Finding Time to Exercise With Little Kids

penguinmama87
penguinmama87 Posts: 1,158 Member
edited March 2021 in Motivation and Support
So, if you've seen me around the boards before, you know I have kids. Five of them. I love them dearly, but sometimes their needs can make logistics difficult.

Up until a few weeks ago, my main exercise was bodyweight YouTube videos. I do them first thing in the morning (I'm an early riser by nature), and if one or two of the kids wander down and want to "do them too" or just watch, I deal. But now that the weather is warming up, and I've lost a little weight and am feeling better, I've been itching to run again. I love being outdoors, especially early in the morning when everything is quiet. If I go early enough, I can leave and get back before anybody else is up, which was my original goal. However, the baby (nine months) seems to have developed a sixth sense about me leaving the house, and will wake up and be quite put out that I'm not around. My husband is definitely NOT a morning person, and rather resents having to get up much earlier than he'd like. Part of me wants to tell him "tough cookies," but I know how I would feel if he was also making me deal with, say, bedtime all by myself several times per week while he went out and did something.

So I'm trying to figure out if and when I can plan my runs, and trying not to let perfection (in my head, going for a run in the morning while everyone else is asleep and not having to contend with many other people or traffic) be the enemy of the good (actually getting time to get out there in a way that doesn't throw my family into chaos).

My husband goes to work during the day. I homeschool the kids, though the oldest three will be going to school in the fall. My oldest is mature enough to be home alone, but not quite mature enough to be responsible for his siblings while I'm gone. Taking them with me feels like a nightmare. I do walk with them most days, which will continue when they go to school. I suppose I could either hold off until my baby is sleeping better again in the early mornings, or get a gym membership and use the childcare during the day a couple times per week (I'm loathe to spend money on that, especially when I'd much prefer to run outside anyway). Other possibilities include a mother's helper/babysitter, or possibly swapping childcare with another stay at home parent during daytime hours, or running in the evening - meaning working around dinner and bedtime, and sunset. I'm running at present right around dawn, and by summer it will be mostly light at that time. I don't fancy running in the dark, though where we live is reasonably safe. Loose dogs probably pose more of a risk than people, though that's not a concern unique to nighttime.

Anyway, I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels here. I can reasonably accept that I'm going to have to adapt some as I go. I'd love to hear from other parents who have had to figure this out. And I know all my babies won't be little forever. But I do get tired sometimes of the idea that I just need to "wait them out."

Replies

  • I just want to say I understand. I had the same issues and let them get the best of me unfortunately. I gained back weight I had lost. Now that my kids are older I am trying again. I also homeschool my three. Can I add you as a friend?
  • Iwannabeapunkrockmom
    Iwannabeapunkrockmom Posts: 61 Member
    I can commiserate. I also have five kids. I have accepted that I simply cannot plan on regularly leaving the house to workout. We live near a paved trail and sometimes go on walks together, but I don't depend on it for daily activity. Tbh my most frequent workout is Just Dance on the Nintendo switch simply because the kids can do it with me. Sometimes I also do online dance classes through CLI studios. When I feel physically able, I'll do a workout using my stairs going up to my back deck or a body weight workout in my fitbit coach app. When all else fails, I try to squeeze in a 7 minute workout any chance I can. If the kids won't leave me alone, I simply tell them that I have chores for them to do and it's amazing how they suddenly disappear, lol.

    It's tough, but I'm sure your already know, you just gotta make it work here and there where you can.
  • penguinmama87
    penguinmama87 Posts: 1,158 Member
    Thank you both @stephaniemaples7026 and @Iwannabeapunkrockmom! I think the hardest thing for me is knowing that for me, running in particular is as much exercise as an opportunity to get out of the house and have some quiet. My mind tends to be "on" all the time and running quiets that. I know how important it is to find some kind of activity I enjoy if I want to keep it up, and it's frustrating to know that I have found one I really like, without a huge barrier of entry as far as cost goes, and yet life logistics make it difficult...at least for now. I do think I'm going to keep trying and see if this is just an adjustment period that will work itself out, but if the baby keeps waking up then I'm just going to have to do something else for a while until she's sleeping better, I guess.

    I have really appreciated being more active with the kids too on our walks, and it's funny how they twist themselves into pretzels and try and do the same exercises I'm doing at home (the entire concept of being still and holding a position is completely foreign to them. I'm not particularly good at planks, but I am better at them than my 10 year old, who says, "This is impossible!" simply because he dislikes having to be still.) This winter I also found some dance videos for us to do together when playing outside was just not going to happen. I like doing these things with my kids, but I still find myself wanting to carve out a sliver of time just for me. I think not having it has a lot to do with why I put on so much weight to begin with - I wasn't ordering my priorities very well, and was *always* letting the needs of the kids and my husband come first, and looking for an easier flow to our family life meant I kept shelving what I needed, which is just not going to be sustainable long term.
  • @alisdairsmommy I am the same way, I need that hour of just me exercise. When I couldn’t get it I had “just me snack time” after the kids were in bed.

    My kids have incredible mommy radar, they know from a dead sleep if I leave the house. While it’s kind of sweet, it’s also incredibly frustrating.

    I wonder if you could negotiate something with your husband. Maybe give him something he likes or needs for 3 specific mornings of a guaranteed run. Time out with the guys or something? My husband had to leave for work at 4:15 am when mine were little so I wasn’t getting up at 2 :30 😳 even for me time.

    Maybe you could pay your oldest a bit? My youngest was a large space from the older 2 so they were 5 and 7 when she was born. A couple mornings I got up and found Mr. 5 up with my littlest and about to change her diaper. I freaked out the first time but he was so good with her. Not that I would have left him alone with her at that age but maybe 8 or 9 with dad nearby.

    Either way, I hope something works out for you to get that run in. It’s definitely important to take care of ourselves too.
  • kblew88
    kblew88 Posts: 1 Member
    I just have the one kid at the moment, but I still really sympathize with this. I agree with @stephaniemaples7026 that working out a compromise with your husband might be the best idea. I explained it to my husband as a tradeoff of extra childcare for having a not-cranky wife and when put that way, he was willing to buy in for three days a week at specific times (times which weren't my top pick, but running at a less-ideal time, alone, is better than running with a stroller/kids).

    I also will say that I joined a running group years ago and the number one thing I got out of it was comfort running in the dark (and the rain), with a headlight and reflective vest. It opened up the door to night running and pre-dawn running and has made a world of difference, although I still definitely prefer daylight runs. I really appreciate the quiet solo runs to clear my mind and I decided that I could compromise on when and where, but I needed it to be solo. We've made it work before, we'll make it work again.
  • yayamom3
    yayamom3 Posts: 939 Member
    Can you get up early and run while hubby and kids are still asleep? That's what I used to do.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
    can hubby not watch them maybe before or after dinner?

    i mean, they're his kids, too.
  • elizabethherberger
    elizabethherberger Posts: 23 Member
    Can you take just the baby with you and use a jogging stroller? If the baby is the only concern your husband can stay home with the others while they all sleep and that way he won’t be woken up by the baby. Also, you deserve some time to yourself to get exercise so I would hope your husband would be supportive in finding a way for you to make time each day.
  • penguinmama87
    penguinmama87 Posts: 1,158 Member
    yayamom3 wrote: »
    Can you get up early and run while hubby and kids are still asleep? That's what I used to do.

    That was the plan, but the baby has been waking up much earlier than usual. As mentioned above it's like "mommy radar" - I leave the house and *she knows*!
    can hubby not watch them maybe before or after dinner?

    i mean, they're his kids, too.

    Evening can get tricky due to his work schedule and other social obligations/kid activities. I am open to having a staggered or weird schedule if that's the only way I can get it to work, though!
    Can you take just the baby with you and use a jogging stroller? If the baby is the only concern your husband can stay home with the others while they all sleep and that way he won’t be woken up by the baby. Also, you deserve some time to yourself to get exercise so I would hope your husband would be supportive in finding a way for you to make time each day.

    I've been thinking about a jogging stroller. I used to have one and I learned very quickly I hated running with it. The terrain around here is not really suited to running with one (incomplete or poor condition sidewalks, plus very hilly.) I can make it work for walks with my regular stroller, but in low light/dark with a baby is not really ideal. If I can find a cheap or free used one, I might go ahead and pick it up for days I might have to bring her.

    I did ask my husband to think over what could make early morning work for him, since he agreed with me it's really the best time to go for the rest of our family life. He asked if I could just remind him the evening before so he goes to bed a bit earlier than usual, and to avoid running on days he knows he will have to work late, so that he's not having both an early morning and a late night on the same day. I plan to stick to the same schedule so I should be able to work around that.
  • I’m glad you were able to work something out with your husband 😎

    I used a jogging stroller for a while but I found it hard to be in a good running rhythm with it. My arms are not long so I would end up kicking it. And you can’t swing your arms even a bit, which I like to do. I ended up holding the handle with one arm and jogging to one side of the stroller 🙃 Anyway, hopefully that little one will start sleeping in.