My opinion on dealing with Setbacks and Failure

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It's happened to the best of us. We have the best plan and intentions to achieve a goal and somewhere along the way "BAM", something obstructs or derails us on the path. For many this setback may be just the one thing to have them give up. In weight loss it's usually "I didn't lose any weight" or "I gained weight" and they throw in the towel. Some set a goal for a specific date and don't think they'll make it so they quit halfway through.
What most people don't expect should be expected. You plan for the BEST, but be prepared for the worst. Here's an article that I've kept to remind people that setbacks and failures are part of ANY goal towards success.



“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” — Winston Churchill

One of the best ways to deal with setbacks is to expect them. When you expect them, you take their power away.

In doing so, you empower yourself. You can choose your response, instead of just react. The key is to predetermine the right ways to deal with them, so you can respond more effectively.

The saying that stuck with me for years is, “Hope for the best, plan for the worst.” It keeps me optimistic, but also realistic in terms of expectations, time frames, effort, and potential challenges. Otherwise, it would be like working out without expecting resistance, but it’s the resistance that makes me stronger. In a way, it’s the adversity that makes success sweeter.

In the book, Mentored by a Millionaire: Master Strategies of Super Achievers , Steven K. Scott shows us how adversity is something to expect and respond to in more effective ways.

No Worthwhile Success is Every Achieved without Adversity
Great success has a price, and adversity is part of the path. Scott writes:

“I normally fly around 100,000 miles a year, so I meet a lot of people on airplanes. It’s not uncommon to hear tales of woe about their jobs, their careers, their businesses, or even their marriages. Most have seemed surprised or even shocked by the fact that in the pursuit of success in their projects, goals, or dreams, they encountered harsh criticism, severe adversity, or even failure. The truth is, no worthwhile success in any endeavor is ever achieved without encountering adversity.”

Every Worthwhile Dream Lies on Top of a Rugged Mountain
Edison expected problems and failures as part of his journey. This helped him better respond to criticism, adversity, and failure. Scott writes:

“Since every worthwhile dream lies on top of a rugged mountain, there is no easy way to get to it. Edison not only understand this fact — he counted on it! He considered criticism, adversity, and failure as necessary to the achievement of extraordinary success, just as exhaling is necessary to breathing. Because Edison expected criticism, he was always prepared for it, and responded to it rather than reacting to it. Because Edison expected problems and failures, he was always ready for them and never panicked by them.”

The Wrong Ways to Deal with Criticism and Failure
Many of the default ways of dealing with criticism and failure are ineffective. Scott writes:

“Here are just a few of the wrong ways most of us deal with criticism and failure. First, we may become angry, defensive, discouraged, or depressed. We may put, withdraw, or deny: “It wasn’t my fault. I really didn’t make that big of a mistake.” We make excuses. We rationalize our failures. Some personality types respond to failure by attacking, blaming others, or even blaming circumstances. Some people become overly introspective and frustrated and view themselves as failures.”

The Right Ways to Deal with Failures or Strikeouts
There are three keys to dealing with failures … own it, analyze it, and change your approach. Scott writes:

“So what are the right ways for dealing with our failures or strikeouts? Edison saw three critical components. First, you must accept full responsibility for the strikeout or for your part in it. Second, analyze your strikeout to determine its causes. Third, come back up to the plate with a new approach, determined not to make the same mistakes in your future efforts.”



I say "the highway to success has no traffic jam" because there are few that will actually take it. We've seen many a person here get on the site with the excitement and best intentions and a couple of weeks later not heard from again. For those that stay, it's a testimony to how you will see how even in the roughest and toughest times, you can end up on top. That's what I love about Fitness. When a person achieves success, no one did the workouts, no one ate for you, and no one dealt with the discipline and sacrifices you may have had to endure. There was no luck involved, no good hand you were dealt, and no one gave you an advantage over anyone else.

So if you're reading this and feel like you can't achieve, I'll say "BUCK UP! Winners never quit, and quitters never win! Get up and do it again cause it's those that will make the difference!"

NUFF SAID!!!
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Replies

  • CaptainMFP
    CaptainMFP Posts: 440 Member
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    There's an old adage from the military that says "No plan survives the battlefield." If you have no plan, you can't hope to progress. If you don't expect your plant to be trashed along the way, you can't hope to progress. Plan for the best, expect the rest, and roll with the punches as they come. :smile:
  • Morglem
    Morglem Posts: 377 Member
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    I have to bump this :)
  • dvarrassi12
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    I have to say, this post couldn't have come at a better time! I've been feeling so discouraged with my weight loss lately. I workout 5-6 days a week and try to eat healthy, which has been working for 4 months, and all the sudden 5lb gain over the past week. But I won't give up! 5lbs in the grand scheme of my plan is nothing when I have the rest of my life to do it!
  • foodforfuel
    foodforfuel Posts: 569 Member
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    Good post. Thanks!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,668 Member
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    I have to say, this post couldn't have come at a better time! I've been feeling so discouraged with my weight loss lately. I workout 5-6 days a week and try to eat healthy, which has been working for 4 months, and all the sudden 5lb gain over the past week. But I won't give up! 5lbs in the grand scheme of my plan is nothing when I have the rest of my life to do it!
    Reassess and rededicate. It's a normal process that happens when weight loss is involved. Remember that victory is really sweet once you realize how you took a road most won't take.
  • lucyhoneychurch
    lucyhoneychurch Posts: 576 Member
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    Very fitting message today.

    The concept of : "own it, analyze it, and change your approach" is a simple paradigm that can transcend into all areas of your life. I apply it to my own self often, especially to get out of life's ruts like clutter and disorganization.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and reminding me of one of my favorite sayings: "Acknowledge. And move on!"
  • lemonadem
    lemonadem Posts: 398 Member
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    This is a great post, thank you!!! :D
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,668 Member
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    Very fitting message today.

    The concept of : "own it, analyze it, and change your approach" is a simple paradigm that can transcend into all areas of your life. I apply it to my own self often, especially to get out of life's ruts like clutter and disorganization.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and reminding me of one of my favorite sayings: "Acknowledge. And move on!"
    These are great too. I've learned that to be a good motivator you don't have to be a great originator, but a good duplicator. Thanks for sharing!
  • Kphenderson
    Kphenderson Posts: 60 Member
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    I needed this post today, it couldn't have come at a better time. Thanks, thanks, thanks!!!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,668 Member
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    I needed this post today, it couldn't have come at a better time. Thanks, thanks, thanks!!!
    We just need to remind ourselves that it can happen at anytime. Refer back to it when you need to.
  • sc1572
    sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
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    LOVE this, thank you!!!
  • slimdownspicey
    slimdownspicey Posts: 110 Member
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    totally needed this today...gained 5lb from eating crap and salt this weekend and need to move on!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,668 Member
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    bump
  • ziggy67
    ziggy67 Posts: 351
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    It was a refreshing change being able to log on and find a motivational post for a change....I had a bad day today and went over my calorie limit for the first time in weeks...all because I had a moments weakness when I visited my parents and ate a fresh cream scone!
    At our gym we have a big sign up in reception that says "The extra mile is all between the ears".....it is so true! Nobody forced me to eat that scone...I could have said 'no thank-you' but I didn't. Tomorrow I will deal with my setback when I get back down the gym and burn off every single one of those extra calories and more beside!
  • StarGeezer
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    Excellent post! It's a great reminder to remain positive (which has become my personal byline lately) and to focus only what is on the path ahead, not what we've already come through. If the mountain was perfectly smooth, you couldn't hope to climb it!

    *BUMPAGE!* :D
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,668 Member
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    It was a refreshing change being able to log on and find a motivational post for a change....I had a bad day today and went over my calorie limit for the first time in weeks...all because I had a moments weakness when I visited my parents and ate a fresh cream scone!
    At our gym we have a big sign up in reception that says "The extra mile is all between the ears".....it is so true! Nobody forced me to eat that scone...I could have said 'no thank-you' but I didn't. Tomorrow I will deal with my setback when I get back down the gym and burn off every single one of those extra calories and more beside!
    Reset and go. That's the name of the game.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,668 Member
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    Excellent post! It's a great reminder to remain positive (which has become my personal byline lately) and to focus only what is on the path ahead, not what we've already come through. If the mountain was perfectly smooth, you couldn't hope to climb it!

    *BUMPAGE!* :D
    Pessimism and procrastination belong in a dark room where negatives are developed. It takes strength to face the hard path.
  • sabified
    sabified Posts: 1,051 Member
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    I've been trying to read this all day, but between the internet constantly going down and the work I have to do (at work... who'da thought? lol) I'm gonna have to bump this for later :(
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,668 Member
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    I've been trying to read this all day, but between the internet constantly going down and the work I have to do (at work... who'da thought? lol) I'm gonna have to bump this for later :(
    It'll still be here!!!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,668 Member
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    bump