the stupidest thing you ever heard?
OK, I have 2 that top my list.
I once had a boss that talked on and on to impress others with how smart he was. One day he was talking to his client and was trying to impress him with these new golf balls that he had ordered with his name on them. He then looked at one of the balls and started complaining that the company hadn't centered the name on the ball correctly.
Another time I was helping keep books at a Christmas tree farm. The truck was late and the lobby was full of vendors waiting on a type of tree that we had run out of. The truck driver called in for directions. I asked him what his load was so the people staring at me knew whether to wait for the truck to come in or leave. He said trees. I asked what kind of trees, and he replied that he thinks they are Christmas trees. I told him to come on on by going east on FM1960. He told me "Don't give me none of that east or west crap! Do I go left or do I go right?! Of course my reply was " Well, that all depends, sir, are you facing north, or are you facing south?"
What is the stupidest thing you have ever heard?
I once had a boss that talked on and on to impress others with how smart he was. One day he was talking to his client and was trying to impress him with these new golf balls that he had ordered with his name on them. He then looked at one of the balls and started complaining that the company hadn't centered the name on the ball correctly.
Another time I was helping keep books at a Christmas tree farm. The truck was late and the lobby was full of vendors waiting on a type of tree that we had run out of. The truck driver called in for directions. I asked him what his load was so the people staring at me knew whether to wait for the truck to come in or leave. He said trees. I asked what kind of trees, and he replied that he thinks they are Christmas trees. I told him to come on on by going east on FM1960. He told me "Don't give me none of that east or west crap! Do I go left or do I go right?! Of course my reply was " Well, that all depends, sir, are you facing north, or are you facing south?"
What is the stupidest thing you have ever heard?
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Replies
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my own voice :S Not sure whether that should worry me or not. xD0
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That there is no such thing as "Stavation Mode" and that fat people made it up to be able to "eat more!" lol0
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One I see a lot at my job is this : Man or woman walks up the pharmacy counter I greet them. 'How may help you" They reply that they would like to refill a prescription.
"Alright" Get their information and look up their profile which is quite long. On multiple medications. "Which medication did you need me to fill?"
They promptly frown at me "I don't know its the little white round one. I don't know what it is. "
I bite my tongue and just smile before trying something different "Do you know what the medication is for?"
"No. I only know its white and round. I take it everyday"
...wtf people. Know what you are taking or bring me your bottle ! There are hundreds of small white round tablets in that pharmacy. And we could have gotten in a new manufacturer and its no longer small and white! Just kills me these people taking medications that are saving their life and they have no idea what it is or what it is doing for them.0 -
I was in an airport once waiting to go on holiday and overheard a discussion in a WHSmiths that consisted of one girl asking what the difference was between fiction, and non-fiction books... what made it even better was that her friend responded with "Well, fiction is real life, but non-fiction is false, that's the made up books". I should add that they were in their late 20's at best..... *headdesk*0
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I was in an airport once waiting to go on holiday and overheard a discussion in a WHSmiths that consisted of one girl asking what the difference was between fiction, and non-fiction books... what made it even better was that her friend responded with "Well, fiction is real life, but non-fiction is false, that's the made up books". I should add that they were in their late 20's at best..... *headdesk*
Priceless!0 -
When we moved from the west to the east coast, my wife said she was going to miss getting to see the sunset0
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I work at an optometry office, and our one doctor is the most arrogant, self centered, needy man on the face of the planet. He tried to convince a co-worker of mine who is about to propose to his girlfriend that cubic zirconia looks the same as diamonds and she will never know the difference. AND if he's STUPID enough to get her a REAL diamond, if she ever needs to sent it out for anything, he needs to have it inspected before and after he gets it back because they will swap the diamonds out. I'm like, really?
I also deal with a lot of vision insurance. This doesn't happen often, but I love it when it does. I get this phone call:
"Hi, do you accept my insurance?"
"More than likely, who do you have?"
"Aetna."
"Sir/Ma'am that's your health insurance."
OR my personal favorite
"Hi, do you accept my insurance?"
"More than likely, who is your carrier?"
"I don't know."
"..."
"So can you tell me what my coverage is?"
"Do you have an insurance card or ID number at all?"
"No. I can give you my name though."
"Well, we would need a little more information than that unfortunately. We may be able to look it up by your social."
"Oh I don't give that out over the phone. I have Aetna for health insurance."
No, no that's not your vision insurance. And no, I'm not calling all 84 carriers and going through EACH automated recording to try to find your plan. Throw me a bone and I can find it. I love it.0 -
that you should put hairspray on your face to help make-up stay on..
err hello!?
xx
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No, no that's not your vision insurance. And no, I'm not calling all 84 carriers and going through EACH automated recording to try to find your plan. Throw me a bone and I can find it. I love it.
OMG yes! So nice they don't just do that to the pharmacy. So frustrating. Want to be like people you are paying for this mess!! Why don't you know what's going on!0 -
My sister and I had been watching a tv adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. When we went to the bookstore later that day, she picked up a copy of Pride and Prejudice and when reading the end said 'Jane Austen changed the ending'.0
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"if it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college"0
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Well I was in a store the other day clothes shopping, and a rather large lady said.....I am going to by super super skinny jeans, then reach for a pair in size 20.......she turned to her friend and said....I can't believe I can fit into super super skinny jeans....i've put weight on!!
HELLO THEY ARE IN SIZE 20.....buying them in this size doesn't mean you are super super skinny its just the name!!0 -
I hope your wifeisn't a member.:) but that's pretty funny!When we moved from the west to the east coast, my wife said she was going to miss getting to see the sunset0 -
Did you explain that now she would get to see the sun rise? lol Too cute.When we moved from the west to the east coast, my wife said she was going to miss getting to see the sunset0 -
-Overheard at a grocery store, "...it's like the Cadillac of cars..."-no, that would be the cadillac
-At work-Guy-"Haha 'potable water' they forgot the 'r' in 'portable'!"
Me -"No they didn't, the word is potable."
Guy-"what does that mean?"
Me-"You're a waste of time."
-At work-Same guy- "I wonder what the 'B' stands for in like the B-2 bomber."
Me-"It actually just stands for bomber, it's the type of aircraft it is."
Guy-"Really? It stands for bomber? Are you sure, that seems odd?"
Me-"Well you're the one in the Air Force-so obviously you would know...or should know."
When I used to work at Borders:
"Hi I'm looking for a book, I don't know the title, or what it's about, but it was (insert color here) and it was on a table over there."
When I used to work at Seattle's Best:
"I'll have a Caramel macchiato."
"I'm sorry,but that is Starbuck's, we're a different store and don't sell those."
"Can you just make it for me anyway?"
"No, but you can try something off of our menu."
"Oh, do you know where a Starbuck's is?"
"There are two across the street."
"Oh, I guess I'll just have a mocha then."0 -
I work at an optometry office, and our one doctor is the most arrogant, self centered, needy man on the face of the planet. He tried to convince a co-worker of mine who is about to propose to his girlfriend that cubic zirconia looks the same as diamonds and she will never know the difference. AND if he's STUPID enough to get her a REAL diamond, if she ever needs to sent it out for anything, he needs to have it inspected before and after he gets it back because they will swap the diamonds out. I'm like, really?
I also deal with a lot of vision insurance. This doesn't happen often, but I love it when it does. I get this phone call:
"Hi, do you accept my insurance?"
"More than likely, who do you have?"
"Aetna."
"Sir/Ma'am that's your health insurance."
OR my personal favorite
"Hi, do you accept my insurance?"
"More than likely, who is your carrier?"
"I don't know."
"..."
"So can you tell me what my coverage is?"
"Do you have an insurance card or ID number at all?"
"No. I can give you my name though."
"Well, we would need a little more information than that unfortunately. We may be able to look it up by your social."
"Oh I don't give that out over the phone. I have Aetna for health insurance."
No, no that's not your vision insurance. And no, I'm not calling all 84 carriers and going through EACH automated recording to try to find your plan. Throw me a bone and I can find it. I love it.
Actually, some Aetna plans (like mine) cover vision as well.0 -
tapioca enema's0
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Doing a US Civil War Living History weekend, dressed in my Northern Union Blue Civil War uniform. A little kid comes running up and says "Hey mom, look at the Confederate!" The mom corrected him, by saying, "That's not a Confederate, honey, that's a REBEL."
Excuse me while I turn this cannon around...:laugh:0 -
I'm not a big Leno fan but his "JayWalking" segments make me die laughing and scare me silly at the same time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JEjXbLQOOE 0 -
Ohhh boy my list could go on and on. I worked in a call center for annuities at a large financial institution. Off the top of my head, the call that sticks out to me the most was:
I got in huge trouble once for getting super frustrated at a lady who couldn't understand that $3,000 + $500 = $3,500. She wanted us to stop withholding her $500 in taxes, and wanted to know how much she would now get. So I told her that since she was now getting $3,000, if we stopped taking out the $500 she would now get $3,500. I was holding back a lot, but apparently she didn't like the fact that I was getting frustrated, so called back and b*tched to my manager.0 -
I work at an optometry office, and our one doctor is the most arrogant, self centered, needy man on the face of the planet. He tried to convince a co-worker of mine who is about to propose to his girlfriend that cubic zirconia looks the same as diamonds and she will never know the difference. AND if he's STUPID enough to get her a REAL diamond, if she ever needs to sent it out for anything, he needs to have it inspected before and after he gets it back because they will swap the diamonds out. I'm like, really?
I also deal with a lot of vision insurance. This doesn't happen often, but I love it when it does. I get this phone call:
"Hi, do you accept my insurance?"
"More than likely, who do you have?"
"Aetna."
"Sir/Ma'am that's your health insurance."
OR my personal favorite
"Hi, do you accept my insurance?"
"More than likely, who is your carrier?"
"I don't know."
"..."
"So can you tell me what my coverage is?"
"Do you have an insurance card or ID number at all?"
"No. I can give you my name though."
"Well, we would need a little more information than that unfortunately. We may be able to look it up by your social."
"Oh I don't give that out over the phone. I have Aetna for health insurance."
No, no that's not your vision insurance. And no, I'm not calling all 84 carriers and going through EACH automated recording to try to find your plan. Throw me a bone and I can find it. I love it.
Actually, some Aetna plans (like mine) cover vision as well.
Not in our area. And even so, the easy answer for me is no, because we don't accept Aetna 0 -
I worked as a pharmacy tech in a large hospital over a year ago. One of my duties was to refill the Pyxis machines. Those are the machines that the nurses go to, input your information, and then are able to get certain meds out, especially narcotics. While I was doing something else at a med station a nurse walked up and was showing a student doing her clinicals how to work the machine using her finger print over the little scanner. The student asked the nurse did it matter if she used a different finger after having her index finger recorded.
The nurse replied, "No, it shouldn't. I mean, aren't your finger prints all the same on every finger?"
I had to walk away! And make a mental note to myself to NEVER have to be on that floor for care, EVER!
I mean HELLO! Don't you have to take A&P in order to become a nurse? Isn't that sort of taught in science when we're kids that our finger prints are completely unique and that no one is alike.0 -
I went into a super market and was looking for cous cous. I couldn't find it so I approached a young girl who was working therer.
Me, "Excuse me, could you tell me where the cous cous is?
Girl, "Em...... We don't sell that here. We sell food here"
Me, " Cous Cous is food"
Girl, "Is it not a breed of dog?"
Really?0 -
i overheard a girl today, saying to her friend that she couldnt walk down the stairs very quickly because her calf hurt from the gym, i walked past as she said 'is that my calf?' sadly i didnt turn round to see which part of her leg she was talking about....0
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Just now:
I'm a rental car agent and a guy comes in.
Guy: do you have to have a driver license?
Me: yes.
Guy: are you sure?
Me: yes.
Guy: positively sure? How do you know?
Me: under the state of CA you need a dl to operate a Motor vehicle.
Guy: oh but are you sure?
Like wth?!? You need a dl end of discussion!!0 -
"We're going to try to work it out. (By moving out of the state.) We did so much better when it was just us and no one else."
After 12 years of the most dysfunctional relationship and marriage the world has ever known - please - let me know how that works out for you.0
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