Your guilt-free option.

jbpretty
jbpretty Posts: 221 Member
in Motivation and Support
I’m looking for motivation because I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. Being an all-or-nothing kid of person has not severed me well so I’m looking for your thoughts.

What’s one thing you allow yourself? Wine, chocolate, special coffee, pizza night once a week, a lazy day? Something you let yourself have, absolutely guilt-free. With all of the changes you’ve made, what is one thing you enjoy without thinking you’ve let yourself down?

I can make the change, I just know I need that allowance.

Thanks.
Jamie

Replies

  • L1zardQueen
    L1zardQueen Posts: 8,754 Member
    Food is fuel. I eat whatever I want. As long as I stay within my calorie allotment, I’m good.

    Friday night is pizza night. We get the pizza supreme with lots vegetables on top. Two slices for me and a side salad. Super good. No guilt ever.
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
    I "save" calories on weekdays so I can "spend" them on Friday or Saturday night on my absolute favorite IPA at the local microbrewery. No guilt because I planned and "budgeted" for it :-)
  • goal06082021
    goal06082021 Posts: 2,130 Member
    There are no "bad" foods. Or "good" foods, for that matter. You are not "bad" for eating or not eating any particular thing. There are only choices that serve your long-term goals, and choices that serve your short-term goals, and which set of goals is more important to you at any given time is 100% up to you.

    If you think about the weight-loss process as a temporary change, as a sabbatical from eating the foods you like until you reach goal weight, you are not going to be successful long-term. You can't cloister yourself away like a monk until your body has the dimensions you want, then resume your normal life. Your normal life got you to where you are now. Wine, chocolate, and pizza will all still be there and will all still have calories when you reach goal weight. If you're trying to cut them out now in hopes of being able to enjoy them later, you're going to have a bad time. Far better to learn to coexist with the pizza now, reset your relationship with the pizza and actively choose to include and account for it in what you eat.

    (Obviously, alcohol is a different beast; if your relationship with alcohol is such that you truly can't "just" budget for a glass of cabernet on Friday night with dinner, then you should probably avoid it in general for overall health, and seek support from a trained professional to help you deal with that process.)
  • elmusho1989
    elmusho1989 Posts: 321 Member
    Coke zero and recently, cheat days.
  • LisaGetsMoving
    LisaGetsMoving Posts: 664 Member
    I need to find a way to eat most of the foods I love in order for this to work, so I'm figuring out how to do that within my target calorie range. I'm going to be doing this for a year, or longer if I use it for maintenance. Portion size matters a lot, and that is where I am training myself to be accurate and stick to a normal portion size. I can't feel guilty about eating, or bad about my size or the grey hair and crow's feet that are creeping in, 2020 was rough enough. I push through and exercise just a little longer these days knowing that if I keep it up, I can eat a scoop of ice cream after dinner and still lose slowly.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 31,974 Member
    Guilt is for moral failings, i.e., sins. Food isn't sin, it's just food.

    The food situation is more like balancing a budget: If I save up, I can have that acreage of carrot cake (or whatever). If I don't save up, but have the cake anyway, I'll be paying the bills for a while, one way or another (weight gain or calorie payback). Or, I can have a normal human cake serving, and fit it into my routine calorie budget by eating more lightly earlier in the day, or something like that. That's just realism, y'know?

    I feel like guilt over food is a slippery slope to a bad place. Also, guilt feels icky. Guilt burns no extra calories. Why would I want to do that?

    Food may be in some respects a problem to be solved (arithmetic balance problem!), maybe even a psychological conundrum in some cases**, but it's not a sin to be expiated. There can be decisions about it, and if I make them consciously and deliberately, I'm not letting myself down. I'm choosing. Choosing is good, empowering.

    ** I'd advise working out the psychological conundrums explicitly, so they don't spill over into food choices.

    Indulge-y things? I like lots of foods, including some uber-healthy, nutrient dense, calorie sparse ones. I try to eat as many enjoyable things as possible, all day every day. Once my nutritional minimums are met (and I do have explicit ones), if I have any discretionary calories left over, I can spend them on whatever I like. That may be some good chocolate, craft beer, or saving up for a major meal indulgence (lotsa pizza, blue corn enchiladas, carrot cake acreage, etc.). Even about that, I make different choices on different occasions. Why? Whimfulness. 😉
  • AndreaTamira
    AndreaTamira Posts: 272 Member
    I eat what I want. The difference to "before" is that I don't (usually) eat what I mindlessly feel like right now. I decide consciously to eat something, aware of how it will affect my calories for the day (and try to do an honest estimate of calories eaten if I eat out). If I really truly want something that will bring me above my calorie limit I do sone introspection on this decision. - If I eat it despite going over limit I don't feel guilty about it. I don't question myself further as soon as I reached my decision and I don't chastise myself for it, either.
  • thisvickyruns
    thisvickyruns Posts: 193 Member
    jbpretty wrote: »
    I’m looking for motivation because I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. Being an all-or-nothing kid of person has not severed me well so I’m looking for your thoughts.

    What’s one thing you allow yourself? Wine, chocolate, special coffee, pizza night once a week, a lazy day? Something you let yourself have, absolutely guilt-free. With all of the changes you’ve made, what is one thing you enjoy without thinking you’ve let yourself down?

    I can make the change, I just know I need that allowance.

    Thanks.
    Jamie

    all of those things, just not every day and not all at the same time.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,463 Member
    I eat ice cream nearly every day. Weighed on my food scale. Fits in my plan.

    Never thought of feeling guilty about it. It plays an important function in my plan. Mostly because of this- give into some other treat type thing during the day- no ice cream. When working the office environment was not plan friendly. There was always food around. Usually donuts, cookies, cake or candy. I had to have a strategy to keep away from that stuff. My nightly ice cream snack almost always won that fight.

    Perfect is the enemy of the good. My plan only needs to be good enough to work.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,287 Member
    I eat on plan all week.. don't drink alcohol during the week..and I go out to dinner with my hubby once a week. I have cocktails before...eat what I want for dinner... and sometimes even have dessert. and yes.. wine and all that with dinner.

    I lose weight doing this. For me, it makes it easy to stay on track all week, looking forward to where we are going this coming Saturday night. I actually consider it may secret to my success. Dieting with never cheating.. is a long hard road I don't want to go down..and don't need to go down.

    I lost all my weight was my thinnest ever three years ago.. regained a bit during covid.. and getting it off doing this again.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,876 Member
    Food is just food...food doesn't give me "guilt". Health and nutritionally speaking, you have to look at your diet in full context. I eat pretty well and meet my nutritional needs...I don't get extra credit for more broccoli, and having a cookie for desert doesn't somehow undo the rest of my daily nutrition.
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,811 Member
    I allow myself to eat and enjoy all my food without guilt - I've not stolen it from anyone!

    The only food related guilt I would feel would be if I persistently ate too much over a long period of time and let my health slip.

    Suggest you stand back a bit to get a wider view of what a healthy overall diet looks like to you rather than drill down to individual items and assign a moral value to them.
  • jbpretty
    jbpretty Posts: 221 Member
    goal06082021 wrote: »
    There are no "bad" foods. Or "good" foods, for that matter. You are not "bad" for eating or not eating any particular thing. There are only choices that serve your long-term goals, and choices that serve your short-term goals, and which set of goals is more important to you at any given time is 100% up to you.

    If you think about the weight-loss process as a temporary change, as a sabbatical from eating the foods you like until you reach goal weight, you are not going to be successful long-term. You can't cloister yourself away like a monk until your body has the dimensions you want, then resume your normal life. Your normal life got you to where you are now. Wine, chocolate, and pizza will all still be there and will all still have calories when you reach goal weight. If you're trying to cut them out now in hopes of being able to enjoy them later, you're going to have a bad time. Far better to learn to coexist with the pizza now, reset your relationship with the pizza and actively choose to include and account for it in what you eat.

    (Obviously, alcohol is a different beast; if your relationship with alcohol is such that you truly can't "just" budget for a glass of cabernet on Friday night with dinner, then you should probably avoid it in general for overall health, and seek support from a trained professional to help you deal with that process.)



    This would be exactly why I gained all the weight I lost in the past back. Thank you for putting it into words. It’s definitely given me a new perspective.
  • jbpretty
    jbpretty Posts: 221 Member
    88olds wrote: »
    I eat ice cream nearly every day. Weighed on my food scale. Fits in my plan.

    Never thought of feeling guilty about it. It plays an important function in my plan. Mostly because of this- give into some other treat type thing during the day- no ice cream. When working the office environment was not plan friendly. There was always food around. Usually donuts, cookies, cake or candy. I had to have a strategy to keep away from that stuff. My nightly ice cream snack almost always won that fight.

    Perfect is the enemy of the good. My plan only needs to be good enough to work.


    I love this. I may feel guilty because it’s just my nature... something I’m working on.

    I like the idea of being less tempted by things because I have a go to plan... something I can really look forward to. Thanks.

  • jbpretty
    jbpretty Posts: 221 Member
    sijomial wrote: »
    I allow myself to eat and enjoy all my food without guilt - I've not stolen it from anyone!

    The only food related guilt I would feel would be if I persistently ate too much over a long period of time and let my health slip.

    Suggest you stand back a bit to get a wider view of what a healthy overall diet looks like to you rather than drill down to individual items and assign a moral value to them.

    Well there in lies the problem. I do have a bigger problem with food. Actually, I’m not sure it has much to do with food as it has to do with why I binge. I’m working on it though. After reading this thread I can see that more clearly.

    The weight will return again. I need a plan and I need to deal with some things.

  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,489 Member
    I have NO GUILT in anything I eat or do. I will account for them.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png
  • OliveSalt
    OliveSalt Posts: 47 Member
    Friday nights are pizza and movie nights for our family, and the trade off of the calories is a joyful tradition of time spent together. Its guilt free for me because my four year old is going to grow up fast and I wouldnt trade it for the world. I think thats what helps keep things in perspective for me.
  • csplatt
    csplatt Posts: 1,002 Member
    edited February 2021
    You can have chocolate and wine. Just make room for it in your daily calories. I buy HaloTop ice cream, and I will buy bars of dark chocolate so I can take one square to work. If I had pizza once a week, though, that kind of calorie load would erase my deficit from the whole week. And I wouldn’t lose any weight.

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