I'm right, she's wrong!! So why I am green with envy??!!
Iwillshyne
Posts: 245
Forgive me in advance, I'm just venting!
Ok, so my BBF of 13 years and I both decided to lose weight. All summer long we worked out and shared tips and recipes to help each other out. We were steadily loosing weight by simply changing our diets and excercising. Then 3 weeks ago she came up with this idea on how we coud double our weight lost. NO CARBS AND DIET PILLS. I of course rejected the idea and when she insisted I told her to go on without me. I stuck to healthy eating and working out and has lost 13 lbs so far. She on the other hand has lost 30 lbs....UGH!! This makes me green with envy and mad too. Here I am sweating it out the old fashion way while she doesn't workout, doesn't eat well and worst of all take possibly heart-attack bound pills and it seems that she's more successful! And the part that makes me angry is whenever I try to talk to her about the pills she tells me I'm just jealous and bitter and tries to rub her weight lost in my face.
{Ok, I will admit I am a little jealous that she only has 40 lbs to loose to reach her goal. While I have 75 lbs to go. :sad:
Who wouldn't be??....}
But the real reason is I'm worried that either she's gonna get sick from taking the pills. Get sick from not eating carbs and only eating fatty meats. Or worst she never learns how to properly lose weight and she'll gain it all back... either way it's not good!
But again I'm just venting....
Ok, so my BBF of 13 years and I both decided to lose weight. All summer long we worked out and shared tips and recipes to help each other out. We were steadily loosing weight by simply changing our diets and excercising. Then 3 weeks ago she came up with this idea on how we coud double our weight lost. NO CARBS AND DIET PILLS. I of course rejected the idea and when she insisted I told her to go on without me. I stuck to healthy eating and working out and has lost 13 lbs so far. She on the other hand has lost 30 lbs....UGH!! This makes me green with envy and mad too. Here I am sweating it out the old fashion way while she doesn't workout, doesn't eat well and worst of all take possibly heart-attack bound pills and it seems that she's more successful! And the part that makes me angry is whenever I try to talk to her about the pills she tells me I'm just jealous and bitter and tries to rub her weight lost in my face.
{Ok, I will admit I am a little jealous that she only has 40 lbs to loose to reach her goal. While I have 75 lbs to go. :sad:
Who wouldn't be??....}
But the real reason is I'm worried that either she's gonna get sick from taking the pills. Get sick from not eating carbs and only eating fatty meats. Or worst she never learns how to properly lose weight and she'll gain it all back... either way it's not good!
But again I'm just venting....
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Replies
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Hope you can be there for her when she begins eating carbs again and comes off the diet pills only to find the weight she's lost. I was prescribed pills at the beginning of my weight loss. I did them for maybe 3 months. I have kept the weight off (over 3 yrs now), but that's because I never stopped exercising and I ate in a way that was and still is sustainable. Maybe you can guide your friend into the light.0
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Oh girl that would tick me off too. You won't be saying the same thing a few months down the road when she's gained all her weight back and you're sustaining your healthy new physique :-) Keep your head up!0
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So she'll lose a bunch right now and look great for a minute. Your doing it the right way though and here is why its important. When she starts eating carbs again and stops the pills, she's gonna gain it back plus extra.
You however are going to have to tools to maintain and keep the weight off. So sometime down the road when your at your goal, and she's packed them back on, she's going to be the envious one. :flowerforyou:0 -
they say pills aren't a healthy way..they may be right, but sometimes i take them for a day or 2 here or there to boost myself over stuck weeks..best of luck, keep up the old fashion way..you will be better off in the end:flowerforyou:0
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She may gain it all back, she may not. She may get sick, she may not. She may stop losing altogether at some point, she may not.
Who knows?
You can't compare yourself to other people. Everyone loses at different rates and adults can make their own decisions. I say re-frame your focus around yourself. Your own weight loss and overall health are what matter. Congrats on your loss, so far!0 -
Don't be jealous! What your friend is doing is a DIET! We have all been on a "DIET" and we have all lost weight, but in the end we have all gained it back! No carbs = tons of weight loss HOWEVER, once your friend starts eating carbs again and stops taking those diet pills, she will gain it back. You on the other hand are doing this as a lifestyle change (I am assuming), yes it will take longer to take the weight off, but once it's off it will be a lot harder to put it back on!0
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Just remember, you're going about it the healthy way, and if she gains back, she'll be the jealous one! :laugh:
But seriously, you're doing a great job and should be proud of what you've done thus far, simply through hard work and dedication. You don't need "help" because you're a strong woman who wants to do things right. Be proud of your accomplishments.0 -
I agree with trying to guide her to the light. You know a safe and healthy way to do this that she can do forever.
So try to teach her.
It's been said on here before, slow and steady.0 -
Your (our) way is more guaranteed of long term success. When she comes off the pills, on will go the weight again, and your steadier, more patient pace will ultimately end with a real result, i.e. lasting weight loss. If she wants to fad/yo-yo her whole life, that's her choice. There's no substitute for good ol' diet and exercise.0
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only ormal for you to feel that way hun, ive a friend very similiar to your pal, she never eats properly, lives off coffee and cuppa soups, drops weight real quick but puts in on just as quick! she only has like a stone & half odd to lose, me ive got a least 7 so I do get frustrated. Like you no matter what you say you get beat down even though you are only looking out for her. Think only time will tell!0
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I would call it integrity; living by a code of what you believe is right and wrong. Having said that you can sleep well at night knowing what you're doing is right. She on the other had may have lost more weight but the truth is the slower you lose it the longer it stays off...time will tell this for your dear friend. Now, please when this happens do not gloat and tell her I told you so!!!
Don't give up and don't let it get you down just let that envy motivate you to work harder!!!
:laugh:0 -
slow and steady wins the race0
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Unfortunately, as soon as she stops, she'll most likely put the weight back on. You are doing the right thing by sticking to healthy weight loss methods by eating well and exercising. Maybe you could research the diet pills and get some facts so you can persuade your friend that what she's doing is unhealthy and won't do her body any good in the long term, particularly with her unhealthy diet.
Losing weight at a slower pace means you're more likely to keep it off so it's not something you should rush through otherwise you'll just end up bouncing from one end of the scales to the other which can't good for your body. I know it can't be easy seeing your friend making no effort at all and losing more weight than you but at least you know for yourself that you're being kind to your body and when you eventually get to your goal weight you will have earned it!!0 -
Like you said you are doing this the old fashion way. That is the only way it will stay off. She may lose fast but will gain it back quick too. Also she isn't working out.... I have lost more inches working out then eating healthy. Let her enjoy her moment but you will win the race..
Good Job sticking to your beliefs!!!0 -
It sounds like your friend is very lucky to have you in her life!
We need friends to be honest with us when we are headig down a harmful path. You shared with her your concern about the unhealthy way she is losing weight. That is all you can do. I would not keep bringing it up, until she is ready to listen.
The best thing you can do is continue the healthy and sustainable way you are losing weight and be a good role model for her. Then you can be there to support her when she gains her weight back (and possibly more) and has a screwed up metabolism which will make it even more difficult for her to lose weight.
It is painful to see someone you care about not act in their own best interest, but you can't lose the weight for them, and you need to respect their decisions and just keep letting them know that you care for them and will be there for them no matter what.
Good luck and continued success on your journey!0 -
You are right to be very concerned about your friend's health! I would be, too! And I can certainly understand why you would feel envy.... but think about this... what is easily obtained is also easily lost... it's a universal law... it's not to make you feel better or wish your friend bad things... it is as certain as the sunrise....it's the predictable outcome....and a personal experience.... so hang in there and don't be too harsh on her when she begins to see her weight increase.... be there and teach her by example why it is better to do it the right way....which is.... your way.:happy:0
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Wow, I could have seriously written this post myself. I'm REALLY sorry for what you are going through right now, and believe me when I say I know how you feel. The only difference is that my friend and I started together on WW, then she turned to pills and lost as much in a few months as I did in a year. But...she gained almost all of it back while I was maintaining my weight and my exercise regimine.
We are starting over again, and she is watching what she eats, exercising AND doing the pills. I am sure she is going to drop weight quickly...but I am also sure she won't keep up with her diet and exercise and I will wave to her once again on her way up. I'd be lying if I said I didn't take a little bit of comfort in that thought.
I am doing the WORK. YOU are doing the WORK. It works when you do the work, so keep on workin', girl! I am here to support you whenever you need me to.0 -
WOW, that is a hard pill to swallow (excuse the pun)!! I think it's perfectly natural to be jealous and it's quite ok to admit that you are somewhat jealous, but be specific of what your jealous about. Example . . . . your not jealous that she is stressing her heart and weakening the muscles from diet pills and malnutrition. You aren't jealous that once she stops taking the pills she is almost guaranteed to gain double the weight. You aren't jealous that she is ruining her health when she had previously committed herself to increasing it.
You have a duty to your BFF to be BRUTALLY HONEST with her about what she is doing to body and that it makes you angry because you love her and don't want her to become sick or die. Tell her that you won't support her in these destructive efforts, but you will support her when she decides to be healthy.
It's hard when we see those around us making the gains we want for ourselves, even when we know they means they are using are wrong. It's human nature to feel jealous, don't feel embarrassed about it. Life is a mixed bag of emotions. I commend you for not giving into the "easy" path and staying the course of health and fitness. In the long run, you will be an example to your BFF and others that embark on the journey.0 -
Hang in there girl! You are taking the healthy approach and even if she sheds the weight faster....
(((Quick Fixes Never Last!!!)))
I have friends that have done the HCG diet and one still is...
Yes she is losing weight faster but she is missing out on life right now and it is taking a toll on her personallity....
She is always cranky and miserable, I am not..
I had a skinny cow ice cream treat the other day as a reward for my dedication this week... ((Boy was it awesome!!!)
I still lost weight this week and I feel confident that it is me doing this not some stupid gimmick!!
I am building pride and a healthy body...
So, Hang in there and stick to your healthy approach...:happy:0 -
You won't be saying the same thing a few months down the road when she's gained all her weight back and you're sustaining your healthy new physique :-) Keep your head up!
^This^
If you're using pills and eating unhealthy or even if you are dieting to lose weight
and you reach your goal and start eating "normal".... you will gain it back, and usually gain more than you had before.
I know this from experience.
You dear lady are doing the right thing. And as long as you're still losing weight be proud of yourself.
Don't feel bad about it. I would be more worried about her health & talk to her about your concerns
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About 8 years ago I went on the Atkins diet, and I lost a lot of weight real fast, in 7 months time I had lost 78 pounds, I hardly exercised, and to tell the truth I thought I was looking sick, the flesh was just hanging there not getting toned or anything...I stopped the diet after being tired of not being about to have some of my fav foods, and it was getting harder to find things to eat to change it up a bit, anyway I ended up gaining all of the weight back PLUS 30 pounds! and I gained it all back in less time then it took to lose in the first place...this time I am doing it right, I am eating healthy, watching calories and portions, and I am Exercising!!!! I have lost 54 pounds since Jan of this year, and I am gaining tools to help me keep the weight off as I go, and the bod is getting toned
...You just keep doing what you are doing, You are doing everything right!!!
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She may gain it all back, she may not. She may get sick, she may not. She may stop losing altogether at some point, she may not.
Who knows?
You can't compare yourself to other people. Everyone loses at different rates and adults can make their own decisions. I say re-frame your focus around yourself. Your own weight loss and overall health are what matter. Congrats on your loss, so far!
oh how I wish there was a "like" button!0 -
That's hard and I would probably feel the same way as you if I were in your shoes but you have done your part trying to help her and she doesn't want to be helped because she doesn't believe it's a problem. Move on and be proud of your accomplishments and let things work out on their own. Hopefully if she does get into trouble from the pills it won't be life-threatening and you can share your success tips with her when she's ready to listen and try to do it the healthy way.0
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I know exactly how you feel. I have a friend that takes pills to help boost her weight loss too. At times I get jealous because I feel like I'm working harder but I know in the end when we are the same size (same goal weight/height) I will feel more accomplished because I *did* do it all by myself. And who knows if she'll gain it back or not. I know I won't though. I tried to get her on MFP, she said she'd join but hasn't yet & that was back in July.0
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There are no shortcuts.
For every pound she has lost, she will gain back 1-1/4.
On the other hand, your loss will be more sustainable.0 -
You didn't gain weight by taking a pill, so you're not going to lose it and sustain it by taking one. I'd just drop the subject. Leave her alone. I know you care and are worried, but you're not going to change her mind. And if she brings it up again, just shrug and say, "We'll see."
What your doing and how you are doing it is the only right way. Adapting to a life style change is the only way to lose it and keep it off - just as everyone else has said.
And yes, she will gain it back because one cannot take those pills forever.0 -
Jealousy is a normal human emotion. I totally understand how you feel I have watched people "diet" and use diet pills and even go to the extent of chewing food and spitting it out. It's very sad and even more frustrating to watch them lose quicker than you. But in the grand scheme of things eating healthy and working out reflects not only on the scale but also on your overall appearance...prettier skin, healthier teeth, hair and even nails. So while those that take a short cut may show a lower number on the scale, losing weight the healthy way results in looking healthy and being healthy and losing weight in a manner which you can maintain for life, which is great! So keep up the good "healthy" work!0
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DON'T be jealous. She may be losing it now, but her DIET is not a sustainable lifestyle. It sounds like you are doing something you can keep on doing for the rest of your life. Remember, you didn't put it on that quickly, so you shouldn't take it off that quickly. It's unhealthy to lose so quickly. Keep up with what you are doing. And oh, GOOD JOB GIRL!!!!!0
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I agree with the post that comparing yourself to other people is a road to nowhere.
You can only live your own life, and do the best you can with the knowledge and tools you have. It is hard to accept when someone has what you don't, and when someone you care about it doing something you don't agree with. However, your friend is an adult and accepting them and what they are doing without condoning will give you peace. Hard I know.
Now, you should be celebrating and enjoying the success you have had up until now, it is awesome, keep up the good work.
GG0
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