomi852021 Posts: 18 Member
    I am actually very good at counting calories when I DO it. It’s when I don’t do it that it just goes mental. I can’t just eat normally I feel.

    My semi skimmed milk has around 250 calories. I don’t have sugar in my coffee, but coffees suppress my appetite hugely. So I had two big cups with lots of milk. The cheese was also counted correct as was my apple- thank you. Around 400 in total today and I’m starving right now.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,976 Member
    Naomi852021 wrote: »
    Thanks for the response. What are you trying to get at bu breaking down what I have eaten ? Did I give you the impression that I don’t know how to count calories ?
    You gave your total calorie count. So either that coffee is real big, or your counting is off somewhere. And it's not uncommon for many to under/overestimate their calorie counts if they aren't accurately measuring them. Do you honestly measure all grams and milliters/liters of food and drink with a scale or are you taking just the numbers off the food list?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png
  • Naomi852021
    Naomi852021 Posts: 18 Member
    I just feel like the more I eat, the more I want to eat. So if I had 1000 calories for breakfast - I would just be wanting to eat all day long. Whereas the longer I put off eating, the less I eat in the day. What’s that about ?
  • Naomi852021
    Naomi852021 Posts: 18 Member
    I do measure everything when I’m trying to lose weight. Every little thing. I had two coffees, each with 250 ml of semi skimmed milk. I overcount that slightly to come out at 250 calories. It’s what I have pretty much every day. Same sized cup, same amount of coffee. I even weigh tomatoes in my salad and have special measuring cups / spoons and a scale. I know what I’m doing but I just can’t seem to do it for long enough right now before I fall off again. Then I stop completely and just eat whatever.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,413 Member
    edited February 2021
    Naomi852021 wrote: »
    I just feel like the more I eat, the more I want to eat. So if I had 1000 calories for breakfast - I would just be wanting to eat all day long. Whereas the longer I put off eating, the less I eat in the day. What’s that about ?


    Yeah, a lot of us have that issue and there are a couple solutions.

    I used to just delay eating in the morning for several hours. That's one way and is (IMO) why Intermittent Fasting works for a lot of people. When I calorie-restrict in order to lose weight I still want large-ish meals so I just cut out one meal and eat my calories in one large meal mid-morning, one small snack mid-afternoon and then a good sized evening meal.

    The key for my success is (once again) food choices. Lots of protein, fat AND carbs in that first meal. Always protein, fat and carbs in that snack (not just "a little cheese") and then a good amount of protein AND a big plate of vegetables and a starch for the evening meal. What I eat is super important. An apple, cheese, and coffee would only work if I also added 200 calories of peanut butter on a slice of bread. :lol:

    There is always going to be some hunger...figure out how to space out your meals and get enough protein, fat, and fiber and it's easier.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,128 Member
    Naomi852021 wrote: »
    I just feel like the more I eat, the more I want to eat. So if I had 1000 calories for breakfast - I would just be wanting to eat all day long. Whereas the longer I put off eating, the less I eat in the day. What’s that about ?

    So why not go somewhere inbetween, have something more substantial that comes to around 500-700 calories.

    I often start my day eating a bowl of weetabix with banana and a few dark chocolate chips with whole milk or overnight oats made with yoghurt and dark cherries/blueberries around 11:30ish, the only thing I normally have before that is a can of diet coke. That keeps me going till about 2pm when I have my lunch at work, then I have dinner around 8pm.

    You need to find a meal frequency/schedule and macro ratio that works for you, long term.

    You still haven't answered regarding your stats - the reason I asked is to see what your TDEE would be and if it is indeed a reasonable goal or still to low. If you're only slightly overweight or already in a healthy BMI range a lower rate of loss is better.
  • Naomi852021
    Naomi852021 Posts: 18 Member
    I’m so embarrassed of my stats. I just gained 5KG in a few months. At the moment I’m 170cm and weigh 81 kg. I had a baby last year and have lost some of it but keep gaining back. I was 93 KG after I had the baby and could not breastfed and dropped to 76 by eating next to nothing for a few months. I am usually around 70, but before I got pregnant I was 72. My dream weight is 65, which I reached for my wedding 3 years ago.
  • Speakeasy76
    Speakeasy76 Posts: 961 Member
    I guess I would ask you: What do you think you CAN keep up long term? It sounds like you know exactly what to do and start off strong, but I'm wondering what you feel you can keep up with to be successful?

    I think adding in some calories to your day may help you feel like you have more "wiggle room" in your day. I used to feel like you do: I'd start to stress out when I saw the remainder of my calories for the day, and I still have a tiny bit of anxiety about it. However, this last time for me to lose those last few pounds I knew in order to be successful I'd have to cut out the least amount possible, while continuing to pretty active so I could eat back some (if not all) of those exercise calories.

    I'd also maybe look into more satiating foods for you and maybe ways to distract yourself when it's not meal time. I know I would often think about food and my next meal (and do a bit) when I was trying to lose weight, which isn't helpful. For me personally, a combination of protein (at least 25 grams), fiber (more so from things like whole grains/oats) and a small amount of healthy fat is more satiating for me. I also make sure I'm drinking plenty of water, too. Overnight protein oats (or proats) are usually pretty filling for me.

    I know you like your coffee with a lot of milk, but I"m wondering if you could gradually decrease the amount of milk you put in your coffee so you'd have more room to eat more filling foods. Just a thought.


  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 10,091 Member
    Speakeasy76 wrote: »
    I guess I would ask you: What do you think you CAN keep up long term? It sounds like you know exactly what to do and start off strong, but I'm wondering what you feel you can keep up with to be successful?

    I think adding in some calories to your day may help you feel like you have more "wiggle room" in your day. I used to feel like you do: I'd start to stress out when I saw the remainder of my calories for the day, and I still have a tiny bit of anxiety about it. However, this last time for me to lose those last few pounds I knew in order to be successful I'd have to cut out the least amount possible, while continuing to pretty active so I could eat back some (if not all) of those exercise calories.

    I'd also maybe look into more satiating foods for you and maybe ways to distract yourself when it's not meal time. I know I would often think about food and my next meal (and do a bit) when I was trying to lose weight, which isn't helpful. For me personally, a combination of protein (at least 25 grams), fiber (more so from things like whole grains/oats) and a small amount of healthy fat is more satiating for me. I also make sure I'm drinking plenty of water, too. Overnight protein oats (or proats) are usually pretty filling for me.

    I know you like your coffee with a lot of milk, but I"m wondering if you could gradually decrease the amount of milk you put in your coffee so you'd have more room to eat more filling foods. Just a thought.


    Also, caffeine is an appetite suppressant, so if OP were to cut back on the milk, there might be room in the cup for enough coffee and caffeine to suppress hunger a little, making up for the lack of liquid calories from the milk.
  • Naomi852021
    Naomi852021 Posts: 18 Member
    Hey guys thank you! These are great suggestions. When I’m in hard core diet mode, I have Americanos with a small amount of milk- this drastically reduces the calories but still has a lot of liquid.

    You’re absolutely right, I know what to do but I think my problem is very simple from reading all this, I get it. I want it too fast. I aim too low and I fall off because it’s just too hard. Since I’ve had my baby I’m ashamed to say I aimed for 800 ( which I was able to maintain for a while ). But I can’t live like that. So I’m going to try to keep an eye on my daily calorie expenditure and maybe take off 500 calories from that. No more. So around 1500 depending on how active I am that day. I think it’s more realistic and means I don’t need to constantly starve myself.
  • 7rainbow
    7rainbow Posts: 161 Member
    Omg I'm with ya, I used to be the best at MFP, ate on track for months. Now, I've gained a ton of weight and have never hated myself more. I'm struggling to limit my eating and all I do is binge. I'm no one to give advice but I guess like some others said, start small instead of trying to restrict a bunch at once.
  • Naomi852021
    Naomi852021 Posts: 18 Member
    I’m also struggling without the gym. I really loved going to the gym environment. I hate exercising outside of the gym. I know weight loss is mostly about nutrition, but when I’m going to the gym too- I eat better as I just feel stronger in myself and not like a fat slob. I just find exercising at home really weird. Like getting that sweaty in my own home just feels wrong. Any suggestions ? Because loosing a bunch of weight without much exercise just isn’t great. I know I need to stay strong as I have health problems which require me to keep fit for my long term health ( I mean this is true for everyone but even more so for me ). Maybe I could start off with some yoga ? Better than nothing. I got myself a treadmill which I’m not even using as much as I should, as by the time my daughter goes to bed I’m just exhausted.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,128 Member
    Naomi852021 wrote: »
    I’m also struggling without the gym. I really loved going to the gym environment. I hate exercising outside of the gym. I know weight loss is mostly about nutrition, but when I’m going to the gym too- I eat better as I just feel stronger in myself and not like a fat slob. I just find exercising at home really weird. Like getting that sweaty in my own home just feels wrong. Any suggestions ? Because loosing a bunch of weight without much exercise just isn’t great. I know I need to stay strong as I have health problems which require me to keep fit for my long term health ( I mean this is true for everyone but even more so for me ). Maybe I could start off with some yoga ? Better than nothing. I got myself a treadmill which I’m not even using as much as I should, as by the time my daughter goes to bed I’m just exhausted.

    Getting sweaty outside instead - walk/run/hike/open water swimming/outdoor sports I've even seen folks working out with their weights in one of our local parks.

    Dumbbell/Calisthenics routines or Yoga/Pilates on Youtube.
  • qhob_89
    qhob_89 Posts: 105 Member
    I’m a habitual starter/fall off the wagon individual- this go round has been the longest I’ve stayed on MFP. This go round I’ve actually been successful, it’s also been the easiest go round. Coincidence? No. As someone who has done what you’re doing multiple times, my first tip is make it easier for yourself! I always shot out of the gates hot, restricted to 1200, sometimes I’d add in exercise, wouldn’t eat calories back. Within 3 weeks I’d be burnt out and right back on the binge wagon beating myself up. I started using the forums and reading a ton, learned so much stuff I wish I would have been reading and understanding the first 10 times I tried to do this! Don’t restrict yourself to a painful point- it won’t end well. I’ve learned patience in the process, there are no hard numbers for me anymore- No hard calorie limit (other than maintenance), no hard goal date, no hard goal weight. I have a “goal weight” and a rough guideline of dates for mini goals along the way, but I’m not married to it! If I never hit that weight, I’ll be okay with that as long as I feel better about myself than I did when I got started. I’ll have better habits, healthier weight, and something I can maintain long term. That’s a win as I’ve never been successful in making that lifestyle change. I’d rather it take 20-52 weeks to lose my 30(ish) lbs than try to loose it in 15 and throw in the towel within the first 3. I now eat in a range everyday to avoid being upset with myself if I miss that hard number, feeling defeated, and quitting. I’ve avoided bingeing as I haven’t restricted myself too tightly. I eat between 1200 (extreme loss) and 1800 (Maint). More often than not I am eating over 1200, but that doesn’t bother me anymore.

    From what I calculated your maintenance is right around 2000. It will do you no good to eat half of that! I think it will also be helpful to figure out when you like to eat. Some people like a big meal for breakfast as it fills them up and they can avoid snacking or hunger for a good portion of their day, I’ve never been a breakfast person- coffee for me. Some people don’t do lunch, others have that as their big meal. Some have large dinner, some have small. Some eat volume, some graze. It’s helpful to figure out when your body is wanting to be fed- this will avoid the restrict/binge merry-go-round!
    As far as your exercise, start small! (I’m no fitness guru, so there’s some others on here who could be really helpful on this front!!) It was always another source of burnout for me. If you want it to be successful- feed yourself properly so it doesn’t feel like moving mountains! Yoga, walking on the treadmill are good starting points. If the weather is suitable, put your baby in a stroller and walk- you’ll be surprised how much of a burn this is, it kept me in shape through pregnancies and helped shed postpartum weight.

    That was a novel on my 2 cents, but I wish you luck!!!

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