I need help. How do you get over a failure?

lauraallover
lauraallover Posts: 28 Member
edited October 2 in Health and Weight Loss
I was doing really well with my weight loss. I had lost 20 lbs within just a couple of months, and counting! Then I stopped going to the gym, started having BK, Fried Chicken, and all that garbage on the weekends (I was able to only do it once a week and limit myself.) And I just gave up all together with the mentality that I'll "do it next week. I promise."

It's been over a month later, and I'm still idle. I just KNOW I have gained all that weight back - maybe even more - and I feel completely unmotivated. My husband wakes up for his military PT and leaves at 6:10, so I'm thinking of just going to the gym at the same time. .. I used to go in the afternoon around 12-2.

I'm really upset, and I feel like I've let myself and others down. Drinking soda (when I hadn't touched one in month) and not limiting myself. How do you guys get over a failure.

Replies

  • Charlie175
    Charlie175 Posts: 232 Member
    You've just got to get back up and move on. It happens, we lose motivation and its hard to keep going. Just decide to do it! Get up when your husband does, no excuses and get moving again!! Hold tight to whatever it is that you're pursuing! Keep your goals in mind. You can do it!
  • Biglovelovesme
    Biglovelovesme Posts: 133 Member
    You get up, brush yourself off and remind yourself that you are worth it to keep going. You haven't failed....you just hit the " hold button temporarily. Don't be so hard on yourself, look at the # of people on this site. We are all human.
    You are here and starting again, you are far from a failure!
    Cheers:smile:
  • ingridrose
    ingridrose Posts: 12
    You can't be so hard on yourself. Just sitting there repeating all the things you did wrong won't help you lose that weight. I know this is easier than it sounds because I use to do the same thing. Just realize you are starting over and start taking more baby steps. After all that's all you can do in life.....put one foot in front of the other. Now you know where you went wrong. Learn from it and just get moving. You will lose it before you know it. :)
  • moodywench
    moodywench Posts: 4 Member
    I feel the same at the moment I would treat myself to a 'healthier' version of fast food at the weekend and I lost 28lbs in 3 months and it worked fine, then I was ill for a couple of weeks so I stopped watching what I had I didn't put on any weight really cos I didn't feel like eating much but since then I have put on about 4 or 5 lbs I reckon as i can't seem to get back on track.

    It's depressing isn't it as you fell like you have undone a lot of your hard work!
    Hopefully this week will be better going to go and buy lots of fruit & veg and force myself to eat it!!

    Good luck!
  • Pinky67
    Pinky67 Posts: 108 Member
    Just start again...starting is the hard part, but it doesn't last long. Once your on a roll again, it will get easier. You've done it once, you can do it again. Good luck and keep it up :bigsmile:
  • hush7hush
    hush7hush Posts: 2,273 Member
    A mistake only becomes a failure when you refuse to fix it.
  • Ichbinceiling
    Ichbinceiling Posts: 97
    I had done about the same thing a few weeks ago, however, you can't say, "Oh, I"ll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow (or even next week) will be better." PUT DOWN the bad food now. Get up and go to the gym in the morning when your husband goes to PT. I say, why put things off? You're not hurting anyone.. but yourself.

    Good luck my friend!
  • robinmyer
    robinmyer Posts: 2 Member
    I hear ya.. I lost 10 pounds and was so proud and keeping it off for a while. Then to go back to my old habits and gain it back. So frustrating. Keep your chin up- it's worth the struggle :) I'm hanging in right along with you. It's day one (today) for me. Just think positive and don't beat yourself up if you screw up during the day. Just say, it's ok and the rest of the day is going to go better.
  • Sissy4EverX3
    Sissy4EverX3 Posts: 247
    First thing you gotta do is stop looking at yourself as a failure. If I may share something I'm learning in one of my college classes:

    We are all Victims or Creators. We either make or break our successes and the key is to become the Creator of our own life, rather than being the Victim of our choices. The idea is to change your way of thinking. And trust me, I know it's not easy to do. Your "problem" is a good example. You've fallen off the wagon (per se) and you're finding it difficult to get back on. It's been your CHOICE to eat the unhealthy stuff and your CHOICE to not hit the gym. Stop to think about WHY you're making these choices and instead of making excuses (like, 'I haven't had enough time' or 'There's too much going on right now') come up with an action plan. STOP making those excuses! And listen to your "Inner Critic" -- that's the one that's telling you you're a failure. Then let your "Inner Guide" shut that Critic up by hittin the gym!

    You can do this!
  • lauraallover
    lauraallover Posts: 28 Member
    You guys are right. I keep making excuses for myself. I once read that if we tell ourselves all the time "I'll lose weight" or "I'll quit smoking" and we don't... We begin to not trust ourselves, and when we tell ourselves those things in the future, they hold no weight.

    I'll go to the gym with my husband, because I need to be waking up earlier anyway, and if I do it in the morning, I wont have an excuse during the day (too much work to do, etc)

    Thanks guys :( It feels horrible having to RElose, but I do only have myself to blame.
  • monica208
    monica208 Posts: 229
    im in the same boat i was doing really well for a while and i ahve been all over the place for the last couple of months... every week i say im getting back on and i have yet too.. im hoping i can stick to it this time... it really works when you follow the program... i have to get my motivation back...
  • lauraallover
    lauraallover Posts: 28 Member
    im in the same boat i was doing really well for a while and i ahve been all over the place for the last couple of months... every week i say im getting back on and i have yet too.. im hoping i can stick to it this time... it really works when you follow the program... i have to get my motivation back...

    I don't know about you, but I've started preparing myself by writing lists and goals. I wrote out my daily schedule on my whiteboard, in my iphone, and on my facebook. I've also put in the weights I want to be for each week, or my "goals".
  • sweetdianachka
    sweetdianachka Posts: 318 Member
    I was in the same boat too Laura. I had to start over a few months ago, and then i sort of plateaued because I wasn't keeping with everything. The thing that got me motivated again was having a short term goal, we're going to Guam for vacation over Thanksgiving, so I set up my weekly/monthly weight loss around that, and every time i start to slip I just think of being on the beach and how I want to look then. But once I got back onto the bus with the short term goals, now I'm thinking of long term, like my final goal weigh and how awesome it will be once i get there. I know you're leaving Korea soon, how about setting up your goals around that?? good luck girl!
  • kyle4jem
    kyle4jem Posts: 1,400 Member
    I was doing really well with my weight loss. I had lost 20 lbs within just a couple of months, and counting! Then I stopped going to the gym, started having BK, Fried Chicken, and all that garbage on the weekends (I was able to only do it once a week and limit myself.) And I just gave up all together with the mentality that I'll "do it next week. I promise."

    Drinking soda (when I hadn't touched one in month) and not limiting myself. How do you guys get over a failure.
    A 20lbs drop in couple of months is quite a lot unless you are really big (there's no stats or details on your profile so it's difficult to tell).

    While I'm a great believer that no food's a sin... be honest with yourself... fast food is just not going to do you any good if you are trying to lose weight.

    Exercise is good... doesn't matter what you do, just do a little every or every other day. You don't need to kill yourself... it should be enjoyable, yes you should feel the benefit, but don't overdo it or you'll not want to do it again and again :happy:

    Likewise your daily food intake should include lots of things you like... maybe in smaller portions that you are used to, but if you change to eating foods you're unfamiliar with and aren't enjoying eating... then it'll drive your cravings into overdrive. I eat a varied diet of wholesome foods, all of which I love and enjoy eating, but I keep my portions in check :bigsmile:

    You're still young. Getting fit and into shape is not a race. Take your time and you will learn what suits you best . There's no magic wand and you need to want to change... put this behind you, you are NOT a failure, you've just taken a detour. :flowerforyou:
  • lauraallover
    lauraallover Posts: 28 Member
    @Diana: That's a good idea. I'd rather leave Korea looking decent, I don't want my friends and family to be thinking "Wow, she really let go." :/ It's only two months, but I'm sure I can lose the 20 again.

    Kyle4jem: My siggy states my weight. :) I WAS at 240, lost over 20 lbs. But you're right. Just a matter of controlling myself and taking control of my life.
  • lauraallover
    lauraallover Posts: 28 Member
    Just wanted to say, thanks all for the motivation. I thought I wouldn't be working out today because I woke up late because I couldn't fall asleep, but, I did count calories and watch my eating. Then I thought, "why should I just sit around all day JUST because I didn't wake up?" The house needed a HUGE clean, too. So, I spent 4 hours cleaning. After dinner, my husband came home and suggested we take the dog for a small walk. We decided to get out there and instead of doing a SMALL walk, (~15 mins) we walked for an hour and a half to a river and back!

    I just thought to myself "I can't keep putting this off! I CAN do this!" I love the motivation all you guys give me. TYSM!
  • UltraRunnerGale
    UltraRunnerGale Posts: 346 Member
    Get up, dust yourself off, and get right back on that horse and RIDE. Weight loss is NOT easy and it's easy to get off track. Think about how good you will feel around the holidays with a new body!! Surprise people you haven't seen in a long time and build up your self esteem and confidence!! Take it one day at a time and if necessary, one moment at a time!! You CAN do this!! :bigsmile:
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
    Just remember " A year from now you will wish you had started today"!!!!!!

    You have 78lbs to go, do you really want to have to start back up a year from now? Maybe a year from now you wont' have 78lbs to go but rather 100lbs! You just have to motivate yourself and keep thinking if you want to keep doing this year after year!
  • lauraallover
    lauraallover Posts: 28 Member
    I'm so motivated again. This morning I didn't get up in time to go with my husband (and my husband forgot to wake me, because I sleep through his alarms.) But I went to the gym anyway! Started off small (only 30 mins) but I feel really accomplished. AND, I weighed myself. I thought I was back to where I started (around 235~). Last time I weighed myself I was 218, now I am 223.9, which motivates me more, because I haven't gained ALL the weight back in that month I haven't been working out. So my goal for next week is 221.9 - and reading on here helps me out so much.

    And you guys are right. I look back at when I first gained the weight and I got gym membership, and straight after going to the gym, I'd go to an all you can eat Chinese buffet. No joke. I'm VERY embarrassed about that.

    I tracked all my calories yesterday, but I haven't ate at all today (I'm just not hungry, I understand I need to eat though.) I'm so glad I posted this. You guys have motivated me !
  • rmalicdem
    rmalicdem Posts: 1 Member
    :smile:
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    How do you guys get over a failure.

    You put on your big girl panties and face it head on. You own the fact that you stopped, you already know the road ahead, and you plow ahead. While you're pounding out the miles on the dreadmill, or the iron in the weight room you analyze why you failed this time, what's holding you back, how you got there in the first place, and then you figure out how to get over it.
  • siabevis
    siabevis Posts: 811
    i would recommend a detox or cleanse to rid the body of the toxins for a couple days and then just start fresh :)
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